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HERO

Cordy: "Okay, we fade up on an aerial shot, downtown, skyscrapers, lights, yada, yada, yada.
We hear a narrator, preferably famous - maybe that bald Star Trek guy or one of the cheaper Baldwins,
and he says: "it"s a big, bad city out there."

Cut to a woman walking down a dark, spooky street - alone.
We"ll cast some beautiful, young actress, maybe an up-and-coming starlet whose carrier is on the verge of taking off.
Anyway, she"s all nervous, right? Mucho vulnerable.
The voice guy says: "danger lurks around every corner." Boom! She"s attacked by a big, ugly goon, with a knife. She screams: "help! Is there no one to help me?"
"Well now there is someone to answer your call. He"ll protect you, catch you when you fall!
You can count on it.
And you can count on me, because I"m the Dark Avenger."
Angel: " I"m the what?"
Cordy: "The Dark Avenger."
Angel: "I"m the Dark Avenger."
Cordy: "I know, it"s perfect! We can do it ourselves on High 8. I"ll charm a post-production house into doing the effects and... Look, I know a little something about self-promotion, Angel, and I"m telling you one commercial like this could get us out of the red - or the black - or which ever one means we"re broke, because that"s us.

So what? Buffy blows into to town and puts you into a permanent funk and I"m just supposed to stand by and watch our business go belly up?"
Doyle: "He"s not entirely wrong, you know? Look, all I"m saying is advertising a superhero that can"t really go out in the daylight might raise vampire suspicions, not to mention our pesky lack of an investigator"s license."

Cordy: "And who needs a license when we have no clients?"
Doyle: "We"ll manage, princess. We always do."
Cordy: "We will if we project the right image. And now I"m suddenly thinking that Angel is all wrong for this commercial!

He is a larger-than-life character, way to Braveheart for Joe-Couch-potato to relate to. We need someone who"s - average, run of the mill, ordinary.
You"re perfect."
Doyle: "While I appreciate the compliment, it's just..."
Cordy: "Come over here into the light, and let"s see if we can create some cheekbones."

Doyle: "Cordelia, I"m not the photogenic type. Plus I get dry mouth."
Cordy: "Excuse me? This is not a negotiation. This is a necessity. Our boss is in a funk. You *know* that he"s only happy when he"s fighting evil. Now let"s drum up some!"

Doyle: "I don"t know what we need evil for when we got you right here."
Cordy: "I heard that!"

Intro

Doyle: "If you need help. Then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best! - Our rats are low."
Cordy: "Our rates!"
Doyle: "It says "rats". - Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you"re at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on.
And that"s what you"ll find here - someone that will go all the way, no matter what.
So don"t lose hope. Come on over to our offices and you"ll see that there"s still heroes in this world. Is that it?
Am I done?"
Cordy: "I don"t know. I"m not getting every man, I"m getting - weasel. We don"t want weasel?"
Doyle: "I don"t know. I think people will be pouring in as soon as they hear about our low rats. - I could take another crack at it."

Cordy: "I don"t think so."
Doyle: "Weasel factor, huh?"
Cordy: "Doyle, I didn"t mean it like that. I"m sorry. I"m just... I feel kind of hopeless with him down there doing the non-profit brooding. It"s not like he has a heart. How could it be so broken?"

Doyle: "I guess seeing Buffy again just got him where he lives."
Cordy: "That"s all very sad, but we live here too."
Doyle: "I"ll talk to him."
Cordy: "Maybe if we get him a costume!"
Doyle: "A costume?"
Cordy: "Well, the guy is a bona fide hero, would it kill him to put on some tights and a cape and garner us some free publicity?"

Doyle: "I don"t see Angel putting on some tights... Ah, now I do, and it"s really disturbing."
"Hey. Is this a private catharsis or can anyone watch?"
Angel: "What do you want?"
Doyle: "Well, there"s a girl upstairs who"s not quite sad enough to cry in my arms, but keep up the dark cloud.
I might get lucky."
Angel: "I just need some time."
Doyle: "Believe me I know. Last time I saw my ex, she was around for five minutes and I was a wreck for days. Amazing how they can do that to you."

Angel: "Buffy was here for more then five minutes."
Doyle: "Okay, 10, but who"s counting?"
Angel: "Actually she was here for a whole day and night."
Doyle: "Alright. One of us has been drinking and I'm sad to say, it"s not me."
Angel: "Who are the Oracles, Doyle? Why didn"t you tell me about them before?"
Doyle: "The Oracles? Who told you about the Oracles?"
Angel: "The first time the Mohra demon attacked it got away."
Doyle: "What first time?"
Angel: "Look, I tracked it, I killed it, some of its blood mixed with mine.
It made me mortal. That"s when you took me to see the Oracles to find out what it meant."

Doyle: "No, see, I"m going remember a trip to the netherworld of eternal watching.
That"s just not something that happens every day."
Angel: "The Oracles told me that I was released from my duty. Buffy and I were together until - we realized it couldn"t be. -
We don"t belong to ourselves.
We belong to the world of fighting. -
So, I went back to the Oracles and I asked them to turn back the clock...
as though that day had never happened."

Doyle: "Human. You were a real live flesh-and-blood human - and you and Buffy... You had the one thing in your unnaturally long life and you gave it back?!"

Angel: "Maybe I was wrong?"
Doyle: "Or maybe Cordelia was right about you being the real deal in the hero department. See, I would have chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty and honor any day of the week. I just don"t have that strength."

Angel: "You never know your strength until you"re tested."
Doyle: "Come on, you lived and loved and lost and fought and vanquished inside a day, and I"m still trying to work up the courage to ask Cordy out for dinner, not to mention the part about telling her that I"m half demon. - That should probably come first, huh?"

Angel: "Well, the Oracles said something bad is coming. "Soldier of Darkness ushering in the end of days" kind of bad."

Doyle: "So much for the security of long-term savings bonds, huh?"

Angel: "I feel something coming, Doyle. I don"t know what, but I know we"re a part of it."

Doyle: "Well, if it"s a fight they want - can"t someone else give it to them? It seems unfair, you know? You gotta save all the helpless types around here and now you"ve got to fight the apocalypse as well?"

Angel: "It"s all the same thing. Fight the good fight - whichever way you can."
Doyle: "Tell you what, you fight - and I'll keep score."
Cordy: "Angel started the day over knowing he"d remember everything that happened?"
Doyle: "That"s pretty amazing, huh?"
Cordy: "Uh, amazing that he didn"t check the stock quotes or the lotto numbers. Angel should have told us what happened.
We can"t keep secrets from each other."

Doyle: "No we can"t -
Cordy: Thanks.
Doyle: You know I"ve been doing a lot of thinking about secrets and what not. I know my marriage would have stood a better chance if me and Harriet really just - talked more, really let each other in."

Cordy: "So how is she? You two keeping in touch?"
Doyle: "She"s decided to stay in LA."
Cordy: "Oh. So, you"ll probably be seeing a lot of each other then."
Doyle: "Well, not right away. We both need to get on with our lives."
Cordy: "Getting on is good."
Doyle: "Yeah, because if I want a relationship that"s going to last, I need to put a few cards on the table."

Cordy: "Such as...?"
Doyle: "The thing of it is, - I"m a little bit more then meets the... Ow!"
Cordy: "Oh, Uh, I know this one! Ah, mask - mask head, ah, the man with two brains!"
"What ever you saw just now - did they look like they could afford to pay?"

Doyle: "Pretty low rent, even by demon standards."
Angel: "You said they were hiding. It"s a good place for it."
"Doyle."
Doyle: "Signs of life."
Angel: "I smell something."
Doyle: "Still warm. They left in a hurry."
Angel: "Not food. Fear."
"Don"t be afraid. It"s okay. We"re here to help."
Demon man: "We gave all our money to a man who promised to get us passports and safe passage on a ship. We didn"t know.
It was stupid of us. He disappeared with our money and the ship never came."

Angel: "Where were you going?"
Demon: "Briole. Small island off the coast of Equador. Others of our kind have found sanctuary there."
Angel: "Sanctuary from whom?"
Boy: "They"re close. They almost got us. We lost half of our supplies."

Elder demon: "Rieff, we have a guest. It's the promised one."
Rieff: "Terrific."
Angel: "I think there"s been some kind of misunderstanding?"
Elder: "Oh, I don"t think so. Many of our prophecies are cryptic, but on one thing they are all clear: In the final days of this century the promised one will appear and save us from the Scourge."
Angel: "The Scourge."
Rieff: "He doesn"t even know who they are. How"s he supposed to protect us from them?"
Elder: Rieff..."
Rieff: "They"re coming and no matter how many promised guys you throw at them, they"re not going to stop until every last one of us is dead. - You"re going to get us all killed."

Elder: "He"s young. I"m sorry. Excuse me."
Angel: "We need to deal with this.
They think I"m some promised savior. - What?"
Doyle: "The Scourge."
Angel: "You know them. What are they?"
Doyle: "Death."
"Who"s there?"
Lukas: "A friend."
Doyle: "I don"t have any friends."
Lukas: "All right. Maybe I"m more of a relative who"s in trouble and needs help."

Doyle: "What the hell are you talking about? And who the hell are you?"
Lucas: "My name is Lucas. I"m a Brachen demon, like yourself. My clan is from Oregon. We"ve been living in the woods there, safe - until - they came.
Not all of us escaped."
Doyle: "I don"t know what you think I can do. I"ve got problems of my own."

Lucas: "They know we"re here. They"re coming for us."
Doyle: "What are you talking about? Who"s coming for you?"
Lucas: "The Scourge."
Doyle: "Who the hell is that?
An army of pureblooded demons. They have a big hate-on for us mixed heritage types. Very into pedigree.
They hunt us down like animals."
Angel: "No one fights back?"
Doyle: "Sure they do. All the time. You can kill them, but these guys believe in what they"re doing. They"re ready to die for the cause."
Angel: "Hard to fight fanatics."
Doyle: "More like impossible."
Lucas: "I"m not asking you to fight, just help us hide until we can get out of town."

Doyle: "You got the wrong guy, pal. You want to set up a little off-track betting then I"ve got the know-how. But demon-hiding? It"s not my line."
Lucas: "You"re one of us."
Doyle: "No, I"m not. I was raised human.
I"m not looking to explore me roots."

Lucas: "We don"t have anyone else to turn to."

Doyle: "Look, I don"t know what to tell you, man. You"re up against something real big here. Anybody that helps you - They're taking a chance. And I"m not dying to take chances."


Lucas: "Doyle, if you don"t believe that we share a common family, believe that we share a common enemy. Doesn"t that mean anything to you? Guess not."
Doyle: "I punked out. I"d only just found out about my demon side. I didn"t know what it meant. The idea of having family obligations with guys that looked like big blue pin cushions, it was just a little bit too much to take right then."


Angel: "And what happened?"
Doyle: "Damn it."
Lucas: "Believe we share a common enemy."

Doyle: "When I got the visions for the first time, I thought I was having a stroke. I didn"t know what the images meant. But I had to know if what they showed me was a dream - or real."
"It wasn"t a dream."
Angel: "You couldn"t have known."
Doyle: "These people are going to need more then their mythic promised one. The contractually-obligated 500 might be a start. You can"t fight the Scourge, Angel."

Angel: "It won"t come to that, because we"re going to get them out of here."
Cordy: "Hello? - Angel? - Hello? While this may look like a - popular brand of breath freshener it really a cunningly disguised demon repellent!"

Demon: "Wintergreen."
Doyle: "Cordy, it"s okay. We"re here to help them."
Cordy: "Oh. Oh, hi! Where"s Angel?"
Doyle: "He"s trying to secure documents to get them out of the country. Did you get the truck?"
Cordy: "Yes! It"s out front. Hey, Doyle, you did notice that these folks are demons."

Doyle: "Yeah, I know that. That doesn"t make them bad people."
Cordy: "Excuse us a sec? Mission statement check: aren"t we supposed to be battling the forces of darkness?"
Doyle: "They"re not forces of darkness. They"re half-human, and they"re in trouble. Now, we don"t have a lot of time. Angel wants you to go down to the LA harbor, pier 12, slip 4, the Quintessa. Use Angel"s name. He knows the Captain."
Cordy: "So, we"re booking them on a cruise?"
Doyle: "Basically, yeah."
Cordy: "I"m guessing not Carnival."
Doyle: "The guy runs a freighter.
He owes Angel some money. He does this, they"re even."
Cordy: "Ho, ho, hang on! This guy owes Angel money? Why aren"t we collecting it?"

Doyle: "Cordy, oppressed demon people here, not getting any safer!"

Cordy: " So, we"re sending them on a cruise, and we"re paying for it?"
Doyle: "Please. Just do it? We need to know the ship is ready before we can move everyone."
Cordy: "Bad things are coming aren"t they?"
Doyle: "Very bad things."
Cordy: "I"m on it."
Doyle: "Just give me a call on the cell the minute it's done."
Cordy: "Okay."
Harbormaster: "I could get into a hell of a lot over trouble over this."
Angel: "Not as much as if you don"t."

Harbor Master: "Big Randy is my brother. I look the other way once in a while on some of *his* shipments. It"s because he"s family. It"s not because of the money."
Angel: "Family is important."
Harbor Master: "You"re not going to pay, are you?"
Angel: "I"m not going to pay."
Harbor Master: "So this is just extortion."

Angel: "Big Randy told you about me, right? You know what I am."
Harbor Master: "He said you bit him?"
Angel: "No, I never bit him."
HarborMaster: "So you don"t..."
Angel: "I wasn"t hungry."
Harbor Master: "So, what do you want the documents to say?"
Angel: "Certify that the ship is carrying an inspected cargo of medical waste. No one looks inside that ship or stops it from leaving harbor. - If they do, - I"m going to feel that it"s your fault. Then look for me to get a little bit peckish."

Harbor Master: "Have a nice trip."
Demon: "We don"t have time for this. What"s wrong with that boy?"
Doyle: "What is it?"
Demon: "Rieff. He took off. He does this every time. He"ll be back."
Girl: "No he won"t. He says there isn"t any promised one. He wasn"t going to stay here and get killed with the rest of us.
We"re not going to get killed, are we?"

Doyle: "No, no one"s going to get killed. Cordelia is going to call. When she does, clear out and go to the ship. If you"re not here when I get back, I"ll bring the boy to you there. Hey, - do you know where he went?"

"Rieff! Wait. Wait. You"re fast."
Rieff: "I"m walking. You"re just old."
Doyle: "Yeah, okay. You know what, we ought to go. Angel"s got a way out, a ship."
Rieff: "Great. Have fun. Take some Dramamine."
Doyle: "You"re not coming with?"
Rieff: "You can"t make me."
Doyle: "You"re right. You"re old enough. It"s your choice."
Rieff: "Right. A choice. Where do I want to be hated? You wouldn"t get it. You"re passing. My mother was the same way.
You can walk down the street.
She took me out with her one day. I was so excited. Just out in the neighborhood with all the other kids. Guess what day it was? What day was it?"
Doyle: "It was Halloween."
Rieff: "So that"s my choice: I can be hated by humans because their scared of me, or by pure-bloods who want to kill me.
It"s so easy, it"s not much of a choice."

Doyle: "Seems to me your family is one place where you know you belong. Hey, I bet you that little girl is going to miss you."


Rieff: "Yeah, well, she"s dead by now. - Or might as well be. They"re coming again. I can feel it."
Doyle: "It"s going to be different this time."
Rieff: "Why? Because your friend is the promised one? So you know it"s not true."

Doyle: "No, I don"t. I don"t know anything about your people"s myths and legends. But I do know Angel, and he"s the genuine article."
Rieff: "My hero."
Doyle: "Yeah, that"s exactly what he is. And your people can call him "the promised one" or the "dark avenger", what does it matter?"

Rieff: "It matters because it"s a lie!"

Doyle: "They put their faith in something, Rieff. You don"t have to if you don"t want to. Maybe Angel doesn"t know what he"s doing. It"s possible. But the other option: losing yourself somewhere, hoping it all goes away, I *know* that never works. How about we go find your family?"

Cordy: "Well, it"s not exactly the Love Boat, is it?"
Captain: "Sorry. We don"t haul people. We haul cargo.
It"s never complained."
First mate: "We could bring in some blankets or something. How many are we talking?"

Cordy: "Oh, - about 20? Some are short people, you know, children?"
Captain: "It won"t be the most comfortable thing in the world, but we"ll get them where they"re going."
Cordy: "We"ll take it."
Rieff: "Hey. This way."
Doyle: "Huh?"
Rieff: "I thought all Brachen demons had a good sense of direction."
Doyle: "Yeah and we"re all pretty good at basketball, too."
Rieff: "What? They"re here."
Doyle: "Come on, let"s go!"
"In here. Careful. Sit tight."
Soldier: "Destroy it all!"
Rieff: "Doyle."
Doyle: "Stay here. You understand?"
Soldiers: Get him!- There! Go, go!
Here"s one! Kill him! Take your squad on
the east side, move!
Doyle: "They"re coming."
Angel: "Good."
Soldier: 'They were here, Sir, recently."
Commander: "And when the lights go out, where do the vermin go? Keep looking."
Angel: "For what? For this? Back off! It"s my kill."
Commander: "Vampires don"t feed on demon blood."
Angel: "Oh please! I wouldn"t eat this. He reeks of humanity."
Commander: "You"re one to talk, vampire. Yours is the lowest of all the half-breeds."
Angel: "You think I don"t know that? You think I don"t smell the humanity inside me day and night - polluting me?"

Doyle: "Please, please don"t!"
Angel: "Shut up!"
Soldier: "A half-breed who murders other half-breeds. Always charming."
Angel: "I know who you are. I want to join you."
Commander: "Join us? You wish to die?"

Angel: "I need to be cleansed and only you can show me the way. You can kill me if you want you"d only be freeing me.
But I can kill half-breeds for you and believe me I can do it faster and better then anyone you got. I know their minds, where they hide, how they think. I can help you."


Commander: "Maybe you can."
Soldier: "Clear the area. Bring him. Faster! Move!"
Doyle: "I think I hated that plan."

Rieff: "Can all Brachen demons do that?"

Doyle: "We"re stronger in demon form. But I generally prefer to pass as human."

Rieff: "Where is everyone?"
Doyle: "Right where they"re supposed to be, I hope."
Captain: "Look, I"ve got my clearance from the Harbor Master. We have to go now. I have a schedule to keep."

Cordy: "I"m sure they"ll be here, Captain. Just a few more minutes."
Captain: "Angel said he"d cut my debt in half if I do him this favor, right?"

Cordy: "Yep, half, that"s what he said. Big whopping 50% - quite a deal."

Captain: "He takes 60% off, then I"ll wait."

Cordy: "You drive a hard bargain."
Demon: "I can"t thank you and your friends enough. I"m sure Rieff is in safe hands."

Cordy: "Doyle will get him here."
Demon: "Yea, he is a good one. He understands our suffering."
Cordy: "We both do."
Demon: "I apologize. I didn"t mean to say that you didn"t. It"s just more familiar to Doyle.
He has to live with a certain amount of persecution. You always do when you"re half demon."

Cordy: "Demon?"
Commander: "The other day I was asked: "Why hunt the mongrel?
Doesn"t its very inferiority guarantee that it poses no threat?
Won"t it die of it"s own innate mortal stupidity?

Let me tell you, even the smallest of vermin need be addressed.

Half-breeds. Worse. They keep crossbreeding. Forever diluting our precious demon blood with *their* weak simpering humanity."
Soldiers: "Yeah!"
Commander: "If we allow this to happen, it"s as good as giving up the call to evil altogether. It"s as good as becoming human ourselves.

Well, I say NEVER!
I say we will not stop until each and every half-breed is erased and our purity rules this planet!
We will not stop because the Higher Order demands it!
Now, - this very evening we take a giant step towards our goal.
Tonight the half-breeds that have eluded us will be destroyed.
And we know just where to find them, thanks to this good man first mate on the ship they think means salvation, not annihilation.

He comes to us for money, but he is a brother to our cause, and we invite him - to witness the power of the beacon."

"Tonight the Lister half-breeds will..."

Soldier: "Incredible, isn"t it? He makes it all so clear."
Angel: "Yes, things are very clear."
Commander Tiernan: "The Listers, along with any creature contaminated by human blood, will perish the moment the cleansing light touches them.
When the beacon reaches critical mass and detonates its reach will extend a quarter mile in every direction.
Want to see how it works?
A fitting end for a sorry mutation. Go now and deliver this, our message! Our victory depends on it!"

Cordy: "Someone"s coming."
Demon: "Do you have any idea what you put us through? We got to get out of here!"

Rieff: "I"m sorry."
Demon: "lets get you down with the others."
Rieff: "Thanks."
Doyle: "What?"
Cordy: "You"re alive!"
Doyle: "And you"re not happy?"
Cordy: "We were worried."
Doyle: "Oh. Well, its all going to be okay. What was that for?"
Cordy: "Why didn"t you tell me that you were half demon? I thought we agreed that secrets are bad!"
Doyle: "I wanted to tell you. I was afraid. I thought if I did, you"d reject me."

Cordy: "I"ve rejected you way before now! So, you"re half demon. Big Whoop!
I can"t believe you"d think I"d care about that.
I mean, I work for a vampire! Hello?"


Doyle: "It"s true. I just..."
Cordy: "What do you think I am, superficial? - So you"re half demon. That"s so far down the list, way under "short" and "poor"! - Is there anything else I should know?"

Doyle: "The half demons thing is pretty much my big secret."
Cordy: "Good. That"s out. It"s done. - Would you ask me out to dinner already?"

Doyle: "Yeah? Cordelia. Would you like..."
Cordy: "It"s Angel!"
Angel: "We have to shove off now."
Cordy: "What"s going on?"
Captain: "I can"t! I can"t find my first mate!"

Angel: "You won"t. We"re going. Get to the bridge."
Doyle: "Angel, they"re here." Angel."
Angel: "Get below. Lock the doors."
Doyle: "What?"
Angel: "Move! Now! Stay with the others."

Doyle: "Lock the doors. The Scourge is here. We"re shoving off. We"re gonna make it."
Commander: "You lied to us, half-breed."
Angel: "You catch on quick, football-head."

Tiernan: "Kill him, painfully."
Angel: "It"s going to detonate. Get out! Everybody out!"
Tiernan: "Welcome to a cleaner world. Soon only the pure bloods will be left standing."
Angel: "Actually, pure boy You"ll be on your ass."
Doyle: "Ahh! They"re locked from the outside. We"re trapped!"
"What does that thing do?"
Angel: "Its light kills anything with human blood."
Doyle: "Well, it"s getting brighter and that doohickey - it"s fully armed, isn"t it?"
Angel: "Almost. If I pull the cable, I think I can still shut it off."

Doyle: "How"re you gonna do that without touching the light?"
Cordy: "Angel, that"s suicide."
Doyle: "There"s got to be another way."
Angel: "It"s all right."
Cordy: "No!"
Doyle: "The good fight, yeah? - You never know until you"ve been tested. - I get that now."
Too bad we"ll never know if this is a face you could learn to love."
Angel: "Doyle. Doyle. Doyle! Doyle! NO!"
"No!"
Doyle: "If you need help. Then look no further. Angel Investigations is the best! Our rats are low."
Cordy: "Rates!"
Doyle: "It says "rats". - Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you"re at the end of your rope you need someone that you can count on. And that"s what you"ll find here - someone that will go all the way, no matter what.
So don"t lose hope. Come on over to our offices and you"ll see that there"s still heroes in this world. Is that it? Am I done?"


The end
 
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