FIVE BY FIVE
Marquez: "Yo ese! What the hell you"re burning there man? Smells like... Yo, you"re hanging in the wrong place man! My boys ain"t gonna be too happy when they get here and see what kind of a mess you made, man."
Angel: "Your name Marquez? Good. I hate saving the wrong guy."
"Never know who you"re gonna meet in this part of town. You want a ride?"
Driver: Careful. - Thank you.
Guy: "New in town, right? You got that new in town look. This is a dangerous part of town this time of night for a young lady, you know? Lot of people down here try and take advantage of a situation like that. - Especially if you don"t have any money - place to stay. - I might be able to help."
Faith: "I"m cold."
Guy: "Oh, yeah? Warm is my middle name."
Faith: "Now I got money - and a place to stay. I think I"m gonna like it here."
Angelus: "Can I take off this blindfold yet?"
Angelus: "Can I take off something else?"
Darla: "After I give you your present. You can never have enough of those. Come on."
"Happy birthday, Angelus."
Angelus: "She is a gypsy."
Darla: "I looked everywhere."
Angelus: "What would I do without you?"
Darla: "Whither and die. She is not just for you - I get to watch."
Angel: "The only way you"re gonna keep from getting killed is to do the right thing."
Marquez: "Right thing for who?"
Angel: "Next time they come after you I"m not gonna be there. And your friends aren"t gonna be there either. Not after being cut up and incinerated."
Cordy: "This guy is never gonna do it. What a waste of a good vision."
Wesley: "It"s going that badly?"
Cordy: "I knew it when you brought him in here yesterday. Someone with that much body art is gonna have a different definition of civic duty."
Wesley: "After we saved his life?"
Cordy: "When was the last time *you* wrote a thank-you card?"
Wesley: "Well, I have faith in Angel. If anyone can convince him to testify..."
Cordy: "Wesley, you don"t change a guy like that. In fact - generally speaking - you don"t change a guy. What you see is what you get. Scratch the surface and what do you find? More surface."
Wesley: "One could have said that about Angel."
Cordy: "Oh, please! He was cursed by gypsies. What"s Angel gonna do? Drag a bunch of them in here to shove a soul down this guy"s throat?"
Wesley: "He may be a ruffian, but he"s already got a soul, and therefore - deep down inside - an urge to do what"s right."
Marquez: "No way. I"m gone."
Angel: "Shut up and sit down."
Cordy: "I guess you"re right, Wesley. He"s just like the Dalai Lama."
Angel: "You don"t even know what you"re up against, do you? You"re gonna have to face your demons sometime."
Marquez: "What if I don"t want to face my demons?"
Angel: "Then you"ll have to face mine."
Girl: "Excuse me!"
Faith: "Okay, you"re excused."
Girl: "That"s my boyfriend!"
Faith: "Really? You have your name on him? Because I don"t see it - anywhere."
Girl: "Billy! Do something!"
Faith: "Yeah, Billy, do something - like this!"
Lindsey: "While the arguments that the district attorney here has presented are somewhat entertaining, this case hinges on the testimony of witnesses that they have been unable to produce."
Attorney: "Your honor, we can produce them if Wolfram & Hart will stop tampering with the witness."
Lindsey: "Witness tampering is a serious allegation, councilor. And I will be filing a grievance for this remark with the A.B.A this afternoon.
They have no witness. They have no case. I request a dismissal of all charges against my client, whose reputation has been irreparably damaged by these proceedings. He is a law abiding and upstanding - citizen."
Angel: "Your client really is - except for that pesky drug-dealing and murder stuff."
Attorney: "Your honor, the state calls Mr. Marquez."
Cop: Raise your right hand.
Swear to tell the truth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth?
Lindsey: "No sir. I accept full responsibility. I thought - - I thought we had done everything possible. However, I"d not foreseen the intervention. Yes sir. Angel.
I don"t disagree. He"s proven to be a costly liability. -
I can, absolutely, I can do that. Yes, sir. Good-bye. I hate failure when there is no one else to blame it on."
Lee: "I think I"ve found the solution to our problem."
Lilah: "Lee! I"ve been looking for you. You call them back and tell them that"s our drop-dead offer, and you make sure that they understand we mean literally not figuratively. How are you doing?"
Lee: "Good! You?"
Lilah: "Great. I heard you came up with a good idea. How to deal with our friendly neighborhood vampire?"
Lee: "No, I came up with a great idea. How do you find out these things so fast?"
Lilah: "Part of my job. How did you find out there was a rogue Slayer in town?"
Lee: "Part of *my* job. I"ve been reading, ah, the police reports. She"s been a - busy little beaver."
Lilah: "But you don"t know where she is."
Lee: "I will soon enough."
Lilah: "I already do. - Uh, I"ll make the contact."
Lee: "I don"t think so. It's my deal - I'll make the contact."
Lilah: "Let me think about it... - No."
Lee: "Why not?"
Lilah: "It"s your people skills - you don"t have any."
Lee: "You bitch."
Lilah: "See? If you behave I"ll let you ride in the Limo."
Cordy: "Unfortunately we - don"t really do divorce cases. - No, it"s not about the money. - Oh, - it's about that much money!
How soon can we meet?
Yeah, I know where that is. - Okay, we"ll see you there tomorrow. Thanks for calling. Bye! How"d it go?"
Wesley: "We won."
Cordy: "Gang-guy testified?"
Angel: "Stood up and told the truth."
Cordy: "What did I tell you?"
Wesley: "That he never would."
Cordy: "Well, more good news. I may have landed a new client, and here is a twist: he can afford to pay!"
Wesley: "What"s the case?"
Cordy: "I"m still in - information gathering phase. But - ah - we"re meeting him for lunch tomorrow. So, are you happy with the way things turned out? You can always tell when he"s happy. His scowl - is slightly less scowly."
Wesley: "That young man is very lucky he ran into you."
Angel: "He just needed a little guidance - a push in the right direction."
Wesley: "I wonder how Wolfram & Hart are going to push back."
Faith: "I guess we could go somewhere and talk, but I"m not much of a talker. I"m more of a doer."
Lilah: "I think you might have misunderstood my intentions."
Faith: "No, I think you misunderstood mine. I like that watch. Diamonds, right?"
Faith: "How do you know my name? I don"t think I told you."
Lilah: "We are well aware of who you are - and what you do. We know you have been experiencing some - difficulties. We think we can help bring some order back to your life."
Faith: "We do, do we? Who is we, and why do they know me when I don"t know Jack about you?"
Lilah: "Green - is my favorite color. I look good in diamonds - and I love riding in limousines."
Lee: "Faith - can we talk?"
Faith: "I like black."
Darla: "Angelus? - Are you here? Angelus?"
Angel: "Not everyone screams."
Angel: "When you kill them. Some - just stand there, - frozen... While others..."
Darla: "What are you doing? Are we playing a game?"
Angel: "The children - they usually scream."
Darla: "Hmm, yes. They sound just like little pigs. Have you brought me some? - What you don"t think I'll share? I can"t believe that you would think I"m that insensitive."
Angel: "We"ve drunk and killed for who long now? 140-odd years. We"ve drunk them all up and they"re all dead."
Darla: "Where have you been?"
Darla: "What is this? Have you met someone else?"
"No. -Let go. Let go of me! What happened to you? Angelus, what happened?"
Angel: "That gypsy girl you brought me - her people found out. They did something to me."
arla: "A spell?"
Angel: "Funny. You would think with all the - people I"ve maimed - and killed I wouldn"t be able to remember every - single - one. Help me."
Darla: "The spell - they gave you a soul. A filthy soul! No! You"re disgusting!"
Darla: "No, get away from me."
Angel: "You brought her here."
I am like you."
Darla: "You"re not like anything. Get away from me. Get out! I"ll kill you!"
Lindsey: "A felony arrest warrant from Sunnydale was issued in your name - - physical description is quite accurate. The photograph, however, is - not flattering. - There is a lot of personal stuff that is of no interest to me, but what they do fail to mention is that you are a Slayer."
Lilah: "Which is why we found you so appealing."
Lindsey: "You have a problem. We have a problem. I just had a perfectly good murder case go up in smoke and you seem to - have a certain expertise in that area. So to make a long story - less long - I think if a service is rendered - we can get you off."
Faith: "You don"t know how many man have promised me that."
Lilah: "I"m certain you won"t be disappointed in our performance."
Faith: "Who am I supposed to kill?"
Lindsey: "Please understand that we would never advocate the killing of another human being. - His name is Angel. -
He"s somewhat of a private..."
Faith: "No problem."
Lee: "Don"t you want to know anything more?"
Faith: "Yeah. Besides getting me off, how much are you going to pay?"
Lee: "It might behoove you to know more about your intended. So, before we discuss remuneration..."
Lee: "Payment. I want to make sure you understand that this firm is in no way connected to - anything you do. -
It"s my ass on the line here. I don"t want you to make me look bad."
Faith: "How do you look now?"
Lilah: "She shows initiative."
Lindsey: "Jesse, I think you better make it 3 for dinner instead of 4."
Cordy: "And he is kind of a busy man, so lunch was the only time he had. It"s not the kind of case I"d normally go after, but we"ve got to consider the bottom line."
Angel: "What kind of demons are we dealing with."
Cordy: "Well, it"s not exactly a demon thing."
Wesley: "What kind of - thing is it?"
Cordy: "It"s a kind of - husband and wife break-up thing."
Wesley: "A divorce case?"
Angel: "You"re kidding."
Cordy: "What"s wrong with a divorce case?"
Angel: "That"s not what we do."
Cordy: "According to the husband the wife is a real witch."
Wesley: "Seems a bit on the seedy side."
Cordy: "This is not seedy! He"s in government. - Just talk to him.
Oh, and we should pick up the tab for lunch. Nothing says success less than splitting the bill."
Angel: "I didn"t bring any money with me."
Cordy: "Okay, Elvis. When you are a big star you can get away with not carrying any cash. And while we"re on the subject - I think one of us should apply for a small business loan. Just to get us through the rough spots.
I meant what"s a thirty year loan to you?"
Faith: "That was so cool! This is gonna be fun!"
Wesley: "Oh my God. Faith."
Angel: "I thought she was in a coma."
Cordy: "Pretty lively coma."
Angel: "Giles said she left Sunnydale about a week ago. He described her mental state as borderline psychotic."
Cordy: "That explains her outfit."
Wesley: "This isn"t right."
Cordy: "When a whacked-out Slayer tries to kill your boss - it"s very wrong."
Wesley: "I meant Giles. Why didn"t he give me the heads-up? I was Faith"s Watcher. When she came out of the coma, Giles should have contacted me immediately."
Cordy: "Maybe he was busy trying to keep her from - I don"t know - kill everybody?"
Angel: "He didn"t know she was coming after me. He was worried about Buffy."
Cordy: "Is she okay?"
Cordy: "What can we do?"
Angel: "Help me track her down. I want you two to check police reports - beatings, killings - anything within the last week, possibly near bus stations and bars. And then you make yourselves scarce. I don"t want to give her any free targets."
Wesley: "You"ve been targeted by a psychotic! I"m certainly not going to run and hide."
Cordy: "I like the plan where I"m scarce."
Wesley: "We"ve got to band together. Strength in numbers."
Cordy: "Two is a number."
Angel: "She coming for me. I"ve got a fight coming up. I don"t want you to get in the way."
Wesley: "I thought we were a team."
Angel: "We"re not a team. I"m your boss. You go where I tell you and I tell you to lay low,"
Wesley: "Seems you"re taking this personally."
Angel: "Well, you know, she tried to shoot my own personal back, so yeah."
Wesley: "Did she do something to Buffy?"
Angel: "Giles just said it was rough."
Wesley: "I"m sorry. But if you let emotion control you right now, one of you will certainly end up dead."
Angel: "Yeah, that"s what the lady wants."
Wesley: "That"s not good enough! She"s not a demon, Angel. She is a sick, sick girl.
If there is even a chance she can be reasoned with..."
Angel: "There was. Last year I had a shot at saving her. I was pulling her back from the brink when some British guy kidnapped her and made damn sure she"d never trust a living soul."
Cordy: "Angel, it"s not Wesley"s fault that *some* British guy ruined your... - oh. Wait that was you. Go on."
Wesley: "You don"t need to."
Angel: "Let"s just get to work."
Faith: "Hey, baby! Come give us a hug."
Angel: "I was hoping you"d stop by. Always good to see old friends. What"s this? Wooden bullets?"
Faith: "Ooh, good idea! But no, this is for you. You know - I"m going to kill you slowly and inventively, so I"m gonna give you one chance to..."
Angel: "Blanks. Nice."
Faith: "You didn"t shoot to kill. We"re gonna have to up the stakes, get you in the game a little."
Angel: "What"s the game exactly, Faith? Boredom? Revenge?"
Faith: "Dude, I"m getting paid. They hate you almost as much as I do."
Angel: "Ever occurred to you this might be more fun for me?"
Faith: "You think? Because what if you kill me - and you experience that one true moment of pleasure? Oops! I"d get off on that. Go ahead. Do me.
Let"s take that hell ride together. Come on, Angel, I"m all yours! I"m giving you an open invitation. - Jeez, you"re pathetic! You and your little tortured soul, got to think everything through. Well, think fast, lover. You don't" do me, you know I"m gonna do you!"
Gosh. That one wasn"t a blank. - Let the games begin."
Lindsey: "I"m telling you, it"s a - situation we are handling "
Lawyer: "I read the file. It needs to be handled! I"ve got to jump."
"We"re in the Gruber meeting."
Lawyer: "What the hell is going on with those people?"
Angel: "I know, it"s..."
Lawyer: "I mean is this a negotiation or a cotillion?"
Angel: "That"s exactly what I was trying to tell Frank."
Lawyer: "Who"s Frank?"
Angel: "Works with Louise in contracts."
Lawyer: "Contracts - the problem is not contracts!"
Angel: "That"s what I was trying to tell..."
Lawyer: "Go. Yes. - Yes. - No, no.
Thursday! We have to close Gruber now, before the soft offer becomes hard and the stock goes..."
Angel: "Through the ceiling!"
Lawyer: "In the toilet!"
Lawyer: "Keep me in the loop, will you? I want to know the instant that they fold. - They are folding? Look, I"ve got to jump. E-mail me. Good to see you."
Angel: "You too."
Lindsey: "Don"t you have any respect for the law?"
Angel: "Nice office. Good view. Where is Faith?"
Lindsey: "Should I know what you"re talking about?"
Angel: "Your new employee."
Lindsey: "It"s a big firm. Tell you what I can do. I can give you the number for Personnel, though. I"m sure they"d be glad to handle your problem."
Angel: "You"d remember this one. Pretty, dark hair, kills things?"
Lindsey: "I assure you that we have strict hiring practices."
Angel: "So how does it work for a guy like you? - Successful lawyer in a big law firm, - company car, - nice office, bonus: - can hire a killing when ever you want. Kind of got it made, right?"
Lindsey: "Well, we"ll just add slander to breaking and entering. While we"re on the subject, I remember you throwing one of my clients through a window. Killed him if I"m not mistaken."
Angel: "Yes. I seem to remember. The window was just about that size. Hmm. Too bad the body burned up before it hit the ground. I might have needed a good lawyer."
Lindsey: "I"m sorry, we only handle a certain class of clientele."
Angel: "Oh, I"m sure that I"ve killed enough people to qualify.
Where is she?"
Lindsey: "You know a vampire can"t walk in here without us knowing it. We have a highly sophisticated security system, spent a fortune on mystical barriers and such. Nice to know our investment paid off."
Angel: "I think it was a waste of money myself."
Lindsey: "Well, one down. More on the way. And the police have been called. And this whole encounter has been visually recorded on hi-def. So, - despite the fact that I"m sure it would make an entertaining evening watching you fight for your life, - not to mention the fortune I could make off the video - I do have a dinner."
Angel: "Good to see you again, Lindsey. - We"ll do this real soon."
Lindsey: "You know, just when I think I got you figured out, you show up in a suit."
Wesley: "There is another assault just two blocks away. A fight in a bar, several arrests made, and a woman fitting Faith"s description was involved, - however not arrested."
Cordy: "She charm her way out?"
Wesley: "Apparently she managed to break a policeman"s jaw with his own handcuffs before she disappeared into the night."
Cordy: "Hmm. For Faith, that is charm."
"Phantom Dennis, let us in. It"s all right. It"s only Wesley."
Wesley: "Dennis, your ghost, I presume?"
Cordy: "Yes. He"s jealous. Don"t worry. Hell will freeze over before I have sex with him."
Wesley: "Thank goodness for small favors. - I"m going to try calling Angel again."
Cordy: "Okay. I"m going to pack a bag."
Wesley: "Cordelia, please, just a few things. We"re not going on safari."
Faith: "I"ve got a little problem. - I don"t feel Angel"s in the game. But, somehow, I feel you guys are the key. Now what can I do to *really* make him hate me?"
Faith: "Shut up, Wesley."
Wesley: "It"s not too late."
Faith: "For cappuccino? "cause it just keeps me up."
Wesley: "It"s not too late to let me help you."
Cordy: "Yes. We want to help you."
Wesley: "I realize there have been failures, on both sides. - But I also believe in my heart that you are not a bad person."
Faith: "What do you believe in your heart now?"
Alright, Wes! - My turn."
Angel: "Mia foame. (I am hungry)"
Man: "Get away!"
Woman: "Leave him alone. He is just a beggar."
Man: "Here have a pint on us."
Angel: "I don"t want your money!"
Man: "How dare you!"
Angel: "I want her."
Woman: "He is a monster! He is a monster!"
Angel: "I am a monster! I am a monster!"
Woman: "Rudolph? Are you all right? Rudolph?"
Cordy: Oh, Angel:She was already here. I didn"t know. I made - Wesley come with me, - just to get a couple of things. She was like an animal. - She said that you weren"t in the game. There was nothing - we could do."
Angel: "Take it easy."
Cordy: "I"m sorry. What about Wesley, is he okay?"
Angel: "He"s not here."
Faith: "All these little cuts and bruises - just bring out the mother in me. Come on. Now, now, don"t poop out on me, damn it! Otherwise this all just going to be over too fast, and you"ll be dead and I"ll be - bored.
Come on, Wesley! Where is that stiff upper lip?
Now, we"ve only done one of the five basic torture groups. We"ve done blunt - but that still leaves sharp, cold, hot and loud.
Have a preference?
Well, that great!
It"s always better with audience participation. May I take your order please?"
Wesley: "I was your Watcher, Faith. - I know the real you - and even if you kill me, there is just one thing I want you to remember."
Faith: "What"s that, love?"
Wesley: "You - are a piece of sh.."
Faith: "You should talk, huh? I guess I"ll just have to try a little harder."
"We"ll switch to sharp for a while."
Cordy: "On Monday, - a guy was beaten up here, his wallet and a car were stolen. He"s still in the hospital. Four blocks over - is a restaurant where they had a major knock down drag out on Tuesday. Then here another guy ran into something he referred to as "the bitch from hell," who sent him home with paramedics.
That was on Wednesday."
Angel: "This was the first. Took his wallet and keys. Is he still in the hospital?"
Cordy: "Yeah. We were just gonna go down and talk to him."
Angel: "Where does he live?"
Faith: "That"s refreshing. But I"m feeling a little cold. What do you say we warm the place up?"
"Did you ever wonder if things would have been different - if we"d never met.
What if you"d had Buffy - and Giles would have been my Watcher?
You think you"d still be here right now? Or would Giles be sitting in that chair? - Or is it just like fate.
You know, there is no choice.
You were gonna be here no matter what. - You think about that stuff? - Fate - and destiny. I don"t. Not that any of this is your own fault.
Since this may be - the last chance we will have to unload on each other, I feel that it is kind of my duty to tell you that if you"d been a better Watcher, I might have been a more positive role model!
Face it, Wesley, you really were a jerk.
Always walking around as if you had some great big stake rammed up your - English Channel.
I think I want to hear you scream."
Wesley: "You never will."
Faith: "Admit it, Wesley, didn"t you always kind of have the hots for me?"
Faith: "About time, soul-boy. Ready to play now?"
Angel: "I"m ready.
"I can"t. Oh god, I can"t."
Faith: "Okay, you showed. But how do I know you are really in this?
I mean if I kill him, would that help, or just be really funny?"
Angel: "You don"t think I know what you"re after? I do."
Faith: "You I have to kill. Wesley is just for the hell of it."
Angel: "This isn"t about Wesley. This is about you and me."
Faith: "No, baby, he"s payback."
Angel: "For what? I thought you were happy with the way you are. By the way you never told me how much I"m worth dusted, just out of curiosity."
Faith: "15 000 plus expenses."
Angel: "You"re kidding."
Faith: "Hey, I"m young, willing to work my way up."
Angel: "You feel young, - do you, Faith? - You"re looking pretty worn out to me."
Faith: "Is that all you got, vampire? Get in the game."
"Come on, Angel! I thought you were bad!"
"You can"t take me! No one can take me!"
"You"re gonna die!"
"You hear me? - You don"t know what evil is! - I"m bad! - Fight back!"
Angel: "Nice try, Faith."
"I know what you want:
...and I"m not gonna do it.
I"m not gonna make it easy for you."
Faith: "I"m evil! I"m bad! I"m evil! Do you hear me? I"m bad! Angel, I"m bad!
I"m ba-ad. Do you hear me? I"m bad! I"m bad! I"m bad. Please. Angel, please, just do it."
Angel please, just do it.
Just do it. Just kill me. Just kill me."
Angel: "Shh. It"s all right. It"s okay. I"m here. I"m right here. Shh."