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HEARTTHROB

Cordy: "I can understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it"s broken when it"s not. I don"t understand people who worship demons."

Gunn: "Yeah. Especially Lu-rite demons. The stink on that thing... If you"re a prince of the underworld, bro, take a Jacuzzi every once in a while."
Wesley: "It"s sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn"t a Lu-rite. It was a Mu-rite, a sub-species of the Lu-rite. The male sports a small, tell-tale fin just behind the third shoulder."

Gunn: "So glad to know we"re not the sad people obsessed with demons."
Wesley: "We have to be a little obsessed. We"re detectives that specialize in these things."
Cordy: "And we"re not sad."
Wesley: "No. No, we"re a happy and rambunctious lot if I ever saw one. Not going to humor me even a little, are you?"

Cordy: "Hu-uh."
Wesley: "I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our - social lives. But we have to. Our work demands it."

Gunn: "True. I mean, who has time for love when you"re out there doing it with the demons? Didn"t that come out sad and wrong? - I need to get out more. Speaking of: anyone talked to Fred lately?"


Cordy: "Not talked. Glimpsed. She pokes her head out of her room every once in a while."

Wesley: "Nice girl."
Cordy: "Nice, but not making the giant strides towards mental health. She"s been hibernating up there for three months now."

Wesley: "Ever since Angel went away. She"s become quite attached to him."
Gunn: "Angel groupie. I get that. He rescued her from Pylea."
Cordy: "I miss Pylea."
Wesley: "I would think you might. You were there a week, they made you queen. Fred was there for five years. She was a slave, a runaway, they nearly chopped her head off.
All those years she spent hiding out alone in that cave."

Gunn: "She survived. Girl"s strong."
Cordy: "The girl"s trading one cave for another. How strong is that?"
Wesley: "When Angel comes back..."
Gunn: "When *is* he coming back anyway?"
Cordy: "As soon as he works through his grief a little."
Gunn: "A little? Buff..."
Cordy: Don"t! Say the "B" word."
Gunn: "The "B" word was the love of his life, and he"s,.what? 250? That isn"t a short life. That grief work is gonna take more than a vacation in Sri Lanka."

Wesley: "It isn"t a vacation. It"s a spiritual retreat at a monastery."
Gunn: "Hmm. Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere. There"s a party! He should have got hammered and went to Vegas just like I told him."
Wesley: "He doesn"t need a lap dance. He needs some peace and quiet to work through this."
Man: "What happened?"
Angel: "Demon monks. I should"ve gone to Vegas."

Intro

Cordy: "So, whose turn is it to set the traps?"
Wesley and Gunn: "His."
Cordy: "You guys amaze me. You"ll fight hell-beasts, but you"re scared of rats."

Gunn: "Man, I hate rats. With their little beady eyes..."
Wesley: "...and their beady teeth."
Gunn: "And their little tails all woosh, woosh."

Cordy: "Well, aren"t you two just the biggest scardies I ever saw..."

"You"re back."
"You guys, he"s back!"
Angel: "Wesley."
Wesley: "Welcome home."
Gunn: "Hey, what"s up man?"
Cordy: "So, I hope you had a good retreat, all peaceful and meditate-y."

Angel: "Sure, until the monks turned out to be life-sucking Shur-hod demons."

Wesley: "Oh..."
Gunn: "Vegas."
Angel: "Yeah."
Cordy: "Well, the point is, you worked on things. It wasn"t like a holiday, where you come back home to your friends, you know, with some small mementos of your trip..."

Angel: "Fishing for gifts?"
Cordy: "Yes!"
"Oh - a - small - human head!"
Gunn: "Cool!"
Cordy: "Oh! Oh, my gosh, it"s gorgeous!"
"And look how it brings out my breasts! You know, you were all thinking it! Thanks."

Wesley: "Uh! Sixteenth century! Angel! Murshan Dynasty? I"ve always wanted one of these! I didn"t think you... Oh, I can"t wait to kill something with this! Any visions brewing?"

Angel: "The place looks good. How"s Fred?"

Cordy: "Good! She"s doing well."
Angel: "Hasn"t come out of her room yet, huh?"
Cordy: "Not what you"d call frequently. We, we sent up a lot of tacos."
Angel: "I"ll settle in and check up on her. You guys can bring me up to date. - It"s really good to see you guys."

Gunn: "Thanks for the head, bro."
Wesley: "He seems better than when he left."

Cordy: "Uh-huh."
Fred: "Listen. Listen. Listen."
"Oh. Hi! How are you? I"m just fine. Doing real good here, no need to worry about me, but thanks for checking!"

Angel: "It"s me, Fred."
Fred: "Oh, Angel."
"Hi! Hey! You"re... Well, hi there!"
"It"s good to... Did you have a nice... Oh, here, let me make some room!"
Angel: "I can"t come in."
Fred: "Of course not. You"re worn from your trip. You go rest. We"ll catch up later."

Angel: "Fred, I wanna talk to you, I just can"t come in unless you..."
Fred: "I invite you. Instead of being rude! Oh, come in. Come in."

Fred: "It"s just a smidge of vampire in you as far as I"m concerned, but the universe has rules. I"m a great believer in rules, and theorems, formulas..."
Angel: "I get that."
Fred: "Aphorisms leave me a little dry."
Angel: "How are you?"
Fred: "Yeah. - Good. - Everything"s pretty much like when you, you know, went away on your trip."
Angel: "Sorry I left so suddenly. I just..."

Fred: "Hey, no, you had things you had to take care of. And it"s not like I need a babysitter or... You"re sticking around *now*, right?"

Angel: "Yeah, I am."
Fred: "Oh good!"
Angel: "Listen, listen, listen... What are you listening for?"
Fred: "The click. - When it all comes together and makes sense. There"s like a click in your brain and then you understand things again."

Angel: "Oh. What happens if you run out of wall space before you get the click?"

Fred: "I don"t know."
Angel: "Fred, I know you spent... five years in a place where humans could only be slaves or fugitives. I know that wasn"t a picnic for you. But you"re home now. You"re safe. You can come out of your room. - I know that it"s gonna take some time."

Fred: "Time. I have a whole treatise on that. It seems to take a lot of it to do just about anything these days."

Angel: "Fred. Fred. You don"t have to write absolutely everything down."
Fred: "Oh, right. God, I should write *that* down."
Angel: "You just... come on... you just need to take some small steps. Hmm? Like, uhm, coming downstairs and hanging with us for a while. What do you say? There"s nothing to be scared of. You"re safe here in the hotel."

"Hold that thought!"
"Easy. What is it? What did you see?"
Cordy: "A bunch of vampires - and - they"re crashing a party. They"re killing people."
Angel: "Where?"
Cordy: "Wilson College. Bonner Hall. Room nine eighteen."
Angel: "Room nine eighteen!"
Cordy: "They"re gonna take hostages. Watch out for the blonde. She"s the worst!"
Angel: "Are you alright?"
Cordy: "Yeah. Fine. I"m fine. Go. Go!"
Gunn: "So much for inviting everyone.

Angel: "Some of them are still alive."
Wes: "There"s been an accident. We need two, maybe three ambulances. Wilson College, Bonner Hall, Room nine eighteen.
Hurry.

Angel: "They"re heading east on sixth street. Take the car."
Gunn: "What are you gonna do?"
"Oh."
Bobby: "Please."
Elisabeth: "Hmm?"
Bobby: "Please don"t hurt her."
Elisabeth: "You love her? You"d do anything for her. What if - we just kill her and let you go? Hmm? Come on now. Life"s about making choices. - You or her, what"s it gonna be?"
Bobby: "Her. - Take her. God, I..."
Elisabeth: "Gee. Bobby, you call that love? We get home I"ll show you what love is."

Angel: "Run!"
Elisabeth: "Angelus?"
Cordy: "Oh. Too bright, too bright!"
"Oh, thank you, Dennis. - How"d I ever live without a ghost?"
"Hot. Really hot. Please."

"Ahh. These visions are killing me. They"re getting worse every time."
"Oh, Dennis, what"d I do without you?"
"No."
Darla: "Young love."
Angelus: "Give it a century."
James: "A century? A mere hundred years?"
Elisabeth: "I would need a thousand just to sketch the perfect plane of your face."
James: "I would need ten thousand just to name the color of your eyes."

Angelus: "They"re green, but take your time. In fact, don"t. We have a ship to catch and Holtz may not be far behind."

Elisabeth: "You know neither poetry nor love, Angelus."
Darla: "He knows other things. Marvelously vile and ripping things. Didn"t we eat a poet in Madrid?"
Angelus: "Troubadour."
James: "Everything"s closed! Pity. I wanted to spend some of the count's gold on you."
Angelus: "We"ll need it for the voyage."
Elisabeth: "The count DeLeon was a little rich for my blood. I"ll be full for a week!"

Angelus: "The fire was excessive."
James: "Of course it was. We burned his villa to the ground!"
Elisabeth: "We left a mark, made a statement!"

Angelus: "Ah, a statement as in "here, we are, Holz. Please, hunt us down.""
James: "Ah, who cares about Holtz?"
Darla: "You would if you knew him. He"s killed scores of us. Hunted Angelus and I across half of Europe. God, he follows us to Morocco, what then? The new world?"

James: "I say we stay and fight the bastard."

Angelus: "Yeah, but you"re an idiot."
James: "I don"t believe he"s the most formidable vampire killer in the world. None lives to tell the tale and all. *You* lived to tell the tale."

Elisabeth: "I heard he trapped you both in a barn and *you* fled, leaving him to die."

James: "It"s not true."
Angelus: "It"s entirely true. She hit me with a shovel, wished me luck and rode off on our only horse."

Darla: "Life is full of surprises."
Angelus: "Ah, life is boring. You"re full of surprises."
Darla: "Of course when you finally did catch up with me in Vienna I had to pay for my sins, again and again."

Angelus: "Hmm, can you even begin to fathom the things that we did? Of course not. You"re in love."
"Let"s not dawdle, children."
Elisabeth: "It"s so pretty."
James: "No it"s not."
Elisabeth: "James!"
James: "Not as pretty as it"s going to be..."
"When it"s worn by the prettiest one of all."

Elisabeth: "I adore it. I"ll *never* take it off!"

Angelus: "And this is what love gets you."
James: "Elisabeth, you and Darla get to the ship, we"ll join you there. Let"s give them a rout, what do you say Angelus?"
Angelus: "I"d say you"re an idiot, but I"d just be repeating myself."
James: "Come on you bloody frogs! I broke the window and I"ll break your skulls! See, all you have to do is stand up to them. What are you afraid of?"

Angelus: "Not us."
"Hope she treasures that locket."
Gunn: "Then what?"
Angel: "Huh?"
Gunn: "What happened with Holtz?"
Angel: "Oh, that"s another story."
Gunn: "We got time."
Wesley: "I"m not sure we do."
Cordy: "No, because James and Elisabeth had the big, forever love. If he"s still around and he finds out who killed her..."

Wesley: "He"s gonna want revenge."
Angel: "*If* he"s still around and if they"re still in love. That was a long time ago."

Cordy: "Yeah, two hundred plus years and the girl is still wearing the locket."
Wes: "Gunn and I"ll hit the streets, see what our sources can tell us."
Cordy: "Uh-huh. See? We have sources now."

Angel: "Oh, you"re almost like real detectives now."
Gunn: "Hey!"
Angel: "Just kidding. You should probably check it out. - James really lived for that girl."

Cordy: "Yeah."
Vamp: "We did everything we could, but they were... He was too much for us."
James: "Angelus."
Vamp: "Yeah. One of our own hunting us down. It"s sick!"
James: "How is this possible? The Angelus I knew..."
Vamp: "He"s not the same. Gypsies cursed him with a soul a hundred years ago or so. He"s got a business here in LA. He kills us for money."
James: "She"s gone."
Vamp: "It was horrible. She was bringing you two ripe and rosy humans and he just - flew out of the sky and..."
James: "And you ran."
Vamp: "No, I fought - until I saw it was hopeless. I thought you"d want to know how it happened, who did it."

James: "And now I do."
Vamp: "You want to be alone."
James: "No. - I want to die."
Angel: "What?"
Cordy: "What?"
Angel: "What do you want to say?"
Cordy: "Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna..."
Angel: ""cause I know you?"
Cordy: "Well, it"s really - none of my business."
Angel: "And that always stops you."
Cordy: "Actually, it is my business, *our* business, because we"re trying to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and - anyway, I don"t like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don"t think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death."


Angel: "I don"t."
Cordy: "Good. Glad to hear it."
Angel: "I didn"t even know who she was when I killed her."
Cordy: "Not her! - Angel..."
Angel: "Oh... you - you want to talk about..."
Cordy: "She was the love of your life and she died."
"And - you weren"t there when it happened. You couldn"t help her fight. You couldn"t save her. - You couldn"t die with her."

"This is gonna be one of those talks where I do all the talking, isn"t it? Well, I"m not gonna pry. It"s not my style. Okay, it"s totally my style, but I can tell that I"m not getting anywhere right now. But you have to tell me one thing. You owe me this much. What the hell happened with Holtz"

Holtz: "Where is she?"
Angelus: "How"s your health there than, Holtz? Mine is grand, thanks for asking."
Holtz: "Where is she?"
Angelus: "He wants Darla. Bit of a thorn in his side. What she and I did to his family... Tasty lot, especially the little ones. Your wife, she kept repeating on us. Of course, you know, I repeated on her a few times myself."


Holtz: "There are worse things than death, Angelus. I can keep you alive for months, years, if I have a mind to. Now. You *are* going to tell me where she is."
Angelus: "Lord, yes, I"m gonna tell you. Who"s arguing? I don"t want to suffer needlessly. She"s with his lass."
James: "Shut your mouth, you bloody coward!"

Angelus: "Hey, he"s in love. It"s all very passionate and befuddlin". Tell you what, how about I give you him and the women? - They"re down at the docks."
James: "I"ll kill you!"
Holtz: "Kill them!"
"Stop them! Stop them, they are getting away!"

Angelus: "I think we lost them."

James: "I"d kill you where you lay if I didn"t have to get to Elizabeth."

Angelus: "Excuse me, I"m laying here with numerous arrows in me, saving your life."
James: "I"ll be sure to tell Darla the utter lack of concern you had for her."
Angelus: "Buy her a hat. She loves hats. - Why are people always running off and leaving me? Am I a bad bloke? - I don"t think so. Not once you get to know me. Oh. I really need a doctor."

Nurse: "Wait a minute! You can"t go in there! He"s sloughing!"
"Dr. Gregson, I tried to tell him!"
Doctor: "It"s alright, Sandy. I go through this every month. Just like a woman. so. I gather this is a matter of some urgency."

James: "I need it."
Doctor: "It?"
James: "The cure."
Doctor: "You"re aware of the price? It"s a steep one."
James: "I"ve already paid it."
Doctor: "Alright then. Sandy, lets prepare the patient."
"Now, James, this shouldn"t hurt too much."

Lorne:"I left my heart in San Francisco"

Gunn: "He said he had something?"
Wesley: "That"s what he said."
Gunn: "When"s he gonna show?"
Wesley: "Any time now."
Demon: "You youngster wanna button it up? I"m trying to enjoy the show here. - See, that"s real singing there. That"s *real* music."

Gunn: "Okay, pops."
Demon: "What do you know?"
Merl: "I"m not dealing if the bloodsucker is around."
Wesley: "Angel"s not here."
Merl: "Good. He"s always beating me up, or hanging me upside down, and he never pays up like he"s supposed to."
Jeez, if I could have made a living in Akron I never would have come back to this smog pit."

Gunn: "Tick, tock, Merl."
Merl: "Yeah, well, this thing took a little more leg work than I estimated. The price is gonna change."
Wesley: "Really?"
Merl: "Yeah."
Wesley: "Alright."
Merl: "Hey!"
"Hey, hey, hey! - This guy James you"re looking for, he"s alive, he"s in town, and he knows what Angel did to his heartthrob. He"s out for blood."
Angel: "Yeah, do that. I"ll cover this end."
Thanks.
Cordy: "What"s up?"
Angel: "He"s alive. Wes and Gunn are gonna track him down."
Cordy: "What if they can"t?"
Angel: "Doesn"t really matter. "cause I know where he"ll be headed."
Cordy: "Here. For you."
Angel: "I want you to go home while it"s still light out and stay there."
Cordy: "No."
Angel: "Yes!"
Cordy: "Hm-mm."
Angel: "Where"s my hurling ax? This is all different!"
Cordy: "I moved some things to the cellar while you where gone. They were dust catchers!"
Angel: "Go home."
Cordy: "I"m sticking with you!"
Angel: "I appreciate your courage, but I don"t wanna see you get hurt."
Cordy: "Well, I don"t either! I go home, he"ll come after me because I"m home alone. That"s what they do, they come after you when you"re alone. Oh, sure, Cordy, go home! Be a hostage with the torture and the fear and the tort..."
Angel: "Cordy! Will you, just once, do what I tell you without arguing about everything, okay? Hurling ax. Basement?"

Cordy: "I"m not arguing! I just know I"d be a lot safer by your side rather than all alone at home."
James: "Why"d you do it?"
"Because I had something you could never have?"
Angel: "Get back!"
Fred: "Angel? - I thought I heard company. I came out of my room. Small steps - like you said."
Angel: "Go back to your room and stay there!"
Fred: "Okay then."
Merl: "I don"t know where he is now, but I know where he was earlier. Dr. Gregson"s."
Gunn: "What kind of doctor is that?"
Lorne: "A demon kind. Slod demon."
Wesley: "Slod demon? What"s he do?"
Lorne: "He"s a collector."
Angel: "I told you to..."
Cordy: "Shut up and stake him!"
"Oops."
James: "You never loved anyone - or anything. Go to hell."
Angel: "It"s alright. It"s alright. It"s over."

Cordy: "Ah, over in what sense?"
"Ah, shouldn"t he be on fire?"
Angel: "Let"s get out of here."
Cordy: "My coat. It"s stuck."
Angel: "Leave it."
"Go that way."
Cordy: "Where are you gonna go?"
Angel: "Go!"
"Cordy! This way. Hurry up!"
Cordy: "Alright, I"ve been doing this for a while. Don"t stakes through the heart and sunshine kill you guys?"
Angel: "Sh! He seems to have become..."
Cordy: "...invincible?"
Angel: "Let"s not exaggerate."
Cordy: "The ring of Amara, when you had that you were invincible. Does he have a ring?"

Angel: "No."
Cordy: "Hmm. - Did the Amara people make cufflinks or belt buckles?"
Angel: "There was only one."
Cordy: "And you had to smash it!"
Angel: "Why don"t we recriminate later, okay?"

Cordy: "Yes."
Angel: "Now be quiet. I think he took the bait."

Cordy: "Earthquake!"
Angel: "Subway!"
Cordy: "Okay, just subway."
Angel: "Jeez!"
Cordy: "Sorry, sorry, cell phone."
Wesley: "Cordelia, is that you? Can you hear me?"
Cordy: "Huh? What? Say that again?"
Wesley: "There is something you have to know about James."
Cordy: "Oh. He"s invincible, is he? He went to a what? Slog demon? What"s that? some kind of doctor demon that collects rare organs. Cut out his heart?
Absolutely can not be killed. Wait. What? - How long? Six what? What? Hello? No signal. Okay. The guy"s invincible, but it only lasts for so long then he dies."

Angel: "How long?"
Cordy: "He said... I don"t know. Six minutes, hours, weeks. I hate these. Come on, give me a signal!"
Angel: "That"s good news. So all we have to do is, is wait him out."

Cordy: "Right. So we just wait here until we"re sure."
Angel: "Cordy, up here!"
Cordy: "What a creep."
"Should we get off at the next station and double back? He won"t expect that. Or should we stay put till the end of the line and put as much distance between us..."
Angel: "Shh!"
Cordy: "He couldn't possibly..."
Angel: "Get back!"
James: "Well, this is a new twist in an old snake. - Is it possible you care about someone who isn"t you?"
Angel: "Don"t worry about her."
James: "But if you"ve changed. If you aren"t the same man who screwed Darla and couldn"t care less what happened to her..."

Angel: "Where did you hear... Oh. You mean back in the day. Right."
Cordy: "He has changed. A lot. He has a soul now and he cares about people."
James: "So you might feel something when I snap her neck."
Cordy: "Well, it"s not like he"s losing sleep with the caring."
James: "Lucky me. Now I can kill the woman you love."
Angel: "No, you can"t."
James: "Are you forgetting who"s the invincible one here?"
Angel: "The woman I love - is dead."

James: "Who are you talking about?"
Cordy: "It happened about three months ago. We try not to say her name too much."
James: "*You* loved someone - with all your heart."
Angel: "Yeah."
James: "No you didn"t. - Because if you had you wouldn"t be standing here playing games with me. You wouldn"t be able to - because once she died or some bastard killed her, it would have killed everything in you."
Angel: "I wouldn"t be able to go on living."
James: "Don"t worry, you won"t. And she won"t either."
Cordy: "Angel!"
Angel: "Catch him!"
Cordy: "Catch who?"
Angel: "Come on!"
"How"s that, invincible boy, huh? - Is that your idea of love, James, hmm? It"s not real unless it kills you?"

James: "Yeah. What"s yours? It"s fun as long as it doesn"t cost me anything? - You don"t know what love is!"
"You think you won - just because you"re still alive? - I lived. - You just existed."

Cordy: "How"s Fred?"
Angel: "She"s alright, considering. We talked over what happened and I think she"ll be coming out of her room any decade now."

Cordy: "And how about you?"
Angel: "I"m o..."
Cordy: "And don"t say "okay." Angel, please. I know you. Ever since you"ve come back from your grief trip I can tell that something"s not right. And, and *obviously* it"s not. - Buffy"s - dead, and I don"t mean to diminish that. I miss her too. - I just wanna say - I know that James with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you"ll be okay."

Angel: "I am okay."
Cordy: "Then - what"s the problem?"
Angel: "That I"m okay. That losing Buffy didn"t kill me. That I could deal with it. - In all those years - no one ever mattered. Not like she did. - And now she"s gone - forever."

Cordy: "And you"re still here."
Angel: "Yeah. I just feel like I"m betraying her somehow."
Cordy: "No! If you were a loser, if you were some sick obsessed vampire, you"d go to a Snod demon, or whatever, and get your heart cut out. But you"re not! You"re a living, breathing... Well, living, anyway -
good guy, whose still fighting and trying to help people, and that"s not betraying her, that"s honoring her."

Angel: "You think?"
Cordy: "I"m Cordelia. I don"t think. I know. Okay?"
Angel: "Okay."
Cordy: "So - can we get back to work now?"

Angel: "Yeah. Sure. - There"s work?"
Wesley: "What do you know about Nester demons?"
Angel: "Well, they like to live in the walls of people"s homes. They hatch several times a year - and don"t you have to kill their queen or something?"
Gunn: "Yeah. And if you don"t they infest again, worse than ever."
Cordy: "We killed a bunch of them in Hancock Park a couple of months ago."
Wesley: "I don"t think we got the queen."
Angel: "Well, lets go find out."
Guy: "Sorry it took so long. He"s a very difficult shaman to find."
Darla: "You can go."
Guy: "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I thought - we"d have a drink - to celebrate."
Darla: "No. Thanks."
Guy: "Oh. Don"t be so shy, little one. You get to know me, I"m a very nice man. How much can - one little drink hurt, huh?"

Darla: "Depends on who"s doing the drinking."
Guy: "Hmm. I thought you might have a - surprise or two in you."

Darla: "Well, you know what they say..."
"Life"s full of surprises."

The end
 
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