CONNOR: Lemme guess. Out-of-towners?
VAMPIRE: Yeah, Tucson.
CONNOR: Welcome to L.A. Tourists.
FRED: Seeing Angel"s soul all floaty like that kinda makes me crazy.
LORNE: Yeah, it"s not forever, sugar plum. We"re just borrowing it.
FRED: Don"t drop it.
WESLEY: Angel is gone.
CORDELIA: I can"t believe...it"s done.
GUNN: Taking out Angel"s soul. Putting it in a jar. I hope we know what we"re doing.
WESLEY: If Angelus knows how to destroy the Beast, it"s all we"ve got.
LORNE: Yeah, otherwise, permanent midnight.
CORDELIA: He"s dangerous. I know. I"ve seen it. But we"re doing the right thing.
WESLEY: As long as we"re very careful. Before Angelus was ensouled, his viciousness was mythic. You all know his history.
FRED: Killing, maiming, torture...
LORNE: Puppies nailed to walls. Thank you, Cordelia, for that lovely image. But, uh, I think that brings us up to speed.
WESLEY: There"s only one thing Angelus will be focused on: getting free so that he can slaughter us.
CORDELIA: We"re Angel"s only link to humanity. Angelus will hate us for that. He"ll want to make us suffer.
WESLEY: Watch the monitor when I go down. Pay attention to everything he does, everything he says. He"ll try to confuse you, to play on your emotions so you drop your guard. If he succeeds-even for an instant-we"re all dead. I spent my life training for this, and I"m still not ready. He"s smarter than I am, and a great deal more focused. He"ll exploit everything Angel knows about me and go for the jugular.
Whatever he"s got, I"m not gonna see it coming.
ANGELUS: If you go into the woods tonight,
you won"t believe your eyes. If you go into the woods tonight, you"re in for a big surprise...
ANGELUS: Wes. Why the long face? Aren"t you happy to see me?
WESLEY: Should I be?
ANGELUS: Well, if it wasn"t for you and your shaman friend, I wouldn"t be here. I"m feeling the love.
WESLEY: The choice was Angel"s.
ANGELUS: Angel, schmangel. You"re the man with the brain.
WESLEY: You"re comfortable?
ANGELUS: Nice acoustics. Wouldn"t hate a chair.
WESLEY: You"ll have to forgive the accommodations. The last time you were free, you terrorized Sunnydale.
ANGELUS: That slayer-she"s a pistol.
WESLEY: I"ve imagined this moment many times. Years of study, research... I"ve read everything ever written about you...
ANGELUS: Stop, I"m blushing.
WESLEY: To be one-on-one with the legendary Angelus. As a former watcher, it"s a high point.
ANGELUS: Buttering me up. Getting me all relaxed, hm? Not the most innovative interrogation technique, but... OK, I"ll play.
WESLEY: Is it a game?
ANGELUS: Hey, open book. Anything you want to know. How sweet that virgin gypsy tasted. The special smell of a newborn"s neck. My first nun-now that"s a great story.
WESLEY: We could start there.
ANGELUS: Don"t be coy, Wes. You"re just dying to know about the big Beastie. Fire away.
WESLEY: All right. Did you know the beast?
ANGELUS: Well, now that"s a question. Not a great question. Not even an insightful question. Not a Wyndham-Pryce-worthy question-
WESLEY: If you knew the Beast, why wouldn"t Angel remember?
ANGELUS: I don"t know. Maybe he doesn"t remember the good times. Maybe he won"t let himself. So like him. Here"s one for you: what"s the deal with Angel and the Raiders of the Lost Ark?
WESLEY: The movie?
ANGELUS: The "perfect day" fantasy he came up with. Caves, booby traps, the requisite phallic sword.
WESLEY: He fought the Beast in the fantasy?
ANGELUS: Real candy-ass.
WESLEY: The Beast?
ANGELUS: Angel. Not enough to be the hero-couldn"t be happy unless the whole gang"s pitching in.
WESLEY: So, he killed the Beast in this fantasy.
ANGELUS: Had to. To get what he wanted. We all want something, Wes. It"s the way of the world. Everybody"s got an agenda.
WESLEY: And you want to tell me mine.
ANGELUS: You want to come down here, get your vital stats on lava boy, play the big hero-
WESLEY: I want to know how to kill the Beast. It has nothing to do with being a hero.
ANGELUS: Sure it does, but why now? Can"t be because there"s an apocalypse coming-always one of those around the corner.
WESLEY: Enlighten me.
ANGELUS: "Foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart." That"s where you live.
ANGELUS: You want to impress the girl. Move in, get her to love you, and after a couple days of flowers and chocolate covered cherries, you"ll bend her over the kitchen counter-
WESLEY: That supposed to rattle me?
ANGELUS: Kinda bony for my taste, but different strokes...
WESLEY: The Beast called you an adversary.
ANGELUS: Bet he loves to rub that shiny bald head against her soft, milky skin. Mmmm...good...
Come on, Wes. Not like your schoolgirl crush is a secret.
FRED: Charles, remember, we can"t believe anything Angelus says.
GUNN: How "bout the stuff that"s true? Can we believe that?
CORDELIA: He distorts everything. He lies with the truth. It"s part of what makes him so dangerous.
LORNE: Yeah, don"t let him get to you, kiwi.
GUNN: He"s not the only one that"s gettin".
GUNN: I know. I know.
FRED: It"s just words.
WESLEY: You"ve found a vulnerability, exploited it. Well done.
Can we move on now?
ANGELUS: I"m just getting started. Tell you this- all that digging you"ve been doing on the horny giant-wrong place.
WESLEY: And the right place?
ANGELUS: I could tell you. Wouldn"t be sporting.
WESLEY: But you were adversaries-you and the Beast.
ANGELUS: Guy like me... friends, enemies...hard to keep track.
WESLEY: If he was an enemy, I"d be doing you a favor in destroying him.
ANGELUS: You know, you"re not fooling anyone. Get some new clothes, cool haircut, hit the gym-you"re still the same loser none of the other kids wanted to sit with at lunch.
WESLEY: Yet you"re locked in that cage, and I"m out here.
ANGELUS: So? You"ve got no leverage. What are you going to do? Kill me?
WESLEY: If I have to.
ANGELUS: Wait "til they drop, Wes, then try that line again.
WESLEY: I"ll put your soul back. You won"t talk, no problem-we"ll bring Angel back and be no worse off than we were.
ANGELUS: Making you a failure again.
WESLEY: You want to waste my time, you can rot down here.
ANGELUS: Nice stamina, Wes. No wonder Fred"s not interested.
WESLEY: Whatever your connection to the Beast, clearly you don"t know anything that can help us.
ANGELUS: Is this the part where I"m supposed to get defensive, start talking to prove you wrong? What else you got?
WESLEY: You must hate it-that Angel fights evil.
ANGELUS: Eats you up inside, doesn"t it. Seeing all those idiots flock around him, calling him a champion. Anyone ever call you a champion?
WESLEY: I do my part.
ANGELUS: Right. Like letting Lilah suck Lorne"s brain. Or, here"s an oldie but a goodie: Faith. Good job being her watcher. She turned out to be a peach.
WESLEY: And you managed to get your soul back, not once, but twice, saving the world several times in the process. Nobody"s perfect.
ANGELUS: Then there"s kidnapping the fruit of my loins. Smooth.
WESLEY: He survived.
ANGELUS: I guess you just can"t understand that special bond between dad and son, given that your own father"s ashamed of you-
WESLEY: And Connor"s ashamed of you. The universe"s way of maintaining order, I guess.
ANGELUS: Twerp really gives me the creeps. You?
WESLEY: In Cordelia"s vision, you and the Beast were standing on a field-
ANGELUS: Oh, God, yeah. Let"s talk about Cordy, shall we? Now, there"s a rack to write home about. Too bad about the personality, though. "Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap!" "Oh, God. Oh, Angel. Angel, we can"t. I love you, but you were so bad. You ate babies." Chicks.
LORNE: Sticks and stones, sweet potato.
GUNN: We don"t have to l-
CORDELIA: No, I"m OK.
FRED: Like you said-just little bitty bits of truth twisted all up into lies.
ANGELUS: Which do you think is worse, Wes? Stealing my kid like you did, or banging him, like Cordelia. All that bumping and grinding. Fire raining in the sky. Quite a picture. Well, more of a snapshot, "cause Connor-
FRED: Now, that"s just ridiculous. Connor"s Angel"s son. It"d be like sleeping with your own- Oh.
ANGELUS: At least you thought you were doing the right thing. Hey, who"s a guy gotta kill to get a drink around here?
CORDELIA: Connor, what happened? Are you all right?
CONNOR: They"re coming from all over. Too many to fight. What?
WESLEY: He wants blood.
FRED: I"ll get it.
GUNN: Me too.
ANGELUS: Othello and Desdemona. My favorite couple. Oh, wait, Desdemona wasn"t in love with the other guy. So much for stand by your man. Then again, you probably like her on her knees.
GUNN: Keep talking. I"ll sweep out the cage when I"m done.
ANGELUS: Oh. Provocative. Get me all riled up. You think that"s what your boss would want?
GUNN: Don"t have a boss.
ANGELUS: You might want to tell Wesley that. Ah, Fred. You look all fresh and sweet, but I hear you at night in your room with Gunn. The things you say. I"m lying there, listening, hands under the covers... I can"t help myself. It"s so... gripping.
GUNN: This coming from a guy who can"t get any. Ever.
FRED: You"re a pig.
GUNN: Step back.
ANGELUS: Might get some now.
I like the way you move, Fred. Do it just a little to the left.
GUNN: Get off her!
ANGELUS: Come on, Charles, save her! Come on! Save, her Charles!-
GUNN: Are you OK? Did he hurt you?
FRED: No. I"m sorry. That was so stupid, I-I should"ve-
WESLEY: It"s not your fault. Angelus is unpredictable. He"ll take any opening, no matter how small. It"s understandable, but you played right into his hands. Never drop your weapon.
GUNN: So you"re OK?
FRED: Yeah. I"m just glad you"re here.
CORDELIA: Hope you, uh, like black.
CONNOR: Thanks. This is his.
CORDELIA: Well, if you don"t like it, I could ask Lorne.
CONNOR: It"s fine.
CORDELIA: You"re not going back out.
CONNOR: Somebody has to.
CORDELIA: Connor, you"re exhausted. You said yourself there were too many-
CONNOR: I want to get out of here, OK? Everybody still looks at me like I"m the one who"s connected to the Beast.
CORDELIA: No. The looking earlier-that wasn"t about the Beast. It was because of us. Angelus said some things about the night we-you know. The weirdness is because everyone knows.
CONNOR: Angel doesn"t care if everyone knows. Why should I?
CORDELIA: It"s not Angel. Anyway, you should get some rest.
CONNOR: You don"t want to be with me-fine, you"re not, but don"t tell me what to do.
WESLEY: Hey. Angelus mentioned something about a sword in Angel"s fantasy. I thought...
FRED: I wanted to thank you. If you hadn"t"ve come in when you did...
WESLEY: He"s not there.
FRED: It"s- Charles heard what Angelus said. The stuff about-
FRED: Yeah, and-
WESLEY: How I feel about you.
FRED: Yes, which is very sweet. There"s nothing wrong with i-
WESLEY: Yes there is.
GUNN: Hey, who"s watching the monitor? What"s going on?
GUNN: Did he just-?
FRED: Of course not. Charles, you"re right-the monitor.
GUNN: You better tell me what the hell I just walked in on.
FRED: We were just-
GUNN: What? Researching?
WESLEY: You want to do this, deal with me. Leave Fred out of it.
GUNN: You ought to be leaving Fred out of it!
FRED: Hello, I"m here.
GUNN: You think I don"t see the way you look at her?
FRED: Charles, please.
GUNN: And you, running off to him every time you need help, like I"m not good enough.
FRED: No, that"s not- This isn"t the time.
GUNN: I"m telling you-stay away from her.
ANGELUS: That was fast.
GUNN: -long time since you were out for anyone but yourself.
WESLEY: I owe you nothing. Not anymore.
GUNN: You just take what you want, huh-
FRED: Come on.
GUNN: -no matter who it belongs to.
WESLEY: I didn"t realize Fred came with a deed.
FRED: Stop it! What"s wrong with you?
GUNN: You don"t realize a lot of things, like the fact that nobody wants you here.
WESLEY: "Cause you do such a bang-up job without me.
LORNE: Hey, hey, come on, guys. Let"s not say anything that-
GUNN: Shut up, Lorne! Great idea, Wes, stealing Angel"s kid. Oh, was losing him a part of your plan, too?
WESLEY: Go ahead. Throw some more blame around. It"s what you"re best at.
GUNN: You want to say that again?
FRED: Oh, God.
WESLEY: Face it, Gunn, you can"t give her what she needs.
This is insane!
CORDELIA: You"re doing exactly what Angelus wants.
LORNE: Oh, for the love of Mike Tyson-
CONNOR: Everyone"s afraid of you.
ANGELUS: Is that my shirt?
CONNOR: Not anymore.
ANGELUS: Looks good on you, son.
CONNOR: So did Cordy.
ANGELUS: She looks good on everybody.
CONNOR: Angel warned me about you. Said I should remember you"re not my real father.
ANGELUS: Yeah, that was a nice speech. Touching. I think it ended with you promising to kill me.
CONNOR: I remember.
ANGELUS: Kind of unnecessary, don"t you think? I mean, with your track-record, I"ll be staking myself by the end of the day.
CONNOR: It"s fine by me.
ANGELUS: Darla felt the same way. It made her sick, you squirming inside her. So, she jammed a stake in her own heart, just so she wouldn"t have to hear your first whiny breath.
CONNOR: You don"t know anything.
ANGELUS: Then there was Holtz. It disappointed him so much that he stabbed himself in the neck.
CONNOR: My fa- Holtz was a good man. All he ever wanted was for you to get the punishment you deserve. And you will.
ANGELUS: And now my boy"s in love. All hearts and flowers. But, doesn"t it freak you out that she used to change your diapers? I mean, when you think about it, the first woman you boned is the closest thing you"ve ever had to a mother. Doing your mom and trying to kill your dad. Hm. There should be a play.
CONNOR: You think I care what you say? Angel told me how you"d try to hurt me, how you aren"t my real dad, just some animal in a cage. Angel"s my dad.
ANGELUS: I"m gonna cry.
CONNOR: That"s what he told me. And he thought I believed him. The truth is, Angel"s just something that you"re forced to wear. You"re my real father.
ANGELUS: I"m right here. All you have to do is come and get me.
CONNOR: You"d like that.
ANGELUS: You couldn"t take me anyway. CONNOR: We"ll see.
ANGELUS: Promises, promises. Don"t make "em, if you can"t keep "em.
CONNOR: I wouldn"t think of it.
ANGELUS: It might be your best chance. Don"t disappoint daddy.
CORDELIA: Connor. Go upstairs.
CORDELIA: Please, go upstairs.
CONNOR: It"s your lucky day.
ANGELUS: Yeah. Go to your room, mama"s boy. Cordy. Cordy, Cordy. Just couldn"t stay away.
CORDELIA: It"s been a long day, and I think you"ve done enough damage.
ANGELUS: So, no hug?
CORDELIA: You and I are gonna make a deal.
ANGELUS: Tough. Did you practice that in front of the mirror a few times? Lemme guess. You want to know about the Beast.
CORDELIA: Everything you know.
ANGELUS: Oh. And in return, I get what? Wouldn"t mind a car. I hear the new Mustang is nice.
CORDELIA: Something better.
ANGELUS: What"s a better ride than a Mustang?
CORDELIA: That"s the offer. No more stalling, no more games. You tell us what you know, you get me.
ANGELUS: Must be some confusion. You took out the soul. Still have the brain.
CORDELIA: Then use it. The Beast, the darkness-the world is falling apart. We"re out of time, we"re out of ideas. You"re the end of the line.
ANGELUS: Wes was better at buttering me up.
CORDELIA: You know what it means to be a champion.
ANGELUS: I"m trying so hard to forget.
CORDELIA: Sometimes a sacrifice needs to be made.
ANGELUS: And you"re the little lamb. Not that there aren"t a few things I wouldn"t mind doing to that body-other than the obvious.
CORDELIA: Tell us about the Beast, and you can do whatever you want.
ANGELUS: You"re lying.
CORDELIA: Look in my eyes. Angel knows me. You know me. Better than anyone. So, when you look at me, you know I"m not lying.
FRED: I don"t understand.
GUNN: Why is Sid Vicious suddenly Mr. Show-and-Tell?
LORNE: Well, honey buns here must have a secret stash of higher-power dust.
CORDELIA: Something like that. He"s ready, Wes, whenever-
CONNOR: Why don"t you want to tell us what you did?
CORDELIA: I did what I had to.
GUNN: Which means what?
WESLEY: Connor"s right. We"re all painfully aware of Angelus"s ability to manipulate-
CORDELIA: I"m not being manipulated.
WESLEY: It would be better if I knew.
CORDELIA: It"s better if you don"t.
WESLEY: All right. Shall we start from the beginning?
ANGELUS: Why not?
WESLEY: The year.
WESLEY: So, you were in Prussia.
ANGELUS: You have been doing your homework. Hmm... those Prussian girls. Must be the pastries. Worth the trip-all that sweetness gets into their blood.
WESLEY: Very interesting. At some point, the Beast would appear?
ANGELUS: Patience, Wes. I was taking a shortcut on my way to Vienna. Started feeling like someone was watching me. There were troops around.
I"d run into them now and then. Not as sweet as the girls, by the way. But, the little massacre I ran into-seriously lacking in military precision. Bodies, bodies everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
So, I followed the trail, and there was your friend. The one you so cleverly call "The Beast."
We had a lot in common, but he already knew that.
He"d been watching me. He staged the carnage to impress me.
WESLEY: So, he sought you out. Why?
ANGELUS: Girl trouble. Thought I might be able to help him with a situation.
ANGELUS: You"ve heard of the Svea Priestesses? Very powerful, big into banishing.
ANGELUS: The Beast was next on their list. He couldn"t touch them-some kind of mojo-but a vampire could.
WESLEY: So, he wanted you to kill them?
ANGELUS: We had it all worked out. I"d scratch his priestesses, and he"d scratch my back somewhere down the line. A limited partnership.
BEAST: You need not be my enemy. Join with me, Angelus.
ANGELUS: I declined.
And he didn"t ask twice. I probably could have been more diplomatic with my refusal, but I"m not big with teamwork.
I thought that was going to be the end of me. But, like I said-girl trouble-
So, they just started up the whammy, and there you have it.
WESLEY: The Beast was banished. How?
ANGELUS: Don"t know.
I was busy with the passing out.
CORDELIA: Slarf demons, spell mantras, Srail"gong technique, but nothing on-
FRED: The Svea priestesses. Also known as the Svear, a mystical order all descendents of a powerful Nordic priestess, Svea.
GUNN: They"ve been busy.
CONNOR: Anything about the Beast?
FRED: Nothing definitive, but this one looks like it could match up.
WESLEY: Same region, approximately the same time period.
FRED: I"m shaky on Freyan runes, but kinda seems like it"s only a general I.D. of who or what got banished.
WESLEY: Translation, something like, uh, big...hard thing.
CORDELIA: Sounds like our guy.
LORNE: Fantastico! So where do we find these banishing babes, and, uh, how fast can they get to L.A.?
GUNN: "Bout 25 minutes, depending on traffic. They"re in Pacoima.
CONNOR: Looks like no one"s home.
WESLEY: It"s open. Hello? Anyone home? Hello?
CORDELIA: Hello? Nordic priestesses?
CONNOR: So, the mom"s a priestess?
CORDELIA: I think all the women in the family are. What is that?
WESLEY: We"re too late. Again.
CORDELIA: How does the Beast know exactly what we"re gonna do? It"s like he"s psychic.
WESLEY: Maybe he is.
CONNOR: Or he"s been watching us at the hotel.
CORDELIA: Angelus could have sent him a message, some kind of demon Morse code.
WESLEY: No, these people have been dead for a few days. Angelus had nothing to do with this.
CORDELIA: Which means, by the time the shaman was going all chanty on Angel, it was already too late.
CONNOR: You mean, they"ve been here like this...for days?
WESLEY: With the chaos outside, probably no one even noticed they were gone.
CORDELIA: We should have seen this coming.
WESLEY: Of course the Beast would go after the priestesses. Let"s have a look around. Then we should call the police. Banishment incantation. At least, I think it is.
CORDELIA: Then they were trying to get rid of the Beast.
WESLEY: Seems so.
The day is marked: "Daddy"s Birthday"
Connor... The sun should be up. It"s different, isn"t it? Dead demons are just a big blob of oozing mess. Vampires turn into dust like they were never anything at all. But humans- it"s different.
CONNOR: It"s not-
CORDELIA: Come on!
CONNOR: Let"s go.
ANGELUS: If you go into the woods tonight,
you won"t believe your eyes...
FRED: He"s so relaxed.
GUNN: It"s like, he"s not even in a cage.
LORNE: In his mind, he"s not.
GUNN: You get anything off him?
LORNE: Let me put it this way, moon pie, you don"t want to know.
FRED: I don"t. I definitely don"t.
GUNN: What happened?
FRED: You didn"t get the Svear.
WESLEY: No, the Beast did. Slaughtered the entire family.
FRED: Guess he found a way to kill them after all.
GUNN: So much for our big priestess rescue.
FRED: Are we sure Angelus doesn"t know anything more? I mean, maybe we should talk to-
WESLEY: No. I think he"s told us everything he"s going to.
GUNN: Which means our last-ditch plan, turning Angel into a soulless monster, it"s a bust. If Angelus can"t help us-
CORDELIA: It"s time to bring back Angel.
LORNE: Oh, and he"s usually so chatty.
CORDELIA: Rough night.
WESLEY: We"ll need the shaman.
ANGELUS: Here I thought you"d be halfway to Georgia by now.
CORDELIA: I told you I"d be back. I"m back.
ANGELUS: How"d the little field trip turn out? Priestesses still feisty?
CORDELIA: We found a little boy, his sister, mom, dad, grandma-all dead.
ANGELUS: Oh, God. I"m always missing the fun stuff.
CORDELIA: The Beast butchered them.
ANGELUS: So? Did you bring me back a souvenir? Maybe a stray baby toe? Come on, Cordy. Where"s your sense of humor?
CORDELIA: Guess I lost it.
ANGELUS: Well, don"t blame me for our little debacle. I told you everything I know.
CORDELIA: Too late.
ANGELUS: And who"s fault is that? Doesn"t matter. I showed you mine. Now it"s time to show me yours.
CORDELIA: The deal was: you give us information, we save the world, you get me. Well, world not saved.
ANGELUS: You"re not thinking I"m just gonna let this go.
CORDELIA: Not seeing a whole lot of other options. With the big steel cage and all.
ANGELUS: Won"t be in here forever.
CORDELIA: "Bout another hour. Forgot to tell you the best part. We"re putting your soul back.
ANGELUS: Not gonna happen.
CORDELIA: Oh, but it is. Just in time for the primo apocalypse that"s coming. Too bad. I know how you love those.
ANGELUS: Been looking forward to it all day. Still am.
CORDELIA: Thing is, you"re never coming back. Angel"s going to make sure of that.
ANGELUS: We"ll see.
CORDELIA: What you don"t get, Angelus, is that you"re nobody. Just a disease. And Angel can"t wait to be rid of you.
ANGELUS: I think I"ll start with the twins. I just love a woman with nice ripe thighs.
CORDELIA: Not even close.
ANGELUS: The more you piss me off, the longer I"ll keep you alive. Oh, something tells me she"s a screamer.
CORDELIA: OK, let"s- What?
FRED: Angel"s soul. It"s gone.