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LIFE OF THE PARTY

LORNE: It"ll be fabulous. Believe me, Jerry. Yes. It"s Grapes of Wrath in outer space.

Uh-huh. Oh, it"s got heart. Yes, it"s got laser battles.
It"s got a timely message of interstellar poverty. Uh-huh. Listen, have your assistant call my assistant. We"ll set something up. Good enough.
J.C., Listen, just got off the Nextel with big "B." Yeah, intrigued, but wants to know who"s playin" Tom Joad. Uh-huh. Well, I"m pretty sure that Henry Fonda"s dead, sweetie. Yeah. Bring him back to life? Let me talk to my science people. OK, no promises.
Directors.
Harmonica!
HARMONY: Lorney-tunes!
LORNE: Ohh, the eyes, the hair, the dress. It"s no wonder the fourth floor has a crush on you. Hey, tell me, priceless, where do I find Angel?

HARMONY: Just called. He"s on his way back in from a field mission, though I wouldn"t, if I were you. He sounds like he"s in a mood.

LORNE: Oh, don"t worry, darlin". I"ve pulled the big boy out of many a brood-fest. It shouldn"t be that-
Eww.
WESLEY: Angel, how did the new neural-intercept grenade work?
ANGEL: It didn"t.
WESLEY: Right. I"ll take it down to Fred and have her look at it.
LORNE: Hey, Angel-heart-
Hey, Wes, if you see Fred, can you have her pencil me in for later? I gotta talk to her about Henry Fonda"s big comeback.

WESLEY: All right.
LORNE: Angel, Angel. We"ve gotta have a confab. Es muy importante-

ANGEL: Uh, or-wha-
LORNE: Uh, it"s about the party? I"ve done all I can do for the big to-do, but we"ve still got a few bugs to comb out of the cootie garage.
A bridge too far? Uh, let me try it again. Uh-


ANGEL: Look, Lorne, I"ve been out all night, OK? I"m beat up, I"m exhausted, I"m covered head to toe in Thraxis blood, which actually kind of burns, so this is all gonna have to wait until I take a shower.
LORNE: You killed the Thraxis?
ANGEL: Shower.
LORNE: Hey, Van, look, why don"t we, uh, scratch the Thraxis off the invite list, and, uh-oh, hey, you got a copy of that print ad we"re gonna run this week?

VAN: Yes. Right.
LORNE: What is this? "Wolfram & Hart wants to be up your alley"? Sounds like a bus station pick-up line. Change it. Second thought, burn it. Grab yourself a bagel or something, too. You look a little waxy.

LORNE"S REFLECTION: Ooh, ouch. That"s an adult-sized bang-a-roo. Hello?
Oh, Mr. Smiles.
Oh, come on, you can"t ignore me forever. Oh, well, fine. Looks like you"re gonna have to slap a band-aid on that melon, draw a grin on that bewitching green mug, and go right back out there. On the count of 9, sunshine. 1...2...3...
The show stops for no demon, Lorne. 4...5...
They"re all waiting for you. 6...7... They"re counting on you. 8...comin"up on 9. They"re gonna eat you up with a spoon because you"re so scrumptious!



LORNE: Shut up!
LORNE"S REFLECTION: Don"t, don"t leave me this way
I can"t exist
I"ll surely miss
your tender kiss
so don"t leave me this way
ohhhh...
LORNE: Ohhh, baby! Oh, my heart is full of love and desire for you!

Opening credits.

EVE: Hi. Uh, the door was open. Well, unlocked.
Well... I had a key.
So, uh, wow. You take a long shower for a guy.
Were we having some gentlemen"s time?

ANGEL: Gentlemen"s?
EVE: I mean, I understand. You"re running the whole circus now, a lot of pressure, especially with your hands-on policy. No pun intended. I"m sure you could use a release.

ANGEL: No releasing, just bathing. That"s what one does after bashing open a demonic piсata full of rancid Tabasco. What do you want, Eve?

EVE: You stood me up. We had a 7:30, Angel, a meeting.
ANGEL: Oh. Right. Uh... I"ll get my pants.
EVE: So, how"s it going, Angel?
ANGEL: Oh...
I don"t know how to answer that question. I-I don"t know. Good. Bad.
Look, I spent years doing everything I could to bring this company down. Now I"m the CEO, and I have to question every move I make because any one of them could be exactly what the senior partners want, so, no, I have no idea how it"s going.


EVE: Hey, at least you can still get your nocturnal jollies saving the downtrodden from things that go bump in the night.

ANGEL: Well, you said it yourself. Everyone needs a release.
EVE: No. I said you need a release. Not everyone bottles all this stuff up like you.

ANGEL: I don"t bottle.
EVE: You bottle.
ANGEL: I don"t bottle.
OK, why does it look like we"re having a party in here?
LORNE: Well, maybe "cause we"re having a party in here. The Wolfram & Hart Halloween Bash? Ring a bell? The biggest event on the company calendar? I sent you a small forest"s worth of memos on it.

ANGEL: We"re havin" it here?
LORNE: You see what I"m up against?

EVE: That"s what our 7:30 was about, Angel. Your party.
ANGEL: My party?
LORNE: Yeah, listen. Here"s the snafu in a nutshell, top cat. Uh, nobody"s comin". Well, some people are coming, but the right people, the A-list people, they seem to be giving it a miss, and if they don"t show up, this shindig is gonna be a bust.

ANGEL: Good.
LORNE: Good?!
ANGEL: I wasn"t too crazy about this thing to begin with. I mean, we are talking about our clients, right? Our evil clients.
Not the sort of folks I really like to show a good time. I"d be a lot happier if the whole thing just kind of fell through. Then we could get back to-


LORNE: Ha ha ha! OK! OK! You"re killin" me. Can"t you just feel up the big picture, Mr. Magoo?

It"s not about good and evil. It"s about party. Party! Capital "P"! Rhymes with "me"?
About to have a stroke here "cause you"re killin" me!
Listen. I can see that you"re in a-a state, a-a mood, a-a snit even,
so what say we talk about this once you"ve... calmed down a bit?
ANGEL: Yeah, sure. That"s fine-
LORNE: Great. Your office. 25 minutes.

FRED: Was Angel mad?
WESLEY: Shouldn"t he be? We sent him out there with a defective piece of weaponry.
FRED: Which "we" are we talking about?
WESLEY: Fred, these techno-mystical hybrids are a complicated affair.
KNOX: Oh, I don"t know. It seemed kind of simple to me. It"s just a little hand-held, spell-casting robot, right? So it"s either the robot or the spell that we have a problem with.

WESLEY: Well, the grenade"s core enchantment looks operational, so I think we"re talking about a faulty trigger mechanism.

FRED: No, wait a minute. I designed that mechanism myself.
KNOX: Yeah, that"s right, and I machined it. It was beautiful work, on both counts, if I may say.
FRED: You may.
WESLEY: I agree, as a sculptural piece, but the device"s trigger may not have been fine enough to actually trigger the effect.

LORNE: Happy Halloween, kids!
KNOX: And how do you know your spell-casters didn"t screw up the payload?

WESLEY: Because I went over the work and I got that knowing feeling you get when you know something.

LORNE: Trick or treat?
FRED: Hi, Lorne.
LORNE: Hi. What do you say we put away your little sci-fi toys for a little bit, huh? And maybe we could talk about something a little more important, like my monster mash?

FRED: Oh, yeah, your party.
LORNE: Our party, tweety bird. Which, by the way, is dying on the vine. I could really, really, really use some help from you guys- some backup?


FRED: I wasn"t really planning on going.
LORNE: Wes. Do you hear this crazy talk?

WESLEY: Uh, well, I really hadn"t given much thought to going myself.
LORNE: Et tu, Brutuses? Why is it so hard to get anyone to have any fun around here?

KNOX: You should go. It"s the Halloween blowout to end all blowouts. Last year, uh-
They took a bunch of cows and put them in a giant wicker effigy of Krishna, uh, doused it with sambuca, and it-
Uh, well... anyway, it-it"s a hell of a good time.
FRED: I really wanna get this operational before Angel goes out again.

WESLEY: Yes. I"ll stay, too. I"m sure we can work it out together.
LORNE: No. No-no-no, no, no, no, no! Wes, Fred, you"re coming. Look at yourselves. You"re wound tighter than Martha Stewart"s swatch. Isn"t there anyone else who"d, uh, fix the little boo-boos on this thing?
KNOX: I can do that. It"s probably the trigger mechanism anyway.
LORNE: Great. Problem solved. I"ll see you two in Angel"s office, 15 minutes.

GUNN: Hey, Lorne.
LORNE: Hey, hey. Uh... sorry to interrupt. Not to be a pest, but I just wanted to go over a little stratego, amigo.
GUNN: Uh, sorry?
LORNE: Um, you"re my big gun, Gunn. Ace-in-hole, ball-in-pocket. You"re the key on my kite string.
GUNN: OK.
LORNE: We gotta turn Angel around on this whole party idea.
GUNN: We do?
LORNE: Look, I know he"s the boss and everything, but you"re up and coming here, and it"s time for you to spread your wings, legal eagle. From now on, I want you to stake out your territory, and I want you to keep it staked.
GUNN: Stake, territory. Sure. Look, um, Lorne, I"m a little busy right now. I have a deposition to get ready for, but I will definitely get to that.

LORNE: Great. Just what I wanted to hear. Angel"s office, 10 minutes.

SPIKE: In my day, no self-respecting creature of the night went out on All Hallow"s Eve. We left that to the posers, the blighters who had to dress up and try to be scary.
Magic windows. Will the perks never end?


LORNE: Ah, perfetto, Benigni! Perfetto-
Ah, si, si, si. Grande. Ciao.
What did I miss?


ANGEL: Us. Waiting.
LORNE: Oh, right. Sorry. So, uh, Angel, we just wanted to take a moment and emphasize how important this party really is to us.


GUNN: I gotta say Lorne is right. We gotta show all the big bads that the new regime is here to stay, which, for the most part, boils down to image. And image-wise, if this party doesn"t kick ass, we lose face.


LORNE: And believe me, milk dud, speaking as the head of your P.R. Department, we need all the face we can get.
ANGEL: Milk dud?
LORNE: Said with affection.
ANGEL: OK, listen, I understand the whole "keeping up appearances" concept, but everyone coming to this thing is unrepentant, dyed-in-the-wool evil.
LORNE: Angel, a good host just doesn"t make these sort of judgments.
ANGEL: We don"t know how many of them are holding grudges against us or against each other. It"s a perfect recipe for an out-of-control bloodbath.
LORNE: That"s describing every good party I"ve ever been to. Listen, Angel, don"t worry about a thing. This is my forte. And I ran Caritas for years, a nightclub with an open-door policy. The good, the bad, the hideously ugly, they all bellied up to my demon bar, but they all played nicely together while they were there.


EVE: And this is exactly the kind of ethical tightrope you"ve gotta walk now, Angel. Which brings up another point- your employees.


ANGEL: Also evil.
HARMONY: Here"s your blood, bossy.
Ahem. Boss.
EVE: Some of them, yes, but all of them work hard for this firm, and Halloween, well, around here it"s like Christmas. Simply put, this is a morale thing.

HARMONY: Good luck. The morale around here stinks.
ANGEL: What?
HARMONY: Uh-huh. Everybody thinks you suck. Well, come on, boss. They"re all out there, sweating through their matsudas, worried if you"re gonna axe them or, you know, axe them.
ANGEL: OK, look, hey, I haven"t- OK, look, I may have...killed a couple of them.

LORNE: And several clients...and maybe some potential clients? Why do you think my R.S.V.P. list is only a fifth of the size of last year"s?

EVE: It"s you, babe.
ANGEL: Come on, what, do they think I"m throwing this thing so I can slaughter them?
Fine. I surrender.
Go ahead, Lorne. Put on your best dog and pony. I won"t get in the way.

LORNE: I don"t want you to sit back and just let it happen, Angel. I need you to get out there and make it happen.

ANGEL: What does that mean?
LORNE: Archduke Sebassis. Bona fide nobility from the fiery down under. Commands over 40 legions. He"s the living end of a pure bloodline of demonic royalty.


ANGEL: Great. Just great.
LORNE: Well, also, the very peak of the A-list mountain. He"s the crown jewel of the underworld jet set. If we convince him to come, all the other glitterati will just domino in right behind him, and then-then we"ll be in business.
ANGEL: This really matters to you, doesn"t it?

LORNE: Well, of course. The new Wolfram & Hart- I mean, we have to-
ANGEL: No. I mean, this really matters to you. Personally.

LORNE: Yeah. You know, Angel, I- I don"t have superhuman strength, and I"m not a fighter. Quantum physics makes me nauseous, and I barely made a passing grade at mystical studies, but I"m on your team. This is something I can do. I believe it has a purpose that can help you, even if you don"t.


ANGEL: Well, I"m here, aren"t I? I agreed to this.
LORNE: No, you-you did. You did. And I promise you won"t regret it. But, hey, let"s leave it that you let me do most of the talking, huh? You just kind of smile and try not to rip anybody apart. OK?


SEBASSIS: So... this is the mighty Angel. I"ve been told many things about you. Bit of a restless frog, hmm? Making lots of waves in your little swamp.
ANGEL: Yeah, well, I"m just trying to keep the fly population down.
SEBASSIS: Yes. Though I do prefer the tales of your counterpart Angelus. Ah, you had flair back then, child.

ANGEL: Well, I guess we all mellow in our old age.
SEBASSIS: Your contempt is fragrant.
LORNE: Uh-uh, so, your lordship, we were deeply grieved when you declined our invitation. I mean, we"d love for you to reconsider.

ANGEL: Yeah-ha. Yeah. I mean, a party just isn"t a party without the archduke.

SEBASSIS: You"re sure you wouldn"t like some-
ANGEL: I"m fine.
But thanks.
SEBASSIS: Oh, come, come. We"re all blood-drinkers here. Ah, but that"s right. You choose to drink the blood of swine. Filthy beasts.
ANGEL: Actually, that"s a misconception.

LORNE: Filthy! Yes! Honestly, I don"t know how he does it.
Mmm. Wow, this is-
You, uh-you really- you taste great.

SEBASSIS: Well... in light of this amusing chat, and of my longstanding acquaintance with you, Lorne, I will come to the gala.

LORNE: Oh, that"s wonderful news, your lordship! Well, we don"t wanna waste any more of your valuable time.
We"ll-we"ll show ourselves out.
ARTODE: I still think it"s a trap, my lordship.

SEBASSIS: Maybe, Artode, but I am in the mood for intrigue. So we"ll go to their celebration. We"ll just make sure we"re properly dressed.

LAWYER #1: Man, this is lame. I mean, where"s the ritual sacrifice? How do you get the ball rolling without a ritual sacrifice?

LORNE: Hey, guys, come on. You"re representing our glorious firm here.
LAWYER #1: Dude, it"s our night off.
LORNE: Dude, this is your night on! Now mingle. Mingle, mingle, mingle, mingle, mingle!

DEMON: Lorne!
LORNE: Hey there, Devlin. So, uh, what are you supposed to be?
DEMON: You no get? I human bean.
Look. I do human bean. Ahem. I proud my honor roll student.

FRED: Look at Lorne. I mean, God, he"s just so good at this. He fits in with everybody.

LORNE: Oh, right, that"s, uh-ah. So, tell me, that mask, uh, it is rubber, right?
DEMON: My other car a Lamborghini.

LORNE: Kay, so, uh- then, uh- well, you be good and everything.
FRED: I guess I"ve always hated parties. I never know what to do with myself. I just end up at the hors d"oeuvres table, trying to look occupied.
LORNE: Hey there, wallflowers!
FRED: Wallflowers?
LORNE: I need you to give me a hand, help light the fuse on this powder keg? Look at the dance floor. The only thing on it is Harmony. Hey, you keep pushing that envelope, baby!

WESLEY: I"m afraid this really isn"t our element, Lorne.
FRED: Yeah. We"re wallflowers.
LORNE: Oh, no, no, no, sweetie. You"re the young, the beautiful, the ready-to- oh. Well, here"s one problem. You"re totally sober! It"s Halloween. You should be 3 sheets to the wind already. Now, try and get into the spirit of things, OK?
Angel. It"s a graveyard out there, and all the guests wanna meet the new guy in charge.

ANGEL: Look, Lorne, I-I- I have things. I"m busy. I"m brooding.
LORNE: Oh, you"re watching hockey!
ANGEL: Yeah, but my team is losing.
LORNE: Get up off your keister and get out there! I can"t steer this ship of fools by my lonesome! I just can"t do it! I-

ANGEL: Lorne?
LORNE: Let"s boogie, sweet tart.
Well, so over there we have the Britzai representatives. We can get to them later. Oh, and there"s the elder of the Fell Brotherhood. Come on, let"s go say hi!
HARMONY: Come on, Spikey. Come dance with me.
SPIKE: You have got to be kidding.
HARMONY: Oh, come on!
SPIKE: Listen, chippie, you can gyrate all you like. I"ll go to hell before these ghost shoes touch that dance floor.

HARMONY: Ohh, blondie bear, where is your Halloween spirit?
SPIKE: Dearly departed. All this claptrap for a bit of dusty old Druid nonsense. The whole silly lot of you can get hung if you ask me.


HARMONY: What are you even doing here, then?
SPIKE: What am I doing here?
ANGEL: Yeah, Spike. I thought you hated these kind of things.
SPIKE: I would"ve thought the same of you.
LORNE: Oh, no, he"s doing great. He"s already not killed, like, 100 guests.
SPIKE: He doesn"t have to. Party"s already dead.
LORNE: Oh, really, Spike, would it kill you to be a little more positive? Hmm?

MALE VOICE: The Archduke Sebassis!
LORNE: Mmm. OK, sport. You"re on, and please, for me, can you try to be nice to him? Just this one time, huh?

SEBASSIS: Yes. Fine. Sycophants, worms. Don"t writhe all at once. It"s sickening.

ANGEL: Archduke Sebassis!
Thanks so much for coming.
SEBASSIS: Yes, well-
ANGEL: Really, really thrilled that you"re here.

LORNE: Artode, welcome. Welcome. Love the jacket, by the way.

ARTODE: It"s Pylean.
LORNE: Oh, made in Pylea. Ha. My home dimension.
ARTDOTE: Not made in, made from. I skinned it myself. Anybody you know?

LORNE: Well, great. Thanks for dropping by. Ha ha.
ANGEL: And you look just- well, I don"t have to tell you how awesome you look. You know how awesome you look. He knows how awesome he looks, right?

LORNE: Angel, hey. We don"t wanna be greedy with his eminence. Thank you, your lordship.
SEBASSIS: Thank you.
ANGEL: Absolutely. Really. Thrilled to have you here.
LORNE: Okey-dokey! OK, that"ll do it. Thank you. Come on.
FRED: Yeah, for 8 years straight, I went out dressed as Raggedy Ann.
WESLEY: Ooh, sorry.
Sounds like fun, I suppose. We never really celebrated Halloween in England.
FRED: Oh. That"s so sad.
Look, potstickers!
HARMONY: Watch your step, guys. Somebody peed all over there.
FRED: Well, that"s just- huh. Just wrong.

WESLEY: Revolting.
LORNE: Castiglio! Hey, how"s the family? There you are, Umbrigon. How are ya? Nice to see ya. Nice to see ya.
Sea breeze, Tony.
GUNN: So, really, look, come on in next week, "cause I"m sure we can untangle that for you, OK?
Lorne! Looks like this thing"s gonna work out.

LORNE: Yeah. Fingers crossed.
GUNN: Man, I wish I had a tenth of your energy. How do you do it?

LORNE: I"ll let you in on a little secret. I had my sleep removed. Little procedure they have here at the company. Yeah, well, you know, I haven"t slept a wink in, oh, about a month.

GUNN: You had Wolfram & Hart remove your sleep?
Lorne... that"s great!
LORNE: Yeah.
In and out. 20 minutes, no scarring. I"ll tell ya, you ought to think about it. It would go nicely with that legal upgrade of yours.


GUNN: Yeah. Yeah, I"ll definitely look into that.
LORNE: All right. See ya later.
ARTODE: The vampire is setting his trap.
SEBASSIS: Our anti-detection spells worked nicely, Artode. They won"t expect us to be armed.
ARTODE: And if he tries something?

SEBASSIS: Kill them all.
ARTODE: Will you excuse me, lordship?

SLAVE: Pee-pee!
EVE: I have to say, I"m impressed. I saw you with Sebassis. I honestly didn"t know you had it in you.
ANGEL: Yeah, well, it was an act. I think.

EVE: I picked up on that from 100 yards away. Yep. You were bangin" it out to the cheap seats.
ANGEL: Funny. I was gonna say the same thing about that dress.
LORNE: Oh, you two. Really. The sexual tension? Oh, with a knife you could cut it, huh? Get a room.

ANGEL: This seems a little sudden.
EVE: Uh-huh.
ANGEL: Mmm. I mean, do you even have a last name?
EVE: Do you?
ARTODE: Excuse me.
Occupado.
SEBASSIS: Find Artode.
FRED: Hey, you want a piece of me, buddy? That"s right. Keep walking. You walk alone! You walk alone!
WESLEY: Careful. That thing"s loaded.
FRED: So am I. I mean, wow. Wes. Wesley,
I am totally drunk-faced.
WESLEY: Because you can"t hold your- what are you drinking?
FRED: Nothing.
WESLEY: You can"t hold that.
FRED: Oh, yeah? Lightweight? How much have you had?
WESLEY: Including this, I"ve had... about 1/3 of a half of this beer.
FRED: That"s weird, right?
WESLEY: Yes, I think so. I think that"s weird.

FRED: There"s Gunn. Let"s go ask him if that"s weird.
WESLEY: Hey. Hey, Gunn. Is something weird going on?
Charles, you just peed on my shoes.

GUNN: I"ll be damned.
That"s weird.
SPIKE: Hey, is this a great party or what?

FRED: OK, something is definitely wrong with this picture.
SPIKE: This might be the greatest song ever written.
WESLEY: Yes. We appear to be under the effect of something, a spell.
GUNN: Spike, how long have you been, you know... this?
SPIKE: It"s great, isn"t it? I don"t know. Happened a bit after I talked with Angel and Lorne. Yeah. Lorne told me to think positively.

WESLEY: Lorne.
LORNE: Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Hey, kittens. Oh, that dance floor is smoking!
What?
Come on, guys. I"m telling you I did not do anything.
FRED: Angel? You in here? Ang-
ANGEL: Ohh! What?
SPIKE: Hey! Angel"s getting some! Good on you, mate.
ANGEL: What"s wrong with you?
GUNN: What"s wrong with- What are you doing with that-
EVE: Hey. Watch it, pal.
WESLEY: He must be under the effect of Lorne- and Eve, too, presum- presumally.

FRED: Prezoomally.
WESLEY: Lorne"s doing it-something to all of us.
LORNE: I am not.
WESLEY: Everything he"s told us to do, we"re doing. Spike"s thinking positive, Gunn is peeing all over the office.
FRED: And we"re a little bit drunk.
WESLEY: Yes. But not because we drank, because Lorne told us to be drunk.
ANGEL: Lorne told you to pee all over the office?
GUNN: Lord, I hope so.
LORNE: This is crazy. I am not doing this. I would know if I was doing this. I don"t even know what this is.
SPIKE: You know, I really love your desk.

EVE: I don"t get it. I thought Lorne was just an empath demon.
GUNN: Territory! Wait. This morning, Lorne told me to stake out my territory.

WESLEY: Right. Territorial marking, taken a little too literally.
FRED: Hey, guys, keep it in your pants.

LORNE: Ohh. Hey, I did not tell Gunn to go water the ferns. I did not do anything.
GUNN: You had your sleep removed.
WESLEY: What?
GUNN: Yeah. He hasn"t slept in a month.
WESLEY: Oh, dear. An empath demon deprived of sleep for that long-
LORNE: What does that have to do with it?

FRED: Something, apparently.
ANGEL: Lorne, why would you let them do that to you?
LORNE: I had to do something, didn"t I? I mean, you don"t know what I"ve had to deal with. I"m the center of gravity in a town that"s full of borderline disorder celebrities and powerbrokers. All the hand-holding and the ego-stroking and the 4 A.M. Jacuzzi strategy sessions-
I just couldn"t keep up with it, even without sleeping.

ANGEL: Why didn"t you tell me? Why didn"t you tell us? I would have-
LORNE: What? Fired me?
ANGEL: I would"ve helped you, which is what I"m gonna do now, OK?
Ahh.
LORNE: Well, I-OK.
ANGEL: Wes, Fred, go find Lorne"s sleep and figure out a way to put it back in his head.

WESLEY: Yes, sir.
FRED: Done and doner.
ANGEL: Lorne, you just stay tight and try not to, you know, talk.

LORNE: Angel, we still got a party going on. Someone has to make sure there"s ice in the drinks.
ANGEL: Oh, right.
SPIKE: Ooh, ooh! Me! Me! I"m your people person.
ANGEL: Gunn, go on the floor, see if anyone else is under the Lorne effect.
GUNN: Check.
ANGEL: And stop with the-
GUNN: Do my best.
ANGEL: And, Eve, you stay here with me, and we"ll have more sex.
EVE: I"m on it.
ANGEL: ОК.
SPIKE: Brilliant plan. Excellent.
SLAVE: Icky.

room labeled "Psyche Component Storage Facility-Restricted Area".

WESLEY: Lorne"s sleep should be in here... somewhere.
FRED: Lorne"s sleep. Looking for Lorne"s sleep. You know, I think we have pretty interesting lives.
WESLEY: I"d say that"s true, given the average-
FRED: And I"m having such a good time right now. We should do stuff like this more often.
You know, just hang out like we used to. Friend stuff.

WESLEY: Absolutely. Frankly, I always- I always thought we"d be better friends than we are.
FRED: Oh, we should be. Let"s be better friends than we are right now.
WESLEY: Great.
FRED: You know, share stuff, talk to each other, tell each other what we"re thinking.

WESLEY: Yes, that would be-I would-
FRED: It would be nice. We could be confidantes. Confiding confidentially.

WESLEY: I"ve been wanting to do that for some time now.
FRED: What do you think of Knox?
SPIKE: What a fantastic entrance!
ANGEL: Sebassis?
SEBASSIS: The nerve, the raw nerve to lay a hand on one of mine!
ANGEL: What is this? Lower your weapons.
SEBASSIS: These darts are poisoned, vampire. Powerful enough to put you in a coma for a week. Enough to kill any one of them before their next heartbeat. You murdered Artode. I imagine we were to be next.

ANGEL: I didn"t murder anyone.
SEBASSIS: Dress yourself, Angel. You have a public execution to attend.
ANGEL: Big mistake.
SEBASSIS: Move!
LORNE: Oh, boy.
HARMONY: Yeah. Somebody really dipped his chip.
ANGEL: OK, Sebassis, I don"t know what"s going on here, but we are not behind it.
SEBASSIS: Enough lies, vampire.
LORNE: OK, everybody, OK. Yes, the party"s taking an unfortunate turn momentarily. So let"s not... fight.
WESLEY: Sleep disorders, Edelmyer complex, Eldritch causes, Empaths.
FRED: Hey, they don"t just do sleep here. Madeline Chu in accounting, she had her ennui removed. Hey, here it is. Lorne"s sleep. Now I just have to find the delivery device.

WESLEY: This isn"t good. "The effects of long-term sleeplessness on the subconscious mind of an empath can be catastrophic."
FRED: Catastrophic sounds not good.

WESLEY: Under normal conditions, Lorne has the ability to read people"s destinies. But now I think he"s writing them.
FRED: So, what, instead of receiving, he"s transmitting?
WESLEY: And that"s just phase one. "If you sever the empath from his subconscious for too long, that subconscious can"- it can manifest.

FRED: What do you mean, manifest?

LORNE: Wait! Please, wait. I"m doing this. It"s me. I mean, it"s not me. But I haven"t been myself lately. Somehow, I"m making people do things and I"m controlling them.
Whoa.
SEBASSIS: Well, then, Pylean, you"re making me kill you. Is that consistent with your theory?

HARMONY: Oh, my God!
LORNE: It"s me.
SPIKE: That"s one bitchin" big suit.
ANGEL: Lorne, what the hell is this?
LORNE: Stop it! Stop killing! Listen to me. Me!
Wow, I must really hate myself.

WESLEY: Come on, come on, come on.
FRED: Did you press-
WESLEY: Oh.
Yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
ANGEL: Sebassis, run.
LORNE: Ohh! Oh, sorry about that.
WESLEY: It"s here! It"s manifested!
FRED: Angel.
GUNN: Shoot it, Fred. Now!
LORNE: Oh.
Oh. Ohh! Ohh.
HARMONY: Oh, my God! They shot Lorney-tunes.
LORNE: No. I"m OK. Just gonna rest my eyes a little bit.
LAWYER #1: Got to hand it to them. I think this is better than last year.

KNOX: Uh... We have people who do that.

FRED: Oh.
KNOX: I fixed our baby.
FRED: What?
KNOX: The stun grenade. I figured it out.

FRED: ОК
KNOX: What I can"t figure out is why I said I"d do it tonight.
FRED: Yeah. A lot of us are having that kind of problem. I kind of wished you were here.

KNOX: Well, the night is still young. Well-I mean, no. It"s over, actually. But... did you want to get a cup of coffee?

FRED: Actually, I could use a drink.
WESLEY: That thing-I think it was a manifestation of Lorne"s subconscious. It peeled away from his mind, using Lorne"s supernatural powers to punch its way into our world.

ANGEL: "Punch" is the right word. Why was it trying to kill everyone?
WESLEY: I don"t think it was. It may have just been processing the conflicts that Lorne normally deals with in his sleep, acting out on the emotional responses he has to the people around him.
ANGEL: I guess Lorne makes some judgments after all.
Eve. So I guess we should, I don"t know, talk?

EVE: About what?
ANGEL: About what happened back there with us.
EVE: Angel, it"s not like this is the first time I"ve had sex under a mystical influence. I went to U.C. Santa Cruz.

WESLEY: How you doing?
ANGEL: I don"t know.
GUNN: Hey, I spoke with Sebassis" people. Explained what I could.
ANGEL: So what do we got? Lawsuit? Demon war?
GUNN: No. It seems like they enjoy a little blood sport at their social functions. Looks like we"re OK.
ANGEL: We"re not OK. We"ve been so focused on the dangers outside that we didn"t see the ones within. This place is trying to change us, Gunn. We can"t ever forget that.

GUNN: Pretty damn good party, though. I"ll see you tomorrow- well, today, but later. Oh, and your chair.
ANGEL: What?
GUNN: Don"t sit in it. I already called janitorial.

ANGEL: Why can"t I-
SPIKE: You pissed in the big man"s chair? That"s fantastic!
GUNN: Spike, can you please turn off that warm fuzzy?
SPIKE: What, the Lorne thing? Wore off. I just think that"s bloody fabulous.
ANGEL: All right, guys, good night. Let Lorne get some sleep, all right?
Out.
SPIKE: All right. Just this once.
LORNE: Mmm. I"m sorry.
ANGEL: Hey, it"s OK, Lorne. Just try and get some rest. Get some sleep.

LORNE: It"s-it"s hard. It"s hard being the host of the party. Yeah.
ANGEL: Stop trying to be.

The end

 
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