IN THE DARK
Rachel: 'Lenny: please: don't.'
Lenny: 'You think I'm not going to find you, - after you humiliated me - again?'
Rachel: 'I didn't do anything! I swear! I'd never:'
Lenny: 'No! I know what you do. I see.
The men, - the lies, - this is the last time, damn it!'
Rachel: 'What are you on, Baby? You only get like this when you:'
'What are you going to do? Pulverize me right here? Someone is going to hear me scream.'
Lenny: 'In downtown LA at night?
Nobody is going to hear, Rach. Nobody who cares. Besides this will all be over fast.
Rachel: 'Lenny - please - no!'
Lenny: 'I'm sorry. I just can't take this anymore.'
Angel: 'Poor Lenny. The burden of terrorizing your girlfriend too much for you? Lucky for you I can make it stop.'
'Rachel, are you alright?'
Rachel: 'Is he:'
Angel: 'It's okay. He's not getting up for a while.'
Rachel: 'I can't believe you actually showed up.'
Angel: 'Well, that was the deal, right?'
Spike: 'How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing?
No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me.
You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me.
Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth.
No, not the hair! Never the hair!
But there must be someway I can show my appreciation.
No, helping those in need's my job, - and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough!
I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so: Say no more. Evil's still afoot! And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair-gel that I like so much.
Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away!'
'Go on with you. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way. - The ring of Amarra - a visit from your old pal Spike, - and, oh yeah, - your gruesome, horrible death.'
Radio: 'Another uninterrupted 40-minute-block. You are listening to LA's only alternative KLA-Rock. It's 11:05, do you know what your karma is?'
Cordy: 'This is so awesome. Our first walk-in client. Everything is going according to plan!
See girl in distress, - see Angel save girl from druggy/stalker boyfriend, - See boyfriend go to jail - and see Invoice! Ta-da!'
Doyle: 'Nothing. You're doing a lovely job there. Looks very official.'
Cordy: 'So why are you not rejoicing at out first paying client?'
Doyle: 'Because that's not money you're holding in your hand there, darling, that's mail. There's a big difference between that and actually getting paid.'
Cordy: 'But she has to pay! - Invoice! That's the rule of our whole, like, society!'
Doyle: 'Defaulting? That's another popular rule in our society - especially with the down-and-outs.
Not that I've perpetrated said heinousness myself:'
Cordy: 'So what are you saying. Why bother?'
Doyle: 'All I'm saying is that if we're ever going to take that cruise to the Bahamas together, we're going to need a lot more clients of means.'
Cordy: 'And an alternate reality in which you are Matthew McConaughey.'
Oz: 'Hello, LA.'
Cordy: 'Oz? Oh, my god. Oz. It's so good to see you. Good old Oz! Oz.
Doyle: 'Let me just take a stab at it, you'd be Oz?'
Oz: 'Good guess.'
Cordy: 'This is so cool! I mean, here you are in LA, and you're the total embodiment of all things Sunnydale.'
Oz: 'It's a burden, but I manage.'
Cordy: 'We have some serious catching up to do. How is everything? How's - how's the bronze?'
Oz: 'The same.'
Cordy: 'And the gang?'
Oz: 'They're good.'
Cordy: 'Good? - Good! - Good.'
Oz: 'Are we done?'
'Oh, this is Doyle. He - works here.'
Oz: Hey. So, I heard the rumors, but you guys can fill me in on the real deal here.
So you guys are - like detectives?'
Cordy: 'No, I'm an actress!'
Doyle: 'And quite a captivating one at that.'
Cordy: 'And between my many gigs, I sometimes choose to help Angel.'
Doyle: 'He's the detective.'
Oz: 'Does he have a hat and gun?'
Cordy: 'Just fangs.'
Oz: 'Well, that works. - Where is he?'
Angel: 'Hey guys. Oz.'
Angel: 'Nice surprise.'
Angel: 'Staying long?'
Oz: 'Few days.'
Doyle: 'Are they always like this?'
Oz: 'No, we're usually laconic.'
Angel: 'Come on in. So, - good to see you.'
Oz: Likewise. I came primarily for a gig, but also to give you this.'
Doyle: 'Wait a minute, is that what I think it is?'
Angel: 'It's the gem of Amarra.'
Oz: 'One and the same. Buffy wanted you to have it.'
Cordy: 'Hey, Buffy. How is good old Buffy anyway?'
Oz: 'She is:'
Cordy: 'What? Still the brave little Slayer or is she moping around in the dark like: like nobody around here. Hm-mm.'
Oz: 'She is good. - She is Buffy.'
Doyle: 'And I'm sure we'll be interested in that later, but right now can we concentrate on the mother-load Angel just hit?'
'What are you waiting for, man? Put it on!'
Cordy: 'Okay, you're getting weird about this ring. Since when did you go all versace about accessorizing?'
Doyle: 'Since the accessory is priceless and renders it's wearer 100% unkillable if he's a vampire.'
Cordy: 'Unkillable? Whew. You mean not even stakes?'
Doyle: 'Not nothing. Not stakes, not fire, and the best thing is not even sunlight.
I mean just think of it man.
Poolside tanning, bargain matinees, - plus I know a couple of strip clubs that have a fabulous luncheon buffet, I mean, it's - I've heard.'
Angel: 'And it's from Buffy.'
Oz: 'Yeah. Your buddy Spike dug up Sunnydale looking for it. He got a fist full of Buffy and left it behind. She wanted to be sure it was in good hands.'
Angel: 'So she sent you.'
Oz: 'I was heading this way.'
Cordy: 'And she didn't even send a note? Wow. That's really - this is one of those times when I should just shy away from the topic, isn't it?'
Doyle: 'Come on! I have something that will boost your spirits. Why don't you put it on and I'll stake you. It'll be fun!'
Angel: 'Maybe later.'
Doyle: 'What, are you out of your mind?'
Angel: 'I said, maybe later.'
Doyle: 'Okay, you have it your way, man. But I'm still going to celebrate with a drink down at the pub.'
Cordy: 'He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink at the pub. You coming, Oz?'
Oz: 'Yeah. I could eat something.'
Angel: 'Go ahead.'
Doyle: 'Oh, god. You know what would feel really good right now? One of those mind-numbing, head-cracking visions that
I get from time to time, because that would really kill me now. Is there some kind of trick to this?'
Cordy: 'I think the trick is laying of the ale before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby man.'
Doyle: 'Hey, that's a good book.'
Cordy: 'So I've heard. But I doubt that the main characters are Betty and Barney Rubble as you so vehemently insisted last night.
Also I don't think Oz appreciated being called my little Bam-bam all night.'
Angel: 'Hello? - Hello.'
Angel: 'Rachel. Are you alright?'
Rachel: 'They let Lenny out. - The lawyer said something about a technicality.'
Angel: 'I'll be right there.'
Spike: 'Angel. I believe you have something I'm looking for - a shiny, little bauble?'
Angel: 'Might as well go home, Spike. The gem of Amarra stays with me.'
Spike: 'Why? Because you are vampire detective now? I"m so scared. What's next? Vampire cowboy? Vampire fireman? Oh, vampire ballerina.'
Angel: 'I do like to work with my legs.'
'We duke it out, huh? Is this your big strategy to get the ring back?'
Spike: 'Hey, I had a plan!'
Angel: 'You? A plan?'
Spike: 'A good plan. Smart. Carefully laid out. - But I got bored.
All that watching, waiting, - my legs started to cramp. Enough with the hit'n'quip. Just tell me were the damn ring is.'
Angel: 'It wouldn't go with your outfit.'
Spike: 'Cordelia. You look smashing. Did you lose weight?'
Cordy: 'Yes, there is this great gym at - hey!'
Spike: 'I'll get that ring. This isn't over until one of us is a pile of dust, mate.'
Cordy: 'Are you okay?'
Doyle: 'More importantly, how's the ring?'
Angel: 'It's fine. I can't say the same for you two though. You better get out of sight until this thing is over.
Spike is out for blood.
Take her to your place.'
Cordy: 'His place? Why can't I just go home?'
Angel: 'Because he knows you, Cordelia. If he wants to he'll track you down.'
Cordy: 'Yeah, but he's not invited, right? He can't come in.'
Doyle: 'No, but he can burn the place to the ground.'
Cordy: 'Okay then. Doyle's place it is.'
Doyle: 'What about you, man. You know he'll be coming back for you before long.'
Angel: 'I know.'
Cordy: 'So what are you going to do?'
Angel: 'Find him first.'
Cordy: 'Alright, let's go.'
Doyle: 'Not Spice, that's the bird down on Broadway. Spike, like in railroads.
- Uhuh, - yeah, vampire, right. _
No? - Okay, then. Thanks.'
'Frankie Tripod? A big no.'
Cordy: 'Frankie Tripod? Oh, I get it. Some kind of three-legged monster, right?'
Doyle: 'No, he's human.'
Cordy: Then why is his name: Oh:'
Doyle: 'Hey listen, why don't you sit down. Get comfortable. Angel said I should go through every name in my book until I get a bead on where Spike is hiding out. Could be a while.'
Cordy: 'Please. I couldn't get comfortable in here if the floor was lined with mink. I mean, how can you live like this?'
Doyle: 'Well, I didn't until last week. Then I saw what you did with your place and I just had to call my decorator.'
Cordy: 'No way. My apartment is nowhere near this yucky. It smells like bong water in here.'
Doyle: 'Okay a couple of laundry might be a couple of days over due, but...'
'Yeah? - Hey, Kizzy. Yeah, vamp named Spike. No? Okay. What, a 'C' note?
No, I absolutely paid that back, man! Hey, no, sorry, there goes my other line.'
'He was mistaken, but I didn't have time to get into it, right? _ I'm on a mission here! -
So what about this Spike? Is he as bad as all that? I mean should I be sweating?'
Cordy: 'He's really not:- sweat.'
Doyle: 'That's what I figured.'
Rachel: 'You keep showing up like this and I'm going to think you're a man of your word.'
Angel: 'Stranger things:'
Rachel: 'Not many.'
Angel: 'So we'll get you out of here. There are places you can go, where you'll be safe.'
Rachel: 'Like a shelter?'
Angel: 'It's a start. He won't be able to find you, I swear.'
Rachel: 'No, it's not the shelter it's just - ah - Half the time, you khow this whole thing starts up again, Lenny and me?'
Angel: 'You call him.'
Rachel: 'I - I - I just start to jones for him. The way he jones for rock.
And I call, or I find him in some dive, and I drag him home, - and it's *good* for a while.'
Angel: 'But it doesn't last. This last time he would have killed you.'
Rachel: 'I'm scared, Angel, I'm more scared of me right now than I am of him.'
Angel: 'You're at a crossroads, I know. It's either go for the easy fix and wait for the consequences, or take the hard road and go with faith.'
Rachel: 'Oh, god. You're not from that freaky church on Sunset, are you?'
Angel: 'In yourself. That kind of faith. -
What I'm saying is: if you leave Lenny for good, it'll hurt. But eventually you'll be stronger for it. And maybe you'll find your way to the kind of love you deserve.'
Rachel: 'You mean the kind of love that comes without 911 calls?'
Angel: 'That's the general idea.'
Cordy: 'Oh, yeah, Spike's nearly done Buffy in a few times. I mentioned that he's killed two Slayers already?'
Doyle: 'You did.'
Cordy: 'Oh, and this one time he and Dru raised this demon that burned people from the inside. It was this whole weird thing with an arm in a box.'
Doyle: 'An arm in a box?'
'House of Pies.'
Angel: 'Doyle? Is that you?'
Doyle: 'Oh, sorry man. Just laying low.
All those calls to past acquaintances stirred up a few, uh, old resentments.'
Angel: 'I hope it was worth it.'
Doyle: 'Yeah, well, listen Manny the Pig said he didn't know anything about a vampire called Spike.'
Doyle: 'So he said that before I mentioned anything about Spike. You'll find him at a joint down on third called the Orbit Room.'
Angel: 'Okay. I'll start with Manny the Pig then.'
Doyle: 'Work your way down.'
Guy: 'He left for the club.'
'Try the game.'
Pig: 'Put them down. He'll kill me if I talk.'
Angel: 'How healthy do you think it'll be to stay quiet?'
Pig: 'He's out back.'
Angel: 'Let her go!'
Spike: 'Did anyone ever tell you you were a real buzz-kill, mate?'
Spike: 'Caught me fair and square, White Hat. I guess there is nothing to do now but to go quietly and pay my debt to society.'
Angel: 'You think you can come to my town and pull this crap?
You never learn, Spike.'
Spike: 'I maybe a slow learner:'
'But eventually I learn.'
Cordy: 'Angel should have called by now. this is bad!'
Doyle: 'Maybe not. Maybe he did away with Spike in short order, and decided to give a go at surfing?'
Cordy: 'Right. - What am I worried about? Angel has the ring, right?'
Doyle: 'Right! I bet he is out hanging tan right about now, out on the sandy shore at Malibu . Wind in his hair...'
'Bikini babes are whistlin''
Spike: 'Marcus is an expert. Some say artist, but I've never been comfortable with labels. - He's a bloody king of torture, he is.
Humans, demons, - politicians, makes no difference. Some say he invented several of the Classics, - but he won't tell me which ones. -
beneath the cool exterior, you'll find he is rather shy. Except with kids. You like kids, don't you Marcus? -
Well, likes to eat. and other nasty things.'
Marcus: 'His skin:'
Spike: 'Annoying isn't it? Still attached.'
Marcus: 'Over 200 years of living and so little external damage. -
What about internal?'
Spike: 'Do you two need to be alone, or can we go on to the ouchy part?'
Marcus: 'He's known love.'
Spike: 'Yeah, and with a Slayer no less. How is that for perversion?'
Marcus: 'And he has a soul.'
Spike: 'Right, vampire with a soul.
Cursy-cursed to walk the earth trying to do good. That's not going to be a problem, is it?'
Marcus: 'On the contrary. Creatures with souls have something to lose.'
Spike: 'Souls, fingers, toes: Let's get chopping, will you? I want my damn ring.'
Marcus: 'What do you want, Angel?'
Angel: 'Are you going to torture me, or just bore me to death?'
Marcus: 'Probably a little of both.'
Spike: 'Someone's having shish kabob.'
Marcus: 'What do you want? What do you want Angel?'
Angel: 'A house in the country, a pair of good running shoes that you can also wear out to dinner.'
Spike: 'Why do you keep asking him that? And why do you keep playing that bleeding Brahms?'
Marcus: 'Actually it's Mozart. Symphony 41. I find it very effective.'
Spike: 'Yeah? Personally I prefer his older funnier symphonies myself. - LOOK I WANT MY RING BACK!
If I don't get it pretty soon, I'm going to stake me old Sire right here and now!'
Marcus: 'Are you finished? He knows you won't kill him until you get the ring. He knows you're lying.'
Spike: '*You* get it for me.'
Marcus: 'Soon he'll want to tell me everything he knows - and then some. - And he knows I'm not lying.'
Spike: 'I believe he does.'
Angel: 'You're an idiot, Spike.'
Spike: 'You think? Because I'm not the one chained to the ceiling with hot pokers in my side?'
Angel: 'You hired a vampire. What do you think he is going to do with the rings when he finds it, huh? Hand it over to you?'
Spike: 'Oh, good Lord, why didn't I think of:? Oh, wait half a mo', I did.
I hired a guy who doesn't care about the ring, or anything else on God's green earth
except taking blokes apart one piece at a time. - It's called addiction, Angel.
We all have it. I believe yours is named Slutty the vampire Slayer.
Thank you! - Speaking of little Buff, I ran into her recently. Your name didn't come up. Although she has been awful busy jumping the bones of the first lunk-head that came along. Good-looking fellow - used her shamelessly. -
She is cute when she is hurting, isn't she?'
Angel: 'I think she's cuter when she's kicking your ass.'
Spike: 'I think I will go get a bit of fresh air - leave you two kids to it.
Now that is music!'
'If I was a ring, where would I be? - -
Well, this is fun. - But it's going to get old real fast.'
Marcus: 'Most things that live and breath hate the dark and love the light. We are different though, aren't we? We hate the light of day, and it hates us back in kind.
You hid the ring Angel, or you could be walking in the light right now.
So I have to wonder: what do you want if not the ring?
It's through the pain that we find the truth of who we are. It strips us of our defenses.
We are made innocent again like children.
I like children, Angel. I'm here to help you find that innocence, Angel, - here - with the light.
Cordy: 'When you are done giving the place the Johnny Depp once-over - I hope you have the cash to pay for all of this.'
Spike: 'Cordelia. Love the hair.'
Cordy: 'Wish I could say the same.'
Doyle: 'That's close enough, dimwit'
Spike: 'What is it with you good guys running in packs? Who is this one then?'
Doyle: 'More than meets the eye, blondie.'
Spike: 'Ooh, the Mick's got spine! Maybe I'll snap it in two.'
Cordy: 'Do you want me to use this?'
Spike: 'You'll be dead before that arrow leaves the bow.
Now where was I? Bloody tired of looking for that ring. I think you two should take over now,'
Doyle: 'Where is Angel?'
Spike: 'Angel, um - tall brooding guy, caveman brow?
He's having the living hell tortures out of him. And you know how stubborn he can be, he might die before he gives up the ring.
Why don't you two find it real fast and give it to me.
I'll let Angel go.'
Cordy: 'I don't trust you.'
Spike: 'To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase: 'duh!'
But you have until sundown to save him. You'll find me behind Peterson's Fishery between Seward and Westminster. Don't be late.'
Marcus: 'You did terrible things when you were bad, didn't you? And now you are trying so hard to do good. But Angel, there is nothing either bad or good, but thinking makes it so
Now I can make the pain go away, and as you know, I can bring it back again.
What do you want, Angel? I think I know, but I'd like to hear it from you. The truth. I'll know if you're lying.'
Angel: 'I want - - forgiveness.'
Marcus: 'Yes. That's the truth, - and you want to earn it. You're not the type that takes the easy way out. Which is why I like you so much. In the end you won't feel guilt -
or remorse - or anything but pure darkness. In the end - the ring, the past, none of it will mean anything anymore. You'll be free. I promise.'
Angel: 'And I promise to kill you.'
Spike: 'Now, now, staking the torturer is strictly prohibited.'
'Easy, fella, still need that ring.
Now you've made him mad. Wouldn't want to be in your chains.'
Marcus: 'Won't be long now.'
Spike: 'Well, what's say I'll grab a pair of needle-nose pliers and give a hand?
Cordy: 'It's not in the freezer and it's not in the toilet tank. In the movies it's always in one of those places.'
Doyle: 'It's not here.'
Cordy: 'We've looked everywhere!'
Cordy: 'The rat infested sewer tunnels he uses to get around in the day time.'
'This is not a needle in a haystack, this is a needle in Kansas.'
Doyle: 'Yeah, I know, you're right. We just got to keep looking.'
Cordy: 'How did you do that?'
Doyle: 'You got to get lucky sometimes.'
Cordy: 'I could hug you! You're not that lucky. Now, come on we've got save Angel!'
Doyle: 'Right, by giving Spike exactly what he wants so he can kill us.'
Cordy: 'Right! - No, we need a plan.'
Spike: 'So - where is my ring?'
Doyle: 'Not on us.'
Cordy: 'But we know where it is.'
Spike: 'And suddenly I'm so painfully bored. Time runs short, children. Give me that ring as if Angel's life depended on it.'
Cordy: 'Listen you little Cockney, take us to Angel now.'
Doyle: 'So if he's still in one piece we tell you where you can find the ring.'
Spike: 'He is still alive I think. In one piece was never part of the deal.'
'Lucy, I'm home.'
Spike: 'hey, hey! A deal's a deal.'
Spike: 'And our deal was for the ring. You've wasted quiet enough of my time,
so I'd really like it - NOW!'
Doyle: 'You want the ring, you dog? Go fetch!'
Cordy: 'Okay. You've got the ring, we've got Angel. And now you're going to leave us alone, and we're going to leave.'
Spike: 'Come on. You don't really think that we're going to do that, do you?'
Cordy: 'Not really.'
Spike: 'Where is the ring? - Bloody hell.'
'Son of a bitch! - I do the work, - I do the digging, - fight off a Slayer, - drive to LA,
fire the help, - and what do I get? -
ROYALLY SCREWWED, is what! -
Well that cinches it. No more partners.
From now on I'm my own man.
A lone wolf. Sole survivor.
Look out, here comes Spike!
The the biggest, baddest mother:
Ahh! I really hope they kill each other.'
Oz: 'How is he doing.'
Doyle: 'He'll live.'
Cordy: 'Not without help. We need to get him to a hospital.'
Oz: 'I hear you. But which one? They all tend to specialize in humans.'
Doyle: 'He's right, too risky. Do you know any first aid?'
Oz: 'Basic sixth grade, but I can improvise. If we can get him some place dark, maybe I can:'
Angel: 'Turn around!'
Cordy: 'He's delirious. Ignore him.'
Angel: 'Turn around!'
Cordy: 'So you can do what? It's daylight and you're ringless. Unless you're changing the act to human torch, I don't think so.'
Doyle: 'She's right. You're death on toast, man. You're in no shape to be fighting a torture demon.'
Angel: 'God! - Okay, he's got a thing for children. Oz - turn around. He couldn't have gone far.'
Marcus: 'Hello boys and girls.'
Cordy: 'Run, now. Move your little scout legs. Now! Go! Come on!'
Doyle: 'Damn it. I'll get him.'
Oz : 'You're sure about this?'
Cordelia: 'Where is he?'
Marcus: 'What were you planing to do? Kill me?'
Angel: 'Well, after all, I promised.'
'You never cracked me, Marcus. You tried, and you failed.
Now that that's got to be torture.'
Cordy: 'Are you all right?'
Angel: 'Fine. Thanks for the help, man. You were key.'
Oz: 'You're - - incredibly pale.'
Cordy: 'Look, you should lie down. We should take you home.'
Doyle: 'Just give him a minute.'
Oz: 'He's very pale. Paler than most people.'
Doyle: 'So how long has it been between sunsets?'
Angel: '200 years, give or take.'
Doyle: 'Well you got to be feeling pretty damn good then, huh? I mean this ring - changes everything, don't it? Yeah, it's spectacular, I know. But I do promise that there will be another one exactly like it tomorrow.'
Angel: 'Not for me.'
Doyle: 'What are you saying? That the city will be hit by a meteor before tomorrow night or:'
Doyle: 'No. It's to horrible to say the other.
I can't even bring myself to say the other.'
Angel: 'I'm not going to wear the ring.'
Doyle: 'That was the other. - You got a real addiction to the brooding part of life. Anyone ever tell you that?'
Angel: 'Once or twice.'
Doyle: 'Care to explain? I mean this ring is your redemption. It's what you've been waiting for.'
Angel: 'Nah, it just looks like it.'
Doyle: 'Angel, man, think what you're saying.'
Angel: 'I have. I've thought of it from every angle, and what I figure is I did a lot of damage in my day, more than you can imagine."
Doyle: 'So what, you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet? I mean think of all the daytime people you could help between 9 and 5.'
Angel: 'They have help. The whole world is designed for them, so much that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night, - or the things that prey on them.
And if I join them,
maybe I'd stop seeing, too.'
Doyle: 'And who'd look out for all the insomniacs?'
Angel: 'I was brought back for a reason, Doyle, and as much as I would like to kid myself, I don't think it was for 18 holes at Rancho.'
Doyle: 'Oh, and that Rachel girl with the crazy boyfriend called. Said to say thanks, and that she found a little faith. Said you'd know what that means.'
Angel: 'I don't know about you, but I had a nice day. You know, except for the bulk of it, where I was nearly tortured to death.'
Doyle: 'Yeah, well, you stood up.'
Angel: 'Oh, god. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, one more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom, - everything.
How is your mom?'