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DOUBLE OR NOTHING

GUNN: It"s hopeless. Half these files I can"t even read the clients" names. What is this?
Frizzana? Frizzle-car?
What"s this say to you?
FRED: I think it"s Frzylcka. Oh, right. They"re that couple who called last week about a squatter in their lair? Wesley was supposed
to--
It was supposed to be taken care of.
GUNN: Well. Guess he was too busy stealin" the baby to--
FRED: Don"t. Okay?
LORNE: How"s it comin"? Makin" any headway
on that pending file pile?
GUNN: Some. Sorta.
FRED: There"s just so much to keep track of.

LORNE: Still, times like these, it"s good to
keep busy. Throw yourself into work.
Stay active...
FRED: Lorne, he lost the only child he"ll
ever have.
LORNE: Oh, sugar, I know.
I just wish he"d talk to us.
GUNN: Might be safer to leave him alone for
a while. Pretty sure the rage is
past, but you really wanna find out
first-hand?

FRED: I"m sure he"s not plannin" to...
...finish what he started at the hospital.
GUNN: Only "cause Wesley"s too smart to
show his face around here.
CORDELIA: We"re back! And we"re bearing gif--
What happened?
I"m so sorry.
Croupier: No more bets.
No more bets.
The wheel"s in motion.
Place a bet, place a bet.
JENOFF: Table 6, the one in blue. Palmed a
king in his left hand.
And Benny?
Just take the left hand. We can
still make money off the right.
You. Good.
Bring him in. His marker"s up.
It"s time to collect his soul.

INTRO

CORDELIA: I"m just here, okay?
GROOSALUGG: This house is thick with sadness.
LORNE: Tell me about it.
Home is where the heart is,
but these hearts are broken.
It is my deepest wish to aid my princess in her time of need. I"ve
already brought her clothing and food
for her shiv-roth with Angel.
LORNE: The Vigil of the Bereaved. Huh.
Almost forgot there was a word for it.

We can do nothing else for their pain.
Is that why you"re leaving?
LORNE: Me? No. These are... They"re not mine.
GROOSALUGG: They are Wesley"s, then.
LORNE: Groo, you might wanna try to avoid
saying the name --
MONICA: Wesley. That was it.
SYD: Don"t be ridiculous, Monica -- it
wasn"t Wesley, it was Sherman.
MONICA: You don"t even know any
Shermans. It was Wesley. Irish fellow, right?

SYD: He was English, you old bat.

MONICA: Anyway, that"s who we talked to. Is he here?
GUNN: He"s... on sabbatical.
FRED: We"re really sorry for the mix-up --
we"ll take over from here. Now, it
says in your file you have a squatter
in your lair?

SYD: Damn no-good Skench demons. They"re
all alike.
MONICA: Here we go...
SYD: A person spends his entire half-life--

MONICA: --building a lair to relax in--

SYD: --and what happens? A Skench demon
squats--
MONICA: --right down on your coffee table.
Ask me how many times I"ve had to
listen to this.
SYD: Like you ever listen.
MONICA: And you have so many interesting
things to say.
GUNN: So Skenches. I"ve heard about them.
Sorta impish kinda demon -- like a
leprechaun?
SYD: Leprechauns don"t exist, son.
MONICA: Now, Syd, don"t embarrass the lad.
SYD: Sorry, kid.
GUNN: Skenches take over a house, right?
Drive out the people who live there?
MONICA; Well God knows you can"t stay, what with the shrieking all night and the
projectile phlegm.
SYD: Only thing worse is puttin" up with
her for the last three hundred years.
FRED: You"ve been married for three centuries?
MONICA: Ever since the mitosis.
SYD: Not that I"d mind being a single-
celled organism again, if you get my
drift.
MONICA: Oh, shut up, Syd.
GUNN: I thought gettin" rid of a Skench was
pretty easy, though. Don"t you just
lop off its head?
SYD: Well, sure, if you can avoid the
phlegm.
MONICA: Syd has a phobia about phlegm.
SYD: I do not. I have a phobia about
sputum.
GUNN: Okay. Think we got everything we
need. I"ll get right over and clean
out your Skench problem today.
FRED: Thanks so much for coming. We"ll
call you as soon as it"s done.

SYD: Call me anytime.
MONICA: Oh, for cryin" out loud, Syd -- that
girl"s not a sixteenth your age.
Put your eyes back in your head.
SYD: An amoeba can dream, can"t he?
I mean it, ya doddering old coot!
Put "em back in!
GUNN: Man. You hear those two?
FRED: It"s beautiful.
All that time and they"re still in love. The way they finish each other"s insults, it"s so...

GUNN: Beautiful.
GROOSALUGG: Is there evil to vanquish?
GUNN: Thanks, bro, but I got it. Just a
little mucus demon under Alvarado and
Clark. I"ll be back soon.
FRED: Don"t forget your machete!
GUNN: Yes, dear.
GROOSALUGG: He is very fortunate to have such a woman looking after his weapon.

LORNE: I"m not touchin" that one.
There we go. Probably best to keep this stuff out of sight, just in case... Anyway.
I gotta run. I have a reading in
Topanga Canyon -- figured it"d be a
good time for housecalls, considering
the vibe around here.
Y"know... if he needs anything --

FRED: I"ll call.
FRED: Hi, Wesley.
How are you feeling?
Oh. But it"s not permanent, right?
I brought some of your stuff from the office. Things there are... well, things. Gunn and I found your notes about... ...the baby. The prophecy. You took him away "case you thought Angel was gonna kill him. You were trying to protect him. Both of them.
I just wanted you to know I understand that.
I also wanted to say -- what Angel tried to do to you was wrong, and I"m sorry.
But he was right to blame you, Wesley.
You should"ve come to us. You
should"ve trusted us instead of going
to Holtz behind our backs. You were
supposed to be our friend and you
didn"t even --
If Angel sees you again, he"ll kill
you, Wesley. This time for real.
Don"t come back to the hotel. Ever.
The prophecy was a fake. Angel was
never gonna hurt Connor. It was all
for nothing.
GROOSALUGG: Hail to you, potential client. How may I be of service?
REPO MAN: This Angel Investigations?
GROOSALUGG: It is. Are you in need of help?
REPO MAN: So you must be Angel...

The Note: Gurforg bless our home.

GUNN: Gotta be it.
Smells like old people in ----here gross!
Okay. Definitely not a leprechaun.
Must be my lucky day.
REPO MAN: Wanna bet?
What you want?
GUNN: I wanna talk to the man.
REPO MAN: You got an appointment?
GUNN: No. Got business.
REPO MAN: Over here, slick. A little touch-and-go. You packin"?
GUNN: No.
REPO MAN: He could kill you ten ways from
Sunday even if you were, but then
he"d cook me, too... You"re clean.

GUNN: Told ya".
REPO MAN: Guess not everyone"s as honest as you, bro".
GUNN: I"m not your bro".
REPO MAN: Know that. You got a name or just a "tude?
Name"s Gunn.
JENOFF: Charles Gunn if I"m not mistaken.
Man of the streets, protector of the
young and innocent. What can I do
for you, Mr. Gunn?
GUNN: I want somethin".
JENOFF: Not sure I can help.
I don"t traffic in "wants", I supply
needs. Kinda things you gotta have
right now or you"ll die. They tend
to be more valuable.
GUNN: I need it.
JENOFF: Then maybe I can assist. What is it?
Money, power, love?
Very nice. She"s a real beauty.
I can make it happen. But there"s a
cost. I guess you know that.
GUNN: Yeah.
JENOFF: It"s nothing you have to pay now, but
one day you will. The cost, Mr.
Gunn, is your future.
GUNN: What future?
JENOFF: Well, there"s that. Still, I need
you to state for the record, of your
own free will, you"re sure you wish
to mortgage your future for your
present happiness?
GUNN: I"m sure.
JENOFF: Shake on that? Good.
REPO MAN: You made a deal... ...signed a blood oath trading your soul.
You think that"s an arrangement you
can get out of?
GUNN: who said I"m trying to get out of
anything?
REPO MAN: You"re planning on giving your soul to another, aren"t you?
GUNN: What are you talking about?
REPO MAN: Some broad, you"re fallin" for her
hard...
GUNN: Fred:
REPO MAN: I don"t know, we don"t get a name, just an image. We"re professionals, we
keep an eye on the Akashic records,
think we wouldn"t know when one of
our souls was about to be transferred?
Isn"t Fred a guy"s name?
Hey, none a mine, I"m just here to
tell ya", you broke the contract.
Your soul ain"t yours to give, it"s
Mr. Jenoff"s to take.

GUNN: I gotta see him.
REPO MAN: What you gotta do is pay up. He"s not happy, now here I am talking to you.

GUNN: I"m not... I"m not the same person I
was back then --
REPO MAN: We all get older. And we all pay our debts to Mr. Jenoff.
GUNN: There must be something else.
Something else he can take.
REPO MAN: Gee, I never heard that before --
except every damn time the bill comes
due. Now listen good: you got twenty-
four hours to get your house in order
and get your ass on down to that
casino. If you"re thinkin" about
runnin" or cheatin", don"t. Cause
then we take your soul and the
girl"s, too.
GUNN: She"s got nothing to do with this.

REPO MAN: Well, you can keep it that way or you can get her killed. It"s up to you
now, Slick. See ya" tomorrow.

CORDELIA: R whooh kah bay?
GUNN: What?
CORDELIA: I said, are you okay?
GUNN: Yeah, I"m fine.
CORDELIA: Seemed kinda rude to chow down in front of Angel but I was starving so I took a little break and you are not okay, pal.

GUNN: m a little tired but --
CORDELIA: Cordelia here. I can read the misery on your face. I know what"s going on.

GUNN: You do?
CORDELIA: It"s pretty obvious. Angel lost his
son, Wesley"s... gone. And here you
are... happy as a kid in a candy store.
GUNN: I"m... happy.
CORDELIA: And wracked with guilt because of it. Well don"t be. You and Fred were
meant to be, I get that now... ... she"s a doll.
I admit I was a little slow on the
uptake. I thought she and Wes... but
the way you two look at each other,
This place could use a little
happiness right now. You and Fred
have your whole big bright futures
ahead of you and I"m here to tell
you, it"s all right to enjoy it. Life goes on.
GUNN: I should enjoy my future.

CORDELIA: I"m just sayin". If there"s one
thing I learned living on a hellmouth: every day is precious, you never know when it may be your last.

GUNN: I never figured I"d be around this
long. Or have this much.
CORDELIA: Some people never know one day of joy. You"re lucky.
GUNN: Maybe I am.
CORDELIA: So live a little. We don"t have any
pressing cases and I haven"t had a
vision in like --
Oh wait. I"m having one right now...
It"s of you and Fred taking tomorrow
off. And see, my visions -- never
wrong.Have some fun.
FRED: All right, ready? Red t-shirt, your
dark blue blue jeans, grey boots.
Was I right about any of it? Okay,
that was just a warm up:
Yellow long sleeve tee, gray cords,
tan boots.
See, record secure. Never takes me
more than twice.
Me? I just woke up.
Maybe you should come over here and
find out.
Of course, if it takes you too long....
GUNN: It won"t.
FRED: Hey. Sorry, have to cancel, somebody just walked in my door.
GUNN: He better looking than me?
FRED: Way. And...he brought me breakfast in bed!
GUNN: voila, Madame. Room service.

FRED: Cool. You didn"t cook, did you?
GUNN: Nope.
Your favorite food from your favorite
diner.
FRED: Pancakes and waffles? I"m in starch-
heaven, yu-um.
Is today special or something?
GUNN: Yup. Very special.
FRED: How come?
GUNN: Cause we have the day off.
FRED: We do?
GUNN: And we are going to spend every
minute of it having the best day of
our lives.
FRED: Well, now it"s official.
GUNN: What?
FRED: You are the best boyfriend ever.
Pancake kiss!
DOCTOR: How are we feeling today?
I know it"s been very rough but I do
have some good news. There"s no
longer any sign of infection or rebleeding in the wound and the swelling"s gone down. We can stop worrying about your airway becoming
compromised.
I"m going to release you later today.
Is there someone who can pick you up?
A friend or family member we can call?

ANGEL: I think he was gonna be left-handed.
The way he"d hold onto your fingers... his left hand always squeezed just a little bit tighter.
Kid had a grip... he was gonna be a
southpaw for sure...
You live as long as I do, eventually
you lose everyone. I"m not sayin" you get used
to it but you expect it, you deal.
But he was just...he was just a little...
You think you know something about
living, cause you have this really
long life. And that"s really all you have, in my
case anyway. Then one day you wake
up and you have something else...


CORDELIA: A future.
ANGEL: I had a son...
GUNN: Now, for out next item of pleasure:
we got movies galore. You pick --
hey, you wanna go to the twelve plex,
see every previews?
It"d be like seeing a years" worth a
movies all at once.

Somethin" wrong with the shake? It"s
your favorite, double mocha double whip.
FRED: I"m... kinda full.
GUNN: Oh my god, this is serious.
FRED: It"s just, Sixth Street tacos, fish sticks at the Pier, Dodger dogs...
GUNN: Don"t fold on me now, girl, we still
got a lot of fun to go today.

FRED: Oh... I"m for the fun... it"s just,
we have too much more of it I might
explode.
GUNN: Right. Sorry.
No more food -- but movie-club-
shopping fun still to be had -- wanna
hit the roller rink?
FRED: Charles, I think I"m kinda wiped.

GUNN: Oh.
FRED: It"s just we"ve been having so
much... fun today. Don"t you think
we should save some, before we use it
up and all the other people get
sad... "cause we took all the happy?

GUNN: Oh god. I blew it. I tried too hard.

FRED: No. It"s been like the most
beautiful wonderful day ever, aside
from the hurly burly and the knot in
my tummy. Being with you is always
special. It"s just... it"s not like
we have to cram the rest of our lives
into one single day. Right?
OH MY GOD.
You did try too hard. You haven"t
been yourself all day. You"re doin"
all this because... because something"s wrong

GUNN: Fred, no:
FRED: :something"s terribly wrong.
GUNN: No, --
FRED: Charles, do you have leukemia?
Don"t laugh at me! I see it on the
news all the time -- they"re young
and in love, their whole lives ahead
of them when tragedy strikes --
GUNN: I"m not sick.
FRED: You"re not? You promise?
GUNN: I"m not sick.
FRED: Oh thank god. I feel better. Except for the terrible knot I"ve had inside all
day --which is not the food -- it"s... us.
What"s wrong with us?
GUNN: It"s nothing.
FRED: Oh that helped.
GUNN: Maybe we should just get out of here and go to the hotel--
FRED: And maybe we should stay right here
and you should stop lying to me.
I know something"s wrong. Just be
honest and tell me. Charles:We"ll get through it together.
GUNN: No. We won"t.
FRED: What?
GUNN: This isn"t somethin" we"re gonna talk
through, you share your feelings, I
share mine, then we have a big hug.

FRED: I don"t think I like the way you"re
talking to me.
GUNN: Too bad.
FRED: Why are you... why are you being so
mean?
GUNN: I"m being honest. Isn"t that what
you want?
FRED: Yeah. Be honest. Is it me?
GUNN: Wow. You finally figured that one out.
FRED: What -- what"s wrong with me?
GUNN: Now I gotta make a list? I really
don"t have that much time.
FRED: Are you joking?
Charles... what"s happening?
GUNN: What"s happening, girl, is you and me
are over. Done.
FRED: No --
GUNN: Am I askin"? I"m tellin". I"ve had
enough.
FRED: I don"t believe you.
GUNN: Best start.
FRED: But... wait... is there someone else?
What... what"s her name?
GUNN: Her name is "I"m a real woman, not a
stick figure." Get the picture?
FRED: ...yeah.
GUNN: Good.
CORDELIA: I"m not gonna sit here and pretend that I know what you"re going
through, or that I could begin to
understand what it is you"re feeling.
The last thing you need right now is
someone saying that given time,
things will get better. The hurt
will go away. Because things won"t get better. And the hurt"s never gonna go away.
The truth is, if you lived another
two hundred years, you"d never forget
how Connor was taken from you.
And you shouldn"t. You loved your son, Angel. And you"re gonna go on loving him. And
missing him.
And you"ll go one living. You"ll do
that, too.
ANGEL: I don"t know how.
CORDELIA: You don"t need to. The "how" works itself out. Life"ll just keeping
happening. There"ll be people who
need our help -- and so we"ll help
"em. "Cause that"s what we do.
Fred?
FRED: I"m sorry. I was gonna knock but
it"s not a good time so I didn"t but
I don"t know what else to do...

ANGEL: Fred, what is it? What"s wrong?
FRED: It"s Charles. I think he"s in
terrible danger.
GUNN: I"m here to pay my bill.
CORDELIA: Wow.
FRED: I know, huh?
GROOSALUGG: I am sorry this has come to pass.
ANGEL: I"m a little confused.
FRED: About what? What was unclear?
CORDELIA: Well... upstairs -- you said you
thought Gunn was in danger.
FRED: He is!
CORDELIA: Right... and you think that be-
cause...
FRED: He broke up with me!
CORDELIA: Ah.
FRED: But not really!
CORDELIA: Oh.No?
FRED: No!
GROOSALUGG: That is good. I am most relieved.
FRED: What? No! This is worse! Much
worse! I wish he had broken up with
me!
CORDELIA: Fred, are
you sure he didn"t? I mean, those
things you said he said to you...
FRED: I know I said he said those things to
me, but he would never say those
things to me!
CORDELIA: Those things he said?
FRED: Exactly! That"s how I know he"s in
trouble!
ANGEL: So let me get this straight:
You and Gunn are dating?
FRED: NOT ANYMORE, I GUESS!
CORDELIA: Fred. Honey.
FRED: Don"t you see? He hurt me! And the
only reason he"d do that is to
protect me from something! And
whatever it is, it"s gotta be bad
because... this hurts like hell.

ANGEL: Then I guess we better help him.
We are not losing another member of
this family.
CORDELIA: Still no answer, either at his place
or on his cell.
FRED: Oh, god.
GROOSALUGG: This does not bode well.
ANGEL: Okay, then we"ll have to split up.

GROOSALUGG: To cover more ground. That is a good plan. I agree.
ANGEL: Fred and I can hit Gunn"s old gang
haunts, see if maybe they"ve heard
from him.

CORDELIA: Or if they know of any old enemies he might have.
ANGEL: Exactly.
GROOSALUGG: Mmm.
ANGEL: You two go by
Gunn"s place, just make sure.
CORDELIA: Maybe we could report his truck as stolen.
GROOSALUGG: Um --
ANGEL: Not a terrible idea to get the police
involved if none of this pans out --

FRED: We should leave a note here for
Lorne, let him know what"s going on.
ANGEL: If none of us come up with anything,
we"ll regroup back here at midnight.
GROOSALUGG: And perhaps as we search, we could leave these small rectangles behind
us -- as did that creature who came
by yesterday inquiring after Gunn.

ANGEL: Right. Good -- what? Let me see that!

GROOSALUGG: Small rectangles with telephonic digits. As a way for people to get
in touch with us should they learn anything.

ANGEL: Uh -- could I see that?
FRED: Somebody came by here looking for
Charles?
GROOSALUGG: Yesterday. Please remind me to give that rectangle to Gunn when we find him, for I am confident we shall.
ANGEL: Guy works for Jenoff --
CORDELIA: Jenoff?
ANGEL: The Soul Sucker...
JENOFF: Charles Gunn. I"m impressed. Not a
lot of guys come in through that door
of their own free will -- not the
second time, anyway.
She must be pretty special, this girl
you were gettin" ready to give my
merchandise to.
GUNN: I"m here to make good on my debt.
You don"t even talk about her.
Once we"re square, you don"t even
think about her --
JENOFF: She was never part of the deal.
Hold him.
GUNN: I"m not gonna run.
But touch me and you"d better.
Let"s just get this over with.
ANGEL: Gunn!
FRED: Charles!
GUNN: Fred --
CORDELIA: Angel --
ANGEL: I know.
GROOSALUGG: We are surrounded.
ANGEL: I know.
FRED: We have to save Charles!
ANGEL: I know!
Who"s a guy gotta kill to talk to the
boss around here?
JENOFF: I"m the boss.
Mind telling me why you"re disrupting
my business?
ANGEL: Actually, it"s you who"s disrupting
my business -- you"re about to deprive me of a very valuable employee. Charles Gunn there - he works for me.
JENOFF: Good business man looks into the
backgrounds of potential employees.
Had you done that, you might"ve
learned he was strictly short-term
material.
ANGEL: Then I"ll make a deal with you --
You release him, forget what he owes
you -- and I"ll let you live.
JENOFF: Thank you. Kill "em.
ANGEL: Double or nothing!
JENOFF: You offerin" me your soul?

ANGEL: A chance to win it, anyway.
JENOFF: How stupid do I look to you? You"re
a vampire. I can smell it from here.

ANGEL: Take a bigger whiff. I"m a vampire
with a soul.
JENOFF: Oh. You"re that vampire.
ANGEL: I choose the game. I win, we walk
outta here. Gunn"s debt disappears.
You win -- You get us both.

CORDELIA: Brilliant stall tactic, bought us
some time. Now what"s the plan?
ANGEL: This is the plan.
CORDELIA: Really?
ANGEL: Really. We"re gonna win Gunn"s soul back.
FRED: This is so wrong in so many ways. I
mean, it isn"t money or a stuffed
bunny Angel"s playing for. It"s my
boyfriend.
ANGEL: Fred, I understand you"re nervous.
Don"t be. I"ve been around a long
time. Played a lot of cards and won
a lot of bets.
FRED: See, that"s where we"re different.
I tend to get lost and lose things.
And I can"t lose Charles.
ANGEL: I"m not gonna lose.
REPO MAN: You worried about this?
JENOFF: Like taking candy from a baby.
GROOSALUGG: Angel, if we must rely on luck, I prefer the odds of my sword. We
should fight our way out.

ANGEL: Gotta disagree, Groo. Fighting puts
all of us at risk. My way"s safer.

FRED: If you win! -- But if you lose your
soul, won"t you go evil and start
killin" everybody including us?
Am I wrong...?
CORDELIA: Not wrong in theory, but I gotta go
with Ace on this one. Sorry.
ANGEL: I"m gonna win.
But if I lose... You know what to do.
Just make it quick.
CORDELIA: You know I will.
REPO MAN: Y"know, Jenoff lets me have the
bodies when he"s done with "em.

JENOFF: One hand of cards. If you win, this
man...walks free. If I win, I keep his
soul, and I get yours.
Name your game. Omaha, Texas Hold
"Em, Seven Card Stud...?
ANGEL: How "bout a simple cut of the deck?
High card wins.
JENOFF: Vampire"s not only got a soul, he"s
got guts.
Feeling lucky?
ANGEL: After you.
A three?
GUNN: A three...?
JENOFF: A three!
You lose.
CORDELIA: That quick enough?
ANGEL: Works for me.
FRED: Charles:
GUNN: Angel...
ANGEL: It"s over. No need to say thanks.

GUNN: You"re right. -- If killing him was
that easy, I would"ve done it myself.
GROOSALUGG: Now we fight...
ANGEL: So who else in here owes this guy?

FRED: Say it again. A little slower this
time.
GUNN: I was terribly, terribly wrong to
break up with you and say those mean,
untrue things.
FRED: Good, now say it into the tape
recorder.
GUNN: I"m really sorry and I"ll never do it
again.
FRED: I"m just glad you"re all right.

GUNN: I"m only all right if you and me are
good. We are, aren"t we?

FRED: Just one last thing.
GUNN: Name it.
FRED: Who"d you trade your soul for?
GUNN: ...It was a long time ago.
FRED: I know. But I want you to tell me
and we"ll never talk about it
again. -- Who was she?
Charles...
GUNN: That was way before I met you.

FRED: You musta wanted her pretty bad to
trade your soul.
GUNN: Guess I did...
FRED: Just tell me.
GUNN: It: it was a truck.
I was seventeen years old and I sold
my soul for a truck.
FRED: Not this truck?
GUNN: Don"t go dissin" my girl.
FRED: Oh, Charles. Your soul wasn"t worth
air conditioning?
GUNN: Look, back in the day this truck kept
me alive. Helped me save other lives
too. I know it sounds dumb, but a
soul didn"t seem like such a big
deal. Didn"t think I had a future
then.
Now I do.
FRED: What is it about you that makes me
melt?
GUNN: Maybe it"s that I love you.

FRED: That"s gotta be it.

THE END

 
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