GIRL: Please, you don"t have to do this. I can get you money. You don"t have-
Somebody help! Aah! Aah!
ANGEL: Doesn"t sound like the lady"s interested. Maybe you"re coming off as too needy.
GIRL: What ju-I don"t understand.
ANGEL: Look, don"t try. Just get yourself home and stay out of dark alleys. You"ll be all right.
GIRL: But...who are you?
ANGEL: It doesn"t matter.
MAN IN BLACK: Angel!
Area"s secure. Angel is unharmed. Hostiles contained. Sweep area and confirm.
MAN IN BLACK: We got report of your movement and came for backup.
MAN IN BLACK / HAUSER: I"m Agent Hauser. I run your operations team.
Hi. Glad we caught you. Really would-
Get the forms from her.
Really would prefer it if you didn"t leave a rescue scenario until we had a chance to control the scene. Of course, that is your decision, sir, but-
ANGEL: How did you guys-
LAWYER: Tracking monitor in your lapel. And what a time-saver, too, huh?
NOTARY: This is to confirm that you have been rescued by Angel, C.E.O. and President of Wolfram and Hart,
and this is to indemnify Wolfram and Hart-
LAWYER: If we can just get a couple pictures of you two, that would be great.
Now, uh, the vampire that you terminated, he actually did work for one of your clients.
So, but, hey! First week, no one will squawk, ok?
GIRL: You run a law firm?
ANGEL: No. I mean... well, sort of.
Well, just lately.
NOTARY: I need you to initial here concerning your immortal soul.
GIRL: You did this for publicity?
ANGEL: No! I help... the helpless.
LAWYER: Would you like me to bring your car around, sir? Or anything at all? Mocha? Latte? Decaf?
BOY: Hey, Matt! Wait up!
MATT: Did you get to the store?
BOY: They didn"t have a lot. I got Punisher.
MATT: My dad won"t let me read that.
BOY: Oh, man! It"s so good. He kills everyone. You can borrow mine.
MATT: OK. Do you have X-Men?
BOY: Which one?
TEACHER: Matthew. It"s pretty good. We can talk about it after class. OK, let"s settle down, everyone.
Oh! I"m always getting turned around.
WESLEY: Can I help you with any of that?
FRED: It"s so big.
WESLEY: It does take some getting used to.
FRED: Have you seen my lab? It"s giganamous. And I"m in charge.
WESLEY: I"m sure you"ll have no trouble-
FRED: I don"t even understand half of what they"re doing. There"s this machine, 6 feet tall, it makes this noise- whoompa! Whoompa! Phht! Not a clue.
WESLEY: Well, I"m still stuck back at, "Why on earth are we here?"
FRED: What, because we"re crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. branch to run however we want, probably in an attempt to corrupt, divide, or destroy us, and we all said yes in, like, 3 minutes?
WESLEY: Your run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless.
FRED: Oh, that"s so sweet. And a tad condescending.
WESLEY: Uh, you sure I can"t help you-
KNOX: Ms. Burkle!
FRED: Hi! Oh, um, Wesley, this is Knox. And I told you to call me Fred.
KNOX: A-any minute now, I"m gonna start. Ha! That"s a promise from me to you.
Can I help you with that?
FRED: Oh, thank you.
WESLEY: So, Knox, how long have you been, uh, evil?
KNOX: Oh! Heh! I just mix the potions, you know? And now that I"m taking orders from "el jefe" here, I"ll probably be saving the world on a weekly basis.
WESLEY: Good for you.
KNOX: Do you know how to get to your office from here?
FRED: Why, did somebody eat my breadcrumbs?
KNOX: Heh! It"s not that hard. I"ll show you.
FRED: Thanks, Knoxy.
Oh! See ya!
KNOX: Oh, it was nice to meet you.
GUNN: Think fast!
Heh! Gotta be faster than that in this place.
WESLEY: Cricket"s more my game.
GUNN: I"ve made up my mind. How"s Fred doing?
WESLEY: I"m sure Knoxy will take wonderful care of her. Don"t you think it"s a bit unseemly adding y"s to the ends of people"s names?
GUNN: Does that mean I have to call you "Westle"?
WESLEY: Made up your mind about what?
GUNN: Oh! I want the one on the left. This one makes me feel a little bit less completely out of place. I"d say 17% less. Plus...
a little bit of a view of the mountains. Lived my whole life in L.A., now I find out there are mountains. A brother should be told.
WESLEY: It"s very nice.
GUNN: So"s yours. I mean, if it works for you.
We can switch if you don"t like the-you know, the kung pao or whatever.
WESLEY: Feng shui.
GUNN: Right. What"s that mean again?
WESLEY: That people will believe anything. Actually, in this place, feng shui will probably have enormous significance. I"ll align my furniture the wrong way and suddenly catch fire or turn into a pudding.
GUNN: You having second thoughts?
WESLEY: You"re not?
GUNN: Man, do I look like I belong here? You got the mystical creds at least. I just hit stuff. I mean, even if this works, and we can turn this place around, use it to do some good, it"s gonna be a long, long while before any of us gets anywhere near comfortable here.
LORNE: Oh, sweetie, it"s perfect! Yes, it"s perfect. It"s the project you"ve been waiting for. Yeah, it"s "Joanie Loves Chachi" meets "The Sorrow and the Pity." It"s "Joanie Loves Pity." And you"re-
yeah, that carpet"s great because I want our clients to become dizzy and vomit. Keep flipping, huh?
Yeah, you"re a shoo-in. The part"s yours. Yeah, I"ve got a whole freezer full of horses" heads downstairs. No, I"m just kidding. But listen, the producer"s a client, so read it and we"ll talk.
OK. Better. Horrible and pathetic, but better.
GUNN: You lost, boss?
ANGEL: On a lot of levels.
Did you hear what happened to me last night?
GUNN: You got lucky?
ANGEL: They put a tracer on me. I was working the town, helping the helpless, which is a thing I like to do. All of a sudden, the entire firm shows up in the alley.
WESLEY: We"ll make sure it doesn"t happen again.
ANGEL: We"re turning this place inside out. If they wanna see how I handle running Wolfram & Hart, they"re gonna find out. Everything must go...
Starting with that.
YOUNG WOMAN: Hi. It"s really neat to see you guys.
ANGEL: I"m pretty sure this is supposed to be my office.
YOUNG WOMAN: Never happen again. Just wanted to, you know, see your face.
ANGEL: You like to make an entrance.
YOUNG WOMAN: You always open both doors when you enter a room?
I don"t need to make an entrance. I need to make an impression. I"m gonna be your liaison to the firm. I"ll help you find your way. My name is Eve. And just so we get the whole irony thing of the way...
ANGEL: Who do you answer to?
EVE / YOUNG WOMAN: The senior partners, and if you"re thinking, which, by the way, you are, that you can use me to get to them, let go of the dream. I answer to them. I don"t lunch with them.
WESLEY: Still... a pretty powerful position for a young woman.
EVE: How exactly can you be sure I"m either of those things?
OK, let me tell you how this works.
ANGEL: I thought I was in charge.
EVE: Of the Los Angeles offices of a multi-dimensional corporation. Now, I"m stressing that last word because that"s what we are. We"re a business, and we have a bottom line. Now, you could take your new client list and start hacking away from the top down. A lot of our clients are demons, and... almost all of them are evil.
EVE: Things are always more complicated than they seem, champ.
You can shut this place down, but... then...well, then you wouldn"t have it anymore. If the place closes down, the connections dry up. Evil goes next door. This is the catch-I"m explaining the catch so you don"t have to stand around wondering what it is. See, in order to keep this business running, you have to keep this business running. And that means keeping your clients-most of them, anyway-happy.
GUNN: Means letting them get away with stuff.
EVE: Sweetie, they were getting away with it while you were all sitting around your hotel waiting for the phone to jangle. Well, you"re on the ins now, and you can stop the worst of it. Maybe find some new solutions to some old problems.
Come on! Isn"t anybody excited? This is a crazy time of fun. The most powerful evil around has given a pivotal position over to its sworn enemies. You"re not scared, are you?
The client files are all in there. You might want to start going through "em.
ANGEL: This is unbelievable.
FRED: I think I"ve lost my appetite, which is kind of a first.
LORNE: Hmm, well, this is interesting. Apparently old Joe Kennedy tried to get out of his deal with the firm.
ANGEL: That explains a lot.
LORNE: Yeah, but George, Senior-he read the fine print. There"s no one these guys don"t have a piece of.
ANGEL: How are we even supposed to start making things right?
GUNN: Here"s a winner-Corbin Fries. On trial for smuggling Asian girls in for cheap labor and prostitution. Been charged with drugs, gun running, nothing stuck.
WESLEY: And that"s one of our human clients.
GUNN: Looks like the trial"s not going too well this time.
ANGEL: Hmm, first good news all day.
GUNN: I can"t even remember which pile is which.
ANGEL: I"ll get my secretary to go through it in the morning. Do I have a secretary?
WESLEY: I imagine they"ll find you someone who can stomach the idea of working for the side of the righteous.
GUNN: My impression is a lot of these guys are just opportunistic. They"ll go with the flow.
FRED: You know we"re gonna have to check the whole staff, make sure we don"t have any die-hard evildoers plotting against us.
WESLEY: And here I was, worrying about the clients.
ANGEL: We"re doing the right thing...right?
LORNE: Well, uh...
We"re doing it tomorrow, exalted one. My horns are falling asleep.
ANGEL: Yeah. You guys go get some rest.
FRED: What about you?
ANGEL: I"ll work a while yet. Go on.
EVE: Lot simpler fighting vamps on the street, wasn"t it? Tricked-out pickup, loyal gang, just you and the pointy wood against the living dead.
GUNN: This gonna be a thing with you, jumping out at people, or do you just not have an office of your own?
EVE: I"m just wondering if you"re ready for the next step.
GUNN: Or if maybe I"d like to go back to living on the street, eating garbage and watching my buddies get picked off one by one?
Yeah, that was the life.
EVE: So you"re not backing out?
GUNN: You don"t know me or you wouldn"t ask that question.
EVE: I can see why the senior partners chose you.
You"ll feel like a new man.
WESLEY: What did she mean?
GUNN: Tailor. Guess I"m not dressed for success.
ANGEL: Um...can I get a cup of coffee or something?
PHONE MENU VOICE: You have reached ritual sacrifice. For goats, press one, or say "goats."
WOMAN"S VOICE: This is Angel"s office. How can I help you?
ANGEL: This is Angel.
WOMAN"S VOICE: No, this is his new assistant.
ANGEL: No, this is Angel.
WOMAN"S VOICE: Are you sure?
ANGEL: Less and less. Can I get a cup of coffee? Or if there"s blood-
WOMAN"S VOICE: Oh! Right away.
PHONE MENU VOICE: To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound-
WESLEY: It"s Wesley. Can I stop in? We might be into a situation.
ANGEL: Uh, sure. Come on by.
HARMONY: Hey! Boss.
ANGEL: You"re my secretary?
HARMONY: Hello! Assistant.
ANGEL: Explain why I shouldn"t kill you.
HARMONY: Secretary"s fine.
ANGEL: No, it"s not fine. Where is it fine? You"ve been working here?
HARMONY: Well, duh! I"m a single undead gal trying to make it in the big city-I have to start somewhere. And they"re evil here, they don"t judge. They"ve got the necrotempered glass-
no burning up-a great medical plan, and who needs dental more than us?
ANGEL: This is surreal.
HARMONY: Now, before you go threatening to fire me-
ANGEL: I threatened to kill you.
HARMONY: Don"t let"s quibble. Before anything, just think-I"m strong, I"m quick, I"m incredibly sycophantic-if that means what that guy said-and I type like a superhero...if there was a superhero whose power was typing. And, hey, we keep the same hours. Creatures of the night... unite.
How do you like your blood?
ANGEL: Tell me that"s not-
HARMONY: It"s pig"s blood. I"m totally off the human blood. That"s not even a thing.
ANGEL: It tastes-
HARMONY: Pretty good, right?
The extra ingredient is otter.
WESLEY: Angel, it"s one of our cases. It"s becoming problematic.
HARMONY: Hey, Wes.
ANGEL: You knew that she was-
HARMONY: Wes is the one that picked me out of the steno pool.
ANGEL: But why... You, uh...
WESLEY: Well, I thought a familiar face would be just the thing in a place like this.
ANGEL: You turned evil a lot faster than I thought you would.
HARMONY: We"re gonna get along great, boss. The whole gang. I mean, Cordy is gonna lose it when she finds out-
I mean...you are gonna tell her you"re OK with this, right? I mean, I know she was mad at me for trying to kill you all, but she wouldn"t-I mean...
WESLEY: I thought she knew.
ANGEL: Cordy"s sick. She"s in a coma.
HARMONY: Oh. God, I-I didn"t... What happened? Is she gonna be OK?
ANGEL: We don"t know.
HARMONY: Cordy was my best friend, like... my whole life. She"s my role model. How can she... So, anyway, I really think you should not fire me, and Wes does, too.
WESLEY: Harmony, would you ask the men in my office to join us, please?
WESLEY: If there"s a way to help Cordelia, we will find it.
ANGEL: What"s the case?
WESLEY: Corbin Fries. The lowest piece of pond scum I"ve met in, oh, hours. He"s about to get 20 years for kidnapping, pimping-
ANGEL: I saw the file.
WESLEY: Yeah, well, personally, I think he deserves to be eaten by weasels, but he"s hinting we"d best help him. Threatening, actually.
ANGEL: Mr. Fries.
HARMONY: Mr. Fries, this is Angel.
WESLEY: I"ve been bringing him up to speed on your case.
KEEL: Desmond Keel.
WESLEY: One of ours.
ANGEL: Nice to meet you.
KEEL: I"ve heard, uh, things.
HARMONY: Would anybody like coffee?
FRIES: Oh, yeah, let"s all chit-chat and have tea and crumpets "cause I got so much time. Here"s the skinny: Tomorrow the D.A. рuts my tit in a wringer for good and all, and that... does not stand with me. Butt-munch here, he got his law degree at dog training school,
and the prosecution has everything they"ve ever dreamed of.
ANGEL: Because you"re guilty.
FRIES: Of course I"m guilty. What the hell are you changin" the subject for? The point is, when Holland Manners was running things, this would"ve never got to trial. Now, I bring a lot of money into this firm, more than most, and I don"t do that so I can be handed over to the frickin" law.
You... gotta get me off.
ANGEL: It"s strange, my lack of incentive.
FRIES: You think I give a ferret"s anus about your new regime here? Yeah, I know who you are, and I care to the sum of zero. You"re my lawyers. And if you don"t do every last thing to keep me out of jail, you will regret it.
KEEL: Well, we can"t dance around this one. We"re not in a position to have anyone killed.
Not that we would. And the jury"s, uh, tamper-proof. Literally.
I think one of the D.A."s shamans has conjured a mystical shield around them.
WESLEY: So this one has to be won on the merits of the case.
KEEL: Now, we have top men on this-
FRIES: Who are doing jack! I am not gonna be made an example of. Either you get me off tomorrow-
ANGEL: I think you should calm down.
FRIES: To hell with calm down. Either you get me off, or I drop the bomb.
FRIES: Let me put it this way: If they bring in a conviction, bye-bye, California. I say the magic word, the only people left standing are gonna be the ones that are already dead.
HARMONY: Oh, well, that"s a relief.
LORNE: OK, well, we all know why we"re here. So why don"t we get started.
WOLFRAM & HART
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION SESSION 2D
EMPLOYEE Rabinowitz, Cindy
ON THE BUBBLE
TO BE FIRED
LORNE: Uh... Cindy...Rabinowitz?
CINDY: There once was a woman who loved a man
He was the one that she took poison for
They say that nobody ever loved as much as she
But me, I love you more
KNOX: So...he can read your mind?
FRED: Oh, while you"re singing, he can sort of feel out your aura, your future. It should help us weed out the, you know, most evilest, which I"m sure you"re not.
KNOX: Hey, I"ll go up there right now, warble away. I want you feeling 100% secure running this lab.
FRED: Yeah, that"ll never happen in this lifetime.
Uh, evil aside, I"m not sure that I"m much of the running-things type. I"m more the running-away-from-things type.
KNOX: Why do I have trouble believing that?
FRED: Maybe you"re not very bright.
Hi, this is Fred. I mean, Practical Science Department, this is the head...Fred. How may I help you?
Blow everybody up?
ANGEL: Well, he said "drop the bomb." We don"t know what that means.
WESLEY: We very nearly found out.
ANGEL: What? I"m not allowed to hit people?
WESLEY: Not people capable of genocide.
ANGEL: Those are exactly the types of people I should be allowed to hit!
LORNE: Hey, back to the here and now, chickadees. Where do we stand?
WESLEY: We need to find out about this bomb and somehow disable it in case that jury comes in with a conviction.
We think it may have some mystical element.
ANGEL: Fries said, "I say the magic word." He could mean exactly that.
WESLEY: Which is my department. We also think it probably isn"t an explosive. This isn"t the sort of man to risk his own life. So that could mean more magic-
FRED: Or it could be a virus, ebola kind of thing.
ANGEL: Right. The main thing is, any of this stuff could"ve come from right here.
Keel, the lawyer, says he doesn"t know anything, and I believe him.
ANGEL: He"s terrified.
LORNE: It"s going around.
WESLEY: Fred, go through the lab records. See if Wolfram & Hart deals in viruses.
Lorne, you"re in the courtroom. Monitor the case. Let us know how it"s going.
LORNE: But lunch with Mary-Kate... She was gonna tell me about Ashley"s new piercing.
HARMONY: I paged Gunn 3 times. Still nothing.
FRED: Why isn"t he here?
LORNE: Why is she?
HARMONY: Long story.
ANGEL: Maybe not.
HARMONY: Oh, and I got Spanky"s address.
ANGEL: Freelance mystic. He"s showed up in Fries" files a few times. I"m gonna do some legwork.
FRED: Can you get there by sewer?
ANGEL: Not this time.
Oh, God, they"re so beautiful!
ANGEL: Hauser, right?
HAUSER: We got word there"s a floater you wanted brought in.
ANGEL: How exactly did you get that word?
HAUSER: That"s my job, sir. You want us to bring him in?
ANGEL: I"ll take care of it.
HAUSER: Traditionally, my unit handles all the wet work.
ANGEL: I know you meant field work.
HAUSER: Of course.
ANGEL: Mm-hmm. I"ll take care of it.
Later on, you can tell me all about tradition.
SPANKY: So what do you want?
ANGEL: I"m here from Wolfram & Hart. Here about a job.
SPANKY: Well, then....get your butt in here. Pardon the sweaty. I was working out. Uh, you want a drink? I got a pitcher of daiquiris.
ANGEL: I"m good, thanks.
SPANKY: So am I. And I"m about to be better.
ANGEL: Hmm. So tell me...
why do they call you "Spanky"?
SPANKY: I"m a big "Our Gang" fan.
ANGEL: That"s what I figured.
SPANKY: Look, buddy, I"m gonna be up-front with you. I got nothing against people doing their thing. It"s a wide and wonderful world, but...I don"t spank men. It"s not a judgment. Men have fine, firm asses. You"ve been to the web site, you know how much I work on mine. But when you said Wolfram & Hart, I assumed you were here about a mystical job.
ANGEL: I am. The one you did for Corbin Fries.
SPANKY: Yeah? OK, I don"t discuss my old jobs. Mystic-client privilege.
ANGEL: You"re gonna tell me what you did for Mr. Fries. Now... or very soon from now.
SPANKY: I built him a container, a mystical vessel. You can put anything you want in it.
ANGEL: Like a bomb.
SPANKY: A bomb, a curse, a golden retriever. Anything. I don"t know what he wanted it for. The vessel just holds it until the magic word dissolves the vessel.
ANGEL: OK, then, where"d you place the vessel?
SPANKY: You know what I"m doing now? I"m applying pressure to your windpipe. You"ll pass out, and then I"ll let Mr. Fries decide if he wants you to wake up again.
ANGEL: Do you know what I"m doing now? Not using my windpipe.
ANGEL: Capital "V." And there"s something else you should know about me.
I have no problem spanking men.
GUNN: Hold on a sec. This is deep stuff. Looks like Demi might be breaking up with Emilio.
DOCTOR: I"m afraid the magazines are a little out of date.
GUNN: Then you shouldn"t keep people waiting for 5 hours.
DOCTOR: Not nervous, are we?
GUNN: No. Definitely past nervous here.
DOCTOR: So...I understand you were in the white room. Spoke with the conduit himself.
GUNN: That"s between me and the big cat. We gonna do this thing?
DOCTOR: By all means. Please... remove your shirt.
KNOX: Oh, OK, this could be bad.
FRED: Bad what? How? Where?
KNOX: We did do some work with Fries on illegal pesticides, rodent killers, but this guy Lopez...
FRED: The lab technician?
KNOX: Yeah. I don"t know him.
Oh, OK. He was fired. Oh, no, I"m sorry. He was set on fire.
FRED: That"s interesting. For working with Fries?
KNOX: Maybe under the table.
There"s a link to his name. A cult.
FRED: "The Black Tomorrow." Oh, thrills.
KNOX: I think you were right, boss. These guys specialize in quick-fire disease scenarios: Sarin gases and viruses.
FRED: Which you all built.
KNOX: Hey, no. We"ve contained more plagues than we"ve ever designed.
I"m not all about destruction here.
FRED: We have to find out what he had access-
Department of-Fred-Angel, yeah. It looks like our client might be playing with a virus. Spread by touch or maybe even airborne.
ANGEL: That"s the bomb.
FRED: Safe guess. So did you find out where he put it? Angel?
ANGEL: Yeah. I found out where he put it.
TEACHER: Matthew Fries! Do you want to spend the rest of this class in the corner?
DOCTOR: Uh-uh-uh! Slowly, slowly.
Do you want to stop?
GUNN: Are we finished?
DOCTOR: Not quite yet.
GUNN: Then shut up and do it.
WESLEY: You got anything, Fred?
FRED: I"m not sure. We"ve isolated a few strains which Fries may have had access to.
WESLEY: Any antidote?
FRED: Nothing. The antidote probably died with the tech guy that made the virus.
WESLEY: Fries must be immune. There has to be-
FRED: And we"re not even sure which strain it is. I"m trying, Wesley.
WESLEY: I"m not doing much better. I can"t disable the trigger if I don"t know the magic word.
Short of killing Fries-
FRED: That could trigger it, too.
WESLEY: I know.
Back to our respective grindstones, I guess.
FRED: He gonna be all right?
WESLEY: He does seem to be taking it very personally.
FRED: Probably this place.
It gets to you.
EVE: Rough day at work?
ANGEL: His son. He took a lethal virus, and he stuck it inside his son.
EVE: Hits you where you live, doesn"t it?
Of course I know. You lost your son. Well, gave him up.
ANGEL: To save him.
EVE: Which you did. He"s happy and well-adjusted now that he has no memory of you, and the rest of the world, including your best friends, never even heard of Connor.
ANGEL: That"s not a name I want passing through your lips.
EVE: And what would you like passing through my lips?
ANGEL: News flash: You"re not cute when I"m angry!
EVE: I"m just curious how you"re gonna play it.
ANGEL: Well, I"ll isolate the boy if it comes to that. Stop it...from spreading.
EVE: Here"s the news from this sector: If every case hits you this hard, you"re not gonna last a week.
ANGEL: Now, I don"t want you coming into my office again unless I ask for you. I don"t want to hear another word right now unless you decide to start helping out.
EVE: How do you know I"m not?
KNOX: Yeah, I"d say we"re looking at a retrovirus. Spread by touch. Some derivation of the phonaya strain.
FRED: Are you sure?
KNOX: Couple more tests.
FRED: Are you running them?
KNOX: I"ll get someone on it.
FRED: Don"t get someone on it, have someone on it. Did we build this thing? Do we have an antidote? Do-do we have an Antidote Department? Do you do anything besides pretending you"re running an evil Radio Shack?
Y"all are tired, I know. I just want you to understand that in a few hours a virus is gonna start spreading in this city that"ll kill every person in it, and when blood starts streaming out of our noses, eye sockets, and fingernails, I"ll have the intense satisfaction of knowing that I"m dying with the only people in the world that actually deserve it! Now, focus, people!
Work the damn problem!
KNOX: You"re the boss.
KEEL: Your honor, the defense objects to this entire line of questioning.
JUDGE: Yes, of course the defense objects. The defense always objects. I"m curious, Mr. Keel, is it just the sound of people talking that offends you?
KEEL: We still feel that this line of...
LORNE: Angel toes, Lorne. Hey, listen, I"m gonna go ahead and recommend we get that boy into isolation pronto.
ANGEL: How long do we have?
LORNE: The defense is drawing it out, but the judge is making merry sport of them, and, well, now the jury"s looking at Fries like he"s O.J... without the commanding performance in "Towering Inferno."
ANGEL: Do you think he"s gonna say the word?
LORNE: Before they even deliver the verdict. He"s dead meat, and he knows it. I think Fries, Junior, is about to become Patient Zero.
ANGEL: All right. Thanks. Uh, I"ll get to the school. Stay in there.
HAUSER: OK. Let"s show the new boss how a threat is contained.
AGENT: Terminate the kid?
HAUSER: This is a level one, possible contagion. We take out the kid, the class, anyone within 50 yards. A clean sweep, people. No survivors, no witnesses.
WESLEY: Fred"s got the lab techs on track for an antidote, but it could be days.
Same with removing the mystical container, I"m afraid. If we could get them to suspend the trial-
ANGEL: Not gonna happen.
I gotta get to the school.
HARMONY: Uh, boss?
ANGEL: It can wait.
HARMONY: Maybe not.
ANGEL: Go to the courthouse. Plan C. I"ll let you know when I"ve isolated the boy.
HARMONY: The special ops team already left for the school.
HARMONY: They left, and they called for the cleaners to meet there. I have it from some of the girls "cleaners" means a big job. Lots of bodies.
ANGEL: How long ago?
HARMONY: 10 minutes.
WESLEY: You"ll never beat them on the street.
ANGEL: Well, I gotta try.
HARMONY: Um, boss?
ANGEL & WESLEY: What?!
WESLEY: How"s it going?
D.A.: ...calling witness after witness, each less credible than the one before...
LORNE: Yeah, so, what"s the plan? You"ve got a plan?
Oh, and here I thought we were desperate.
ANGEL: So it turns out, with this new deal and all, I own a helicopter.
HAUSER: Where"s the boy?
ANGEL: You just missed everybody.
Oh, I probably don"t wanna be breathing that.
HAUSER: Kid"s still a threat, which means you have him isolated, probably nearby.
ANGEL: I can see why they made you the leader. Do I even have to start with how fired you all are?
HAUSER: That"s not how it works.
ANGEL: Oh, right! Tradition. Why don"t you show me how that"s done?
HAUSER: Thank you, sir. Take him out!
JUDGE: If there are no more objections, I"ll hear final summations.
GUNN: Your honor, the defense requests one more minute to confer.
JUDGE: Another defense lawyer. What a joy.
KEEL: Uh, Your Honor, at this point, I"d like to cede the floor to my colleague Charles Gunn.
JUDGE: So noted.
GUNN: Thank you. Your Honor, the defense moves for a mistrial.
JUDGE: You are, of course, joking.
GUNN: Your Honor, that"s the second prejudicial remark you"ve made against the defense since I entered the room.
JUDGE: What are your grounds for requesting a mistrial?
GUNN: You are, Your Honor. I"m asking that you recuse yourself from this trial.
JUDGE: The thin ice you are on is over very deep water.
GUNN: No judge shall be appointed to try any case concerning a business colleague or employee. Permission to approach the bench.
JUDGE: These are...?
What are you doing with my tax records?
GUNN: The highlighted portions indicate stock in Oriental Bay Exports, which is owned by Loros, Incorporated, which in turn is owned by a consortium that includes the defendant, Corbin Fries.
JUDGE: I have brokers who do my- You submit that I could possibly have known about this connection?
GUNN: I found out, and I"ve been on the case
JUDGE: The ice is melting, counselor.
GUNN: The defense submits it has learned how to swim.
I withdraw that statement with apologies.
McCracken vs. The State of Maine,1954: "Any financial dealings shall be deemed the responsibility of the interested party, regardless of number or function of employees unless said party has been judged mentally incapable."
Permission to approach. And furthermore, the strain on my client"s several businesses has forced Oriental Bay Exports to shrink its holdings of late.
If Mr. Fries is convicted, the interest your honor has in it would represent a controlling interest.
I would prefer not to present the rest of our findings in front of the jury.
JUDGE: I"ll see counsel in my chambers. Right now.
ANGEL: You know that won"t kill me.
HAUSER: It"ll hurt. That part"s fun.
ANGEL: Agent Hauser, I"m honestly beginning to suspect that you"re not part of the solution.
HAUSER: You really think you can solve the problem? Come into Wolfram and Hart and make everything right? Turn night into glorious day? You pathetic little fairy.
ANGEL: I"m not little.
HAUSER: That"s exactly what you are. You"re minuscule. A dust mote on the shelf of that great institution.
Now, you think I"m just a trigger-happy jerk who follows orders, but I am something you will never be. I"m pure. I believe in evil. You and your friends, you"re conflicted. You"re confused. We"re not. That is why you are gonna lose, because we possess the most powerful thing in the world... conviction.
ANGEL: There is one thing more powerful than conviction. Just one. Mercy.
AGENT: What happened to mercy?
ANGEL: You just saw the last of it.
EVE: It"s very simple, really.
Charles agreed to let us enhance his mind with a comprehensive knowledge of the law.
WESLEY: Without asking us?
GUNN: Mother, may I?
FRED: Without telling us?
GUNN: "Cause I knew you guys would freak. Look, it"s me here. They didn"t evil me up. All I got stuck in my head was the law. And for some reason, a mess load of Gilbert and Sullivan.
EVE: Standard. Great for elocution.
ANGEL: How can you possibly know they didn"t do anything else?
GUNN: "Cause I saw the man in the white room. He does a lot of scary things, but lying ain"t one of them.
EVE: You needed a lawyer to get by here. Charles had the most unused potential.
His degrees are all forged, but he"s the real deal.
GUNN: You want me to sing for Lorne? I could give him a little "Pirates of Penzance." All of it, actually.
EVE: I would also point out that he did just save the day, without ever resorting to violence. How"d you do?
I think you guys are gonna make it work. Yay, team.
I"ll see you around.
LORNE: Of course, saving the day meant getting the scumbag who was ready to sacrifice his own son off on a technicality and then returning said son to said scumbag.
WESLEY: Fred and I have enough time to disable the charm now. He won"t be in danger.
GUNN: And Fries is gonna have to dial down the criminal activities "til this thing comes to trial again. Which I can draw out for months.
FRED: Is this gonna be our lives now? Fighting our own employees, our own clients? Are we really gonna do any good?
ANGEL: Yes, we are. We"re gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it"s a powerful weapon, and we"ll figure out how to wield it.
WESLEY: Or kill ourselves with it.
FRED: Yay, team.
ANGEL: No, sooner or later they"ll tip their hand, and we"ll find out why they really brought us here.
Meanwhile, we do the work...our way, one thing at a time.
with whatever comes next.
HARMONY: Blondie bear?