SLOUCHING TOWARD BETHLEHEM
MINIVAN DAD: Try it again, honey. Let"s see. Yeah. One more time.
MINIVAN TEEN: He"s just making it worse.
MINIVAN MOM: Your father"s just trying to get us home.
CONNOR: You OK?
MINIVAN TEEN: Dad?
MINIVAN DAD: Can I help you?
CONNOR: You"re in trouble.
MINIVAN DAD: No, we"re fine.
CONNOR: I like your hat.
MINIVAN DAD: Really, thanks for stopping, but, uh, but we"ve already called for help.
Hey, you guys are just in time. Not sure if we needed a jump or a tow.
DRIVER: I vote jump.
CONNOR: You OK?
MINIVAN MOM: Uh-huh.
CONNOR: Hey. Is that your family?
MINIVAN TEEN: Dad!
GUNN: OK, but three is where I draw the-
CORDELIA: Who are you people?
ANGEL: My God! It"s you. You"re back. Don"t you remember? Angel. Um, you see her too, right? I"m not just-
GUNN: No, man, it"s real.
ANGEL: It"s OK. We"re friends. You know us. Fred. Gunn. You"re dazed or something must- Thank God you"re back.
CORDELIA: So we know each other?
ANGEL: Yeah, really well.
CORDELIA: OK, um... who am I?
ANGEL: What do you remember?
CORDELIA: I don"t know. Numbers. Animals. Flossing.
ANGEL: But not us.
CORDELIA: Or me. I don"t remember me.
ANGEL: You"re Cordelia Chase. You work here. With us. You"ve been gone for a while, but you"re safe now. It"s OK. We-we"re friends. We"re here to help you.
CORDELIA: I"ve been gone?
ANGEL: What"s important is that you"re back.
CORDELIA: Are there other people here?
FRED: Um, not to sound all "Movie of the Week", but I think you might have some kind of amnesia. Like maybe you fell or banged your head.
GUNN: Should we take her to a hospital?
CORDELIA: Hospital? I don"t need a- Not yet, maybe later.
FRED: I don"t think seeing a doctor will solve her problems.
ANGEL: Neither will seeing green. You wanna know what might help you remember? Seeing some of your things. You wanna check for her things out in the garden?
GUNN: Checking away.
ANGEL: Hey, Fred. You wanna help me look in the office?
FRED: Sure. Excuse us.
ANGEL: That could"ve been a disaster. Hi. Welcome back, you"re safe. By the way, there"s a green demon right behind you.
FRED: Don"t you think we should tell her? I mean we do live in a world of demons and icky things. She"s bound to find out.
ANGEL: Well, yeah, sure, but I mean let"s be smart. I want her to remember who I am before I freak her out with the whole undead, drinks blood part of my resume.
FRED: Angel, aren"t you curious about why she"s back?
ANGEL: I hadn"t even- I was just so happy to see her. Why is she back?
FRED: I don"t know. But if Cordy"s been where I think she has, anything"s possible.
CORDELIA: OK, that"s creepy. So"s that.
ANGEL: Couldn"t really find anything of yours in the office.
CORDELIA: That"s OK. Shouldn"t someone answer that?
ANGEL: The machine"ll get it. You really don"t have to be afraid.
CORDELIA: Easy for you to say. I don"t know that. Don"t know you, this place...
CORDELIA (V.O. ANSWERING MACHINE):
Hi. You"ve reached Angel Investigations. We can"t come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number, we"ll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks! And wait for the beep.
CORDELIA: But that voice- Oh, my God! It"s me.
MURRAY: Uh, yeah, this is Murray, down at the spa. Listen, it"s after midnight, and uh, you better get down here.
CORDELIA: I work here.
MURRAY: That demon broad came back. Looks like she"s gonna try and hatch her blood-sucking little-
FRED: We"re here. Uh-huh. OK. We"ll be right there.
CORDELIA: Did-he say "demon broad"?
FRED: Yeah. His, um, wife. It"s an ugly divorce case thing. You know, private eye stuff. I should get Charles and terminate it before the situation multiplies.
ANGEL: OK. I"ll just stay here and help Cordelia settle in.
CORDELIA: I wanna go home. Know where I live?
CORDELIA: This is it? Everything?
ANGEL: Fred and Gunn, they moved everything over from your old apartment after you- You remember that? You wore it when we went to the ballet.
CORDELIA: The ballet? For real? You and me?
ANGEL: We all went, but yeah. Pretty special. I thought maybe you"d remember because... It"s too bad. We had, uh, a really good time. Working together too.
CORDELIA: I wish I could remember.
ANGEL: Me too. I wanna help you get those memories back.
CORDELIA: Great. But not tonight.
ANGEL: I-I understand. If you need any-
CORDELIA: I will.
ANGEL: You really are among friends.
CORDELIA: Cordelia. Hi. I"m Cordy. I"m Cordelia Chase. I"m- Just breathe. Just breathe. Sunnydale. OK, popular. No real surprise there. "Cordelia, homeroom was fun. Too bad it burnt to the ground."
"Hey, how "bout that giant snake."
"Dear Cordelia, thanks for the flaming arrows."
That"s cute. Cute. Hot. Yikes. OK, out from the mental ward. Cute again. Was I a spy? Whose-?
GUY: Sugar, sugar, bah bah bum bum bum. You are my candy girl.
LORNE: OK, OK, jug head. That"s enough. That"s enough. Look, I"ll make this simple. You, you have an addiction. You know it and I know it. Now if you don"t stop snacking on you-know-who"s you"re gonna end up on the wrong end of you-know-
DROOLING GUY: What?
CORDELIA: Hello? Somebody down here?
Oh, my God.
GUNN: How much do I hate those little babies.
FRED: Tell me about it. I couldn"t squish-squash fast enough.
GUNN: I know we get paid to do it, but that"s the kind of mayhem I would do for free.
FRED: I"m gonna be washing their teeny brains out of my hair for a week.
GUNN: Hang on. Turn around.
FRED: What is it?
GUNN: You don"t even want to know. Just hold still.
FRED: Charles, we should go upstairs. Cordelia doesn"t want to know we do this kind of exterminating.
GUNN: Hang on, almost got it. When do you think fang boy"s gonna come clean with her, huh? Spill the really real?
FRED: I"m sure the time will present itself-
It"s OK. Cordelia...
ANGEL: I can explain.
CORDELIA: Wow. How did I-? I am a spy. I get it now. You"re all spies. Probably all Russian. And you"ve brainwashed me, and want me to believe we"re friends so I"ll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.
GUNN: So... I look Russian to you?
CORDELIA: Black Russian.
ANGEL: That"s a drink.
CORDELIA: Says the head spy.
ANGEL: Nobody here is a spy. Those two guys are lawyers-weird as that may seem-from Wolfram and Hart. They must know you"re back. We"ll have to keep her in the hotel so she"s safe-
CORDELIA: Safe? Is that some kind of joke? Your friends here were just talking about murdering children. And there"s-there"s-there"s singing and blood and-and pointy things. And did I mention the singing? I mean, what the hell is going on here, Angie?
ANGEL: I know things seem weird. Maybe even scary. But you have to believe me when I tell you we"re trying to do everything we can to help you get through this difficult time. The Cordelia that we know-the person who you"re trying to remember-is very much at home here, bizarre as that may seem. So I ask you to look inside, to believe me when I tell you that you"re safe and you"re among friends who only want the best for you.
CORDELIA: I believe you.
So, I"m not a spy?
CORDELIA: Am I a mom?
ANGEL: That"s my son. That"s Connor. But no, you"re not his mother.
CORDELIA: So, we weren"t a happy family?
ANGEL: Not like that.
CORDELIA: And you and me? We weren"t-
ANGEL: Not exactly.
CORDELIA: Was I a nun?
ANGEL: A what?
CORDELIA: Were we not a happy family because I was a nun? I was going through my stuff and I found all these-
Get off me.
LORNE: I"m getting. I"m getting. Just stop the clobbering.
ANGEL: Cordelia, stop. Stop. It"s OK. It"s OK. He"s with us.
LORNE: Hey, if this was about that missing lingerie, that was for a friend.
CORDELIA: Tell me that this is Halloween, and he isn"t what I think he is.
LORNE: Trick or treat.
FRED: Don"t you remember Lorne? You two are old buddies.
GUNN: Yeah, you, uh, wanna know why we call him Lorne?
CORDELIA: What I want is answers, and I want "em now, mister!
ANGEL: OK. Maybe we haven"t been a hundred percent... honest because, well, we were afraid the truth would scare you.
CORDELIA: Yeah, and the lying and deceit have been so comforting.
ANGEL: You"re right. Our mistake. I think it"s time we came clean. About everything.
CORDELIA: That"s... everything? It all makes perfect sense now. I was a cheerleader, a princess and a warrior. And I have visions and super powers and I"m the target of an evil law firm because I"ve spent the last three months living on a higher plane, fighting for the forces of good, who wage a battle against demons and evilies and squishy bug babies, "cause all that stuff"s real and that"s the world I live in. And I think I know why I don"t remember any of this "cause, hey- who"d want to!
LORNE: Um, sea breeze?
ANGEL: I know it"s a lot to take in.
CORDELIA: Says the vampire with a soul and his wacky gang of sidekicks.
GUNN: Um, not a sidekick.
ANGEL: I think there"s a way we might be able to sort this out. Pick a song.
CORDELIA: Yeah- What?
FRED: So Lorne can read you.
GUNN: You sing, he sees your future.
ANGEL: Hopefully he"ll be able to explain what"s happened and how we can get your memory back.
CORDELIA: I can"t just sing. I-I don"t even know if I"m even musical. Am I?
GUNN: Sure! You remember any songs?
CORDELIA: W-well, there"s so many. How do I pick?
ANGEL: It doesn"t really matter. I"m kinda a ballad man myself, but, uh... just pick anything.
CORDELIA: Because the greatest love of all is happening to me. I"ve found the greatest love of all inside of me. The greatest love of all is easy to achieve. Learning to love yourself-
FRED: Does he look a little green to you... I mean, more than usual?
LORNE: Uh, great, enough. OK! You were great. You were great. E-everything"s great. We"re all just, uh... I see, uh, a very, very, um...
CORDELIA: Was I really that bad?
ANGEL: Wasn"t you. It was... the song. It reminds him of... um...
CORDELIA: Oh, come on! You guys aren"t even good liars. This is ridiculous.
GUNN: Where you going?
CORDELIA: Out. Away. Does it matter?
FRED: But it"s not safe.
CORDELIA: Oh, right, "cause of evil ninja law firm.
GUNN: We"ll come with, just in case.
CORDELIA: You keep telling me I was a higher being. Don"t make me turn you into a rat.
GUNN: Can she do that?
FRED: Um... come on.
How "bout a sandwich. Let"s go to the kitchen.
GUNN: We have cookies.
CORDELIA: I don"t want a sandwich. I don"t want cookies. I wanna talk to Angel, sans sidekicks.
GUNN: I am not a sidekick.
ANGEL: Lorne. Talk to me. What"d you see?
LORNE: Go away.
ANGEL: If it"s that bad, I need to know.
LORNE: It"s that bad. G"night.
ANGEL: I need details.
LORNE: I got none. Just a splitting migraine, a tummy full of rattlesnakes, and a strong suspicion I"m gonna lose my lunch again if I don"t start drinking myself silly.
ANGEL: C"mon, Lorne. You gotta give me something.
LORNE: Do the words "slouching towards Bethlehem" ring a bell? Or how about despair, torment, terror? And I"m not referring to little missy"s choice of song, either, although that was horrifying in its own right. What I saw was jumbled. It was pieces, flashes. It was enough to make my skin crawl away and scamper under the bed. Evil"s coming, Angel, and it"s planning on staying.
LILAH: It"s not a secret.
WESLEY: What isn"t a secret?
LILAH: Us. The firm knows that we"re... doing this.
WESLEY: Isn"t it their job to know this sort of thing. The sordid details of their employees lives.
LILAH: Mmm... Yeah, I just thought I should tell you. Sordid. Rrreow. Angel knows too.
WESLEY: I don"t work for Angel anymore. And I could care less what he thinks.
LILAH: You faker. That"s what you said when he was sleeping with the fishes. We both know how that played out.
WESLEY: That was different. So Angel knows about our relationship. Big deal.
LILAH: A dollar. You owe me a dollar.
WESLEY: Oh, damn!
LILAH: You called this a relationship. You lost the bet. You said it first. Sign it first, as proof.
WESLEY: Proof of what?
LILAH: Of now. Of this.
CORDELIA: How big is this dump? Angel? Mr. Bumpy-face? Hello? Look, I don"t want cookies or juice or you two following me around, so just back off.
DROOLING GUY: You smell good.
CORDELIA: What do you want?
DROOLING GUY: A snack.
CONNOR: You"re not safe here.
CORDELIA: Ya think?
Can you get me out of here?
ANGEL: How could you let her wander off alone?
FRED: The words "grown woman" come to mind.
GUNN: And the gal does have a history of whooping ass. I mean, you saw the hurting she put on those Wolfram and Hart dudes. And could she really turn me into a rat?
ANGEL: What if Wolfram and Hart came back? What if there were hundreds of those things? What if this is the way it starts? I mean, the slouching and the Bethlehem. And they"ve taken her because of what she knows-even if she can"t remember she knows it.
FRED: Have you been caffeinating your blood again, or is there something you"re not telling us?
LORNE: Oh, there"s a something, but this isn"t it. That was just a client of mine who had a fatal habit of snacking on humans.
ANGEL: And you let it in here with Cordy?
FRED: Hello, back to the something. Is that why you ran out while Cordelia was singing?
LORNE: Well, A: I wasn"t running, I was fleeing, and B: Yes.
GUNN: Well, how horrible is this thing?
LORNE: Well, I haven"t read the Book of Revelations lately, but if I was searching for adjectives, I"d probably start there.
FRED: Was that all you saw?
LORNE: That was the tip of the "berg, pumpkin nut. What I got from Cordy was dense. A big, fat, tummy-clinching onion from hell. The more layers you peel, the more you cry. Or vomit, in this case.
But I tell ya, this is one itch daddy"s done a-scratching.
ANGEL: Look, we got to get Cordelia before- We have to find her. She"s out there, alone. No memory. Probably terrified.
CORDELIA: How cool is that!
CONNOR: I love that one. I wish I"d killed it.
CORDELIA: Kind of a funny way to express your affection. I love you... bang, you"re dead. I gotta ask, why were you at the hotel? You live there?
CORDELIA: Just decided to drop by?
CONNOR: I saw you were back.
CORDELIA: So, we know each other? We"re friends?
CONNOR: You were nice to me once.
CORDELIA: What about the others? You friends with them?
CONNOR: This way.
CORDELIA: Um, if we"re gonna be climbing ladders together, maybe, I don"t know, you could throw a name at me.
CORDELIA: Connor? Really, that"s funny, Angel has a baby named Connor. Did he name it after- Oh, my God.
You"re him. You"re Angel"s son.
CONNOR: It"s not like I got to choose.
CORDELIA: What is this place?
CORDELIA: This is home? If you"re Angel"s son, why don"t you live with him?
CONNOR: They didn"t tell you? I sunk him to the bottom of the ocean... to punish him.
CORDELIA: You"re serious.
CONNOR: I tried to kill you too. I was new to this world. Didn"t understand. Put a knife to your throat. Sorry.
CORDELIA: Thank you. You"re the first person who"s been straight with me. "S told me the truth. Means a lot.
LILAH: Yeah. Hold on. Yeah.
And you got a positive visual of her?
You"re sure that it"s her?
Uh-huh. She"s with the kid? That"s unexpected.
No, I"m here.
Put an extraction team together.
I"m on my way.
WESLEY: You"re leaving.
LILAH: Huh. No rest for the wicked. You should go back to sleep.
WESLEY: Do you really have to go?
LILAH: Why? You missing me already? CORDELIA: You"re not leaving.
CONNOR: I thought you were sleeping.
CORDELIA: Just, don"t go, OK?
CONNOR: I"m locking the door. You"re safe.
CORDELIA: Then why am I so scared? I"m trying to remember little things. Do I have brothers and sisters? What"s my favorite food? Who was my first kiss? There"s nothing there. Just an empty... Do you know how lonely that makes me feel?
CONNOR: You like shoes. And donuts. And you"re very brave.
CORDELIA: Really? Donuts?
CONNOR: And, you"re brave.
CORDELIA: When was I brave?
CONNOR: Now. Tonight. You lost everything and you"re still strong.
CORDELIA: I have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen. Or maybe has happened. And I can"t remember it. And I don"t know what to do-or who to trust-except you. I don"t know why, but I trust you. Why do I get the feeling that you"ve lost everything too?
CONNOR: I had nothing to lose.
CORDELIA: Don"t go too far, OK?
FRED: She"s gotta be somewhere close.
GUNN: Then Angel will find her.
FRED: What is she"s not on her own? What if she"s been taken, or...
GUNN: She"s out there somewhere.
ANGEL: Nothing. We"re gonna have to widen the search. All hospitals, police stations. She couldn"t have just disappeared. OK, once. But not again. Somebody has to know where Cordelia is.
WESLEY: I do.
A bit careless, misplacing her after all the effort to find her.
ANGEL: We didn"t find her, she just showed up. With no memory, no idea who she is or where she"s been.
WESLEY: Fresh start. Doesn"t sound so bad.
ANGEL: What do you know?
WESLEY: Wolfram and Hart are planning to extract her.
GUNN: Already tried.
WESLEY: They"ll try again. She might have spent time with the Powers That Be. Wolfram and Hart will consider her valuable. And I doubt your boy will be able to stop them.
ANGEL: My- She"s with Connor? You have that on good authority?
WESLEY: You don"t seem too concerned.
ANGEL: Connor"s my son. I"m sure he"s taking excellent care of her.
CONNOR: Someone"s here.
Do you remember how to fight?
CONNOR: They"re coming for you. I"ve set traps, but you"ll have to fight. Do you know how?
CORDELIA: One way to find out.
LILAH: Well, aren"t you the stud?
CARLO: Miss Morgan. It"s done.
LILAH: Hmm. Music to my ears, Carlo. I"m going home. Tell the boys it"s fourth-and-ten.
CARLO: All units: punt. I repeat: punt.
GUNN: That"s right, monkey boys. Don"t mess with the big dog! It"s better than sidekick.
ANGEL: Did they hurt you? Are you OK?
CORDELIA: Yeah, I"m OK.
CONNOR: I didn"t expect so many.
ANGEL: You tried. I appreciate it. And I really like what you"ve, um, done with the...nice. We should probably get you back home.
CORDELIA: Actually, I"d like to stay here. With Connor.
ANGEL: I don"t think that"s the best idea. Connor"s a great fighter. I helped train him. But you need more than just muscle right now.
CORDELIA: You"re right. I need someone who won"t lie to me... like you did. All of you, I know you were trying to help, but the truth is the only way to do that, and that"s what Connor"s given to me.
ANGEL: Keep her safe.
FRED: If it makes you feel better, I would have chosen you.
ANGEL: Thanks. But no, it doesn"t.
GUNN: Hey, just remember, man, that"s not really Cordy- well, not all of her.
ANGEL: Maybe she"s right. Maybe we should"ve spilled everything from the start, you know? Played it all card-up.
GUNN: You mean demons and monsters and vamps card-up? Wouldn"t"ve worked.
FRED: She"s confused is all. Give her time. She"ll see the truth: who the real champion is.
GUNN: Damn straight! If Team Angel hadn"t shown up with a little clobbering time, Wolfram and Hart would"ve nabbed her and probably-
FRED: Oh, my God!
FRED: Is he alive?
ANGEL: What happened? Who did this?
GUNN: Wesley? Not again.
ANGEL: Wolfram and Hart.
GUNN: OK, but-but why? I thought Cordy was their target.
ANGEL: They must"ve known Lorne read her.
GUNN: OK wait, so are you saying that the slam dance at Connor"s place was a decoy?
ANGEL: And we fell for it like a bunch of rookies. They weren"t after Cordy, they were after what Lorne saw when she sang.
FRED: They sucked it out of his head?
ANGEL: How much? What"d they get?
LORNE: They had-they had a demon. I-I wouldn"t talk. And the thing burrowed... inside. And took Cordy out.
ANGEL: Lorne, how much did they get?
LORNE: All of it.
FRED: They tricked us.
GUNN: Wolfram and Hart or Wesley. He"s the one who showed up with the hot tip about Junior. How do we know he"s not the one playing us?
ANGEL: We don"t. But what we do know is that Wolfram and Hart may now know more about Cordy"s doom and gloom thing than we do. And that"s a problem.
LILAH: Ooh. A drop-by. That"s a surprise.
WESLEY: Is it?
LILAH: Well, that it took you so long, yeah.
WESLEY: You played me.
LILAH: You played yourself.
WESLEY: On the phone, you wanted me to hear that so I would tell Angel.
LILAH: Free will. Look it up.
LILAH: I was just doing my job. You"re the one who decided to take what you overheard and give it to the good-n-plentys. So before you go all righteous fury, figure out who you"re really mad at here.
WESLEY: What was the real plan?
LILAH: Let"s just say, I could"ve had Lorne"s brain in a jar, but I left it in his head "cause he"s a friend of yours.
WESLEY: What"s that supposed to do? Lull me into trusting you again?
LILAH: If I"d thought you"d ever trust me, I would"ve never played you like that.
WESLEY: It"s never simple, is it?